


Your Secret Admirer

by TheBigBlamTheory



Series: Epic Blam Tale [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M, Getting Together, M/M, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-07-23 19:30:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 85,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7476954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBigBlamTheory/pseuds/TheBigBlamTheory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas is coming and Sam is trying to win the heart of his beloved one. The only problem is that Blaine is not only engaged but also has found his soul mate in Kurt and sees Sam only as his bro. Maybe some love letters can change that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Mission

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The Blamily](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+Blamily).



> So, people who know me from ff.net (Blame Blam) already know this story. It is time to revise it and upload it here! I only regret that I do this in summer because, well, it's a Christmas story. But not only! It is also the kick-off to a series of stories that have become my official headcanon for Glee, starting at Season 4, if Sam had been allowed to live out his love for Blaine.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, and those to come. I call them the YSA-series named by this original story (which I didn't plan to have so many sequels but you know, sometimes life just happens. ;-).

  
  


_November 24_ _th_ _, Sunday: 31 days until Christmas_

_Mission: Make Blaine* fall in lov with_ ~~ _me_ ~~ _Sam Evans  
*Anderson_

Sam drew a few hearts on the page of his notebook and also reindeers because they needed to be there. Then he read over his text, wrote ‘ _Way to Suxes’_ under it and bit his lip. 

This mission wasn’t an easy one. First of all: It had to be subtle. If he was too obvious and failed it would destroy everything. So he had to be like a Secret Cupid and if Blaine wouldn’t love him back everything would just stay the way things were. 

Second problem: Just half a year ago Blaine had proposed to his boyfriend and had gotten the big yes. Meaning they were an engaged happy couple that Sam didn’t want to tear apart. Okay, theoretically they had to break up if Blaine decided to be with Sam but… well. 

The third issue he was facing was…  _How???_ How did one make someone like one? Sam had serenaded some girls before but things had never ended very well. Last year for example he had apocalypse-married Brittany. This year he couldn’t use the ending of the world as an excuse to ask Blaine out because the world wasn’t ending again as far as Sam knew. Wow, wouldn’t it be really convenient if the radio announced a meteor was racing towards the earth and would destroy it on Christmas and Sam and Blaine would have to make their last days on earth count?

Sam sighed. This would most likely not happen. He put down the pen and threw a side glance to his English book. But homework had to wait a few more minutes.

He opened his Laptop and tipped ‘ _how fall in lov_ ’ into the Google search bar and chose on the third suggestion ‘ _how fall in love with someone_ ’. 

Yes! WikiHow had good tips! 

Huh, the site was really long. But no one ever said this mission was easy. Sam grasped his notebook and pen and started taking notes.

-

_November 25_ _th_ _, Monday: 30 days until Christmas_

“I trust you guys with not doping the cookies, you hear me?”, Mr Schue said.

Sam looked up from his notebook and frowned. Cookies with dope? Or had Mr Schue said something else?

But everybody else looked as baffled as he was. Ryder put his hand into the air.

“Why would we –”

“It’s because of what happened a few years ago”, Blaine interrupted him. He sat in the front row and turned around. Sam caught his eyes for a moment and his pulse sped up rapidly. 

“Glee club had a baking sell and they put pot into the muffins. Kurt told me about it.”

_Kurt_ . Shit, yeah. The rival. More or less because Sam wasn’t real competition for him. He looked at his notes with cookies ideas (chocolate, cinnamon, orange) and gulped. Why would Blaine ever love him if he had Kurt? No way. That little crush his best friend had had on Sam was long gone and it hadn’t meant anything except that Blaine had missed Kurt.

“I wonder where Marley is”, Ryder said. 

Sam looked up and realised Glee club had been dismissed. Everybody was up and strolling towards the doors. Sam’s eyes followed Blaine until he was gone, then he turned to his friend.

“I bet it’s because of Jake. I hope she is okay and I hope she’ll help me with the baking”, Ryder said. 

Sam got his bag and put it over his shoulder. With his notebook jammed under his arm he walked out of the choir room and only half listened Ryder talking about Marley. But it didn’t matter since Ryder soon left to go home and Sam headed towards detention. Last night he had spent pretty much time on that site about love and fallen asleep over it and when Mr Mosby had asked for his English homework today Sam had been tempted to smash his own head. 

But detention was only a small price to pay for knowing everything about falling in love and keeping the spark alive. Not that Sam knew how to put it in action but… he’d figure something out.

“Sam! Where are you going?”

Sam took a deep breath. His fingers clenched around his notebook as he turned around and looked into the most beautiful eyes on this planet.

“Detention. I didn’t do my homework”, he said.

“Oh. I am going to look for cookie recipes…”, Blaine said. He put a hand around the strap of his bag and shrugged. 

“Yeah, yeah, totally”, Sam quickly said. Blaine’s eyebrows rose questioningly so Sam added: “I already have some ideas. We will bake together, right? Blam baking session?”

“Of course. Well, I’ll tell you tomorrow about the recipes and then we can set a date.”

“Yes, a date is good!”

Blaine nodded and was about to turn around. He hesitated though and moved a step closer. With a hushed voice he said: “Sam, if you have troubles with your homework you can call me anytime, you know that, right?”

“Okay.” Sam nodded, his throat a bit dry. This fell under the category ‘making him feel like your hero’ and also ‘don’t hide your flaws’. Blaine knew his flaws and had supported Sam very often but he probably didn’t realise how much it meant to Sam. He should say something. Like now. 

“Alright then. See you tomorrow”, Blaine said. 

Sam nodded again, smiled and waved and watched Blaine go away.

Well, there was always next time.

-

Detention was led by Mr Douglas, his geography teacher. Blessing in disguise, it was! Mr Douglas did what he always did: He gave them a task and then hid behind a newspaper as if he was sick of seeing his students. As long as you kept your conversation with your neighbour quiet he wouldn’t say anything.

Some students were already here, others just now arrived after their various clubs. Sam saw Marley sitting in the last row and quickly sat down beside her before the jock Azimio could.

“What are you doing here?”, he whispered.

Marley shrugged without looking up from her textbook. “Mr Schue undid my suspension under the condition I went to detention every day the whole week.”

“Okay and why weren’t you in Glee?”

Now Marley looked up and frowned at him.

“Because my detention starts right after school. But I don’t think I’ll come back afterwards. I mean I got suspended for refusing to undress? And I don’t want to see Jake again.”

“Dude, it wasn’t about the undressing! You said you would support us and then didn’t!”

“Seriously, Sam? You, too?”

Sam narrowed his eyes. He didn’t know why she had refused to wear a bikini, after all she seemed pretty skinny. But yeah, Mr Schues reaction had been a bit over the top.

He shrugged it off and opened his notebook.

“Wait, what about Jake?”

“Haven’t you heard? We’re through.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.”

She looked down again and only nodded. 

For the occasion he and Blaine would bake Sam had a few questions he could ask him. For example about his childhood dreams. On WikiHow it had also been an advice to talk about Religion and Politics to get to know each other’s believes. And it was a really good advice! They never talked about serious stuff. All they did was playing games, watching movies, eat and talk about school. Yes, it was good and not as shallow as it sounded but still they never reached ground breaking territory.

Sam had really good ideas for now. Just if he knew how serious Blaine was about Kurt… yeah, yeah, they were engaged but only because Blaine had been a little – okay, very – obsessive. He and Kurt hadn’t even dated before the proposal. And Kurt hadn’t looked very happy during it, even a little overwhelmed. Maybe that’s why he had said yes? 

But this was about Blaine. He always claimed Kurt was his soul mate, the one and only true love of his life. 

No, this wasn’t hopeless at all.

“What’s on your mind?”

Sam looked up. 

“What?”

“A sigh this deep usually means only one thing: a broken heart”, Marley said. “I should know.”

“Oh.” Sam hadn’t realised he had made any noises. Well, he might as well tell her. 

“I just wonder about someone”, he said. “I like them but I’m not sure if they can ever like me back. I mean they’re in a relationship with someone else.”

Marley gave him a pitiful look.

“That’s a bummer. Relationships are really… Look at me and Jake. All the time I thought we had something really strong, you know? And then he goes and cheats with this… Cheerleader.”

“Are you saying maybe their relationship isn’t as strong as it looks?”

Marley frowned. “No, I was…”

“Hey, that’s a great idea! I can send him anonymous notes just to see if he likes attention from anyone else at all or is grossed out by the fact someone could like him. Thanks, Marley!”

“Uhm… you’re welcome?”

Sam waited until she read on and opened his notebook on the pages with the Blaine-mission-notes. He wrote ‘ _lov letters_ ’, remembered that the website had spelled it ‘ _love_ ’ with an  _e_ at the end, corrected it – and stopped in his tracks.

Damn. His dyslexia. Blaine would know it was him who sent the love notes just because of it. Never mind altering his penmanship. Blaine was the one who corrected Sam’s homework most of the time and knew all of the usual spelling mistakes he made.

“Shit!” Sam closed the notebook somewhat too violently and sat back, crossing his arms. Mr Douglas peeked over his newspaper for a second and when no one made any noise went back to it.

“What now?”, Marley asked.

“I’m too dumb for everything!”

“No, Sam, don’t. You are very smart.”

“Yeah? Then why can’t I even spell the easiest things? How am I supposed to write anonymous stuff when my dyslexia gives me away?”

“Can’t Blaine help you with that?”

Sam’s cheek got all hot. He mumbled “No” and drew his notebook near to fumble it’s pages.

“Oh… well… I could.”

Sam shook his head. The last thing he needed was someone else reading his cheesy thoughts about Blaine. Or knowing who was the target of his attention for that matter. He should just give up or rather don’t even start his mission. He should move on to someone who could love him back and stop crushing on boys who were  _engaged_ . He could go back to chasing girls; with them he had more chances. The fact that his first boy crush ever about two years ago hadn’t led to anything but all of his girl crushes had at least superficially been returned was proof enough.

“Come on, Sam, let me help you with that.”

Sam stopped maltreating his notebook and took a deep breath. 

“Why?”

Marley gently nudged his shoulder.

“Because you look so unhappy I can’t bear it. Plus I think you and Blaine would make a cute couple.”

The heat in his cheeks was back and Sam threw a quick glance to Mr Douglas and Azimio and everybody around. Nobody was looking. But how could she… how dared she… and how did she even  _know_ ?

“What?”, was all he could utter.

Marley smiled for the first time today and leaned back in her chair, shrugging.

“Female intuition. Or am I wrong?”

Sam puckered his lips and went back to his notebook. 

“It doesn’t matter. He’s with Kurt and I’m nothing.”

“Don’t say that! If I remember correctly some time ago a certain someone sang pretty obvious a Phil Collins love song to you.”

“Yeah, to forget about Kurt”, Sam mumbled. He got another nudge on his shoulder, this time somewhat harder.

“With this attitude you will go nowhere, that’s right. Come one!”

Sam sighed and let go of all notebook destroying or lip chewing. It wouldn’t hurt to at least write one note to see how Blaine reacted to a secret admirer. If he crumpled it and threw it away Sam could still make up a plan to get over him, right? 

-

_November 26_ _th_ _, Tuesday: 29 days until Christmas_

Blaine really liked vanilla crescents and marzipan cookies. Kurt had sent him the recipe Carol had given him and from the times Blaine had eaten her pastries he knew it was good. He would suggest those cookies and see what Sam had on his mind but he was sure Sam wouldn’t have anything against any cookies. They would agree on something fast and could maybe bake it today already. It had to be ready for Sunday since it was the first Advent and the school would host a Christmas fair.

“I really worry about Marley!” Ryder came to him when Blaine stood at his locker and searched for his Spanish book.

“Oh, hi, Ryder. Why?”

“Haven’t you noticed? Yesterday she wasn’t in Glee and when I texted her answers were very short and dismissing. She must be in so much pain because Jake cheated on her. Now I don’t judge him nor do I defend him it’s just Marley that…”

His voice trailed away when Blaine, in a move to close his locker door, noticed a pink envelope sticking to its slits. He took it and turned it around. His name was written on it in a very fancy handwriting. Blaine threw a glance around. Tina hadn’t… no, she couldn’t. She was over that, right? And her handwriting was different, anyway, though she of course could’ve disguised it on purpose. But what’s the sense to that?

“…or not? Do you think I should ask her?”, Ryder said. 

Blaine looked up and nodded. 

“Yeah. Do that.”

“Oh, thanks! Such a good advice, my friend!” Ryder patted his shoulder and went away. But then Blaine saw Sam coming up and he quickly put the envelope into his bag.

“Hey, so, I have some ideas. Do you have time today?”

“For what?”

Blaine frowned. “Baking, Sam. Here, look, I printed it out…”

He gave the blond two sheets and glanced for a moment at the pink envelope as he closed his bag. What would it be about? 

“Sounds yummy! And maybe some chocolate cookies?”

“That’s not very Christmassy, don’t you think?”

“What more Christmassy than chocolate? But if you don’t like it, what about cinnamon?”

“Okay, why not. Vanilla crescents and cinnamon cookies then?”

“The die is cast!”

Sam held up a hand and Blaine hit it lightly.

“So… anything else?”, Sam asked. Blaine took the recipes back and folded them.

“Nope.”

“Nothing’s going on?”

“No, Sam, what would be going on? Except school, that is.”

Blaine went to his Spanish class but he couldn’t stop wonder what the envelope held for him. Maybe he could read it during lunch break when he found a quiet place for it. 

-

Blaine entered the library and immediately welcomed the quiet in this room. It was always a nice break from all that shouting going on in the school hallways. And the scent of books made it special, too, somewhat… magical. It was the unspoken promise to take him away to other worlds.

But now he didn’t want to escape from earth. He went to the sport book’s section (people who liked sports on this school wouldn’t read about it and people who liked to read wouldn’t chose sport books) and sat cross-legged down on the ground, his bag beside him.

There it was. Pink and trashy. It almost looked like a love letter. But it couldn’t be. No one would write him a love letter. Well. Only way to find out was reading it.

“Dear Blaine. Your smile lights up my day whenever I see it. I just have to look into your sparkling eyes and the world is the most perfect place in the whole Universe. Forgive me that I can’t reveal myself to you just yet but keep in mind: Your happiness is what my heart holds the dearest. Your secret admirer.”

All Blaine heard was a loud heartbeat. He glanced around and realised it was his own. Was this a joke? Who would admire him from the distance? Could this be true? 

He examined the letter. It had been printed but the writing on the envelope suggested it was a girl. Not that it mattered; he wouldn’t let anything happen whether boy or girl. But it was such a nice gesture. He would like to thank the person who did this. He couldn’t just take such compliments without showing his gratitude! 

When he was back in the noisy hallways Blaine felt like walking on a cloud. Yes, okay, the letter had lightened up his spirits. There was nothing to it. But maybe he should tell Kurt just to be sure. This wasn’t cheating… or was it?

Or… Blaine could return the letter. Then nobody could say he cheated! But how to return an anonymous letter? 

“Dude, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Blaine came to a halt and turned to Jake who was at his locker.

“I didn’t.”

“Something’s going on?”

“No, no… Just… Hey, so you and Marley…?”

Jake sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it. I made the biggest mistake of my life and…” He shook his head and sighed again.

That’s what cheating did with someone. Blaine would know. Oh, ouch. He laid a hand on Jake’s back.

“Well, why did you do it?”

“I don’t know, okay?” Jake loudly closed his locker and went away. 

Okay then. Blaine shrugged to himself and twitched his fingers. If he threw the letter away that would make it right, too. 

Blaine went into the boy’s room and got the envelope out. As he held it over the bin he thought about those words. ‘Your happiness is what my heart holds the dearest.’ Who wrote stuff like that nowadays? It sounded like something Jane Austen would write. It sure was romantic. 

But no. He had sworn to Kurt to be true until the end of his life. They would marry and have many children so what did it matter if some secret admirer now thought Blaine’s eyes were sparkling? Well, good for them! But they should go and find their own soul mate because Blaine would stay with his!

He tore the letter into four pieces and threw it away.


	2. Theories and Rumors

When Sam came over Blaine had already put out all ingredients and heated the oven at the right temperature. They just had to mix together the flour, eggs, sugar and vanilla extract and form some crescents for the first round of baking. 

Twenty minutes later Blaine put the baking tray into the oven and Sam washed his hands.

“So, that was fun! And fast, too. Maybe we can bake three different cookies”, Sam said.

“We have time until Sunday, Sam. We can bake more on Saturday if you want.”

“Yeah. Carol has bought cookie cutters that look like reindeers! I love reindeers!”

Blaine smiled about his friend’s enthusiasm. It was so easy to make Sam happy and when he was his eyes shone like the sun. 

“You haven’t told me about your day”, Sam said as he sat down on the table. 

Blaine wiped his hands with a towel and shrugged.

“Nothing to talk about.”

“So… nothing happened? Nothing unusual?”

Blaine shook his head. “No Alien attack today, Sam.”

“Well, you never know”, Sam mumbled. He grasped the sugar can and observed it closely.

“And your day?”, Blaine asked. He got the feeling Sam had something on his heart. He probably just waited for some invitation to talk.

But then the blond shrugged. 

“Nah. Same old, same old.”

“Sure?”

Sam nodded. He put the can down and stroke strands of his hair behind his ears.

“Let’s start with the cinnamon cookies, shall we?”

Blaine frowned as his friend pulled out the recipe and then rumbled through cupboards to gather more ingredients. Normally Sam talked about his problems, at least with him. But maybe Blaine had imagined things. 

“How’s it going with Kurt?”, Sam asked by the by as he poured flour into the messing cup.

“Great, really great”, Blaine said. He picked up some dough with his index finger and ate it. 

“Yeah?”

Blaine nodded. “Well, what do you want to hear? When we skype we mostly talk about what we’ll do when I get to New York. By the way I really want to go there some time soon. Would you be up for a road trip?”

Sam pressed his lips together and put the flour down. He rocked the messing cup until the flour was even and put some more into it.

“Sure”, he eventually said. “Could be fun.”

Blaine took a deep breath. He really needed to see Kurt. It was hard to think about how they were together and could kiss everyday but then again they couldn’t because of the distance. Now he would see him soon! It made his heart dance and he smiled at Sam.

Sam returned the smile and seemed to ease off a bit. He leaned back and smeared his hands together.

“So, Blaine, what was your childhood dream?”

“Uhm... what?”

“Your childhood dream. Everybody had one, right?”

Blaine was thrown off by that. Where did that come from? Childhood dream?

“Regarding what? Career?”

“Anything. What did you think about the most when you were… say… ten.”

“Apart from the fact how I could please Cooper… uhm… I played a lot with Lego bricks and… I wanted a pony. Yes, I remember, one day there was this placket from a circus hanging right in front of our house and I wanted to see the horses. But we didn’t go.”

Blaine shrugged and ate more dough that stuck to the table.

“Oh, pity! Did you ever do it? Go to a circus?”

“Not really, no. I had other things on my mind…”

“Dude, we should totally go. I like clowns and you like horses! It adds up perfectly.”

Blaine laughed. “It does. But Sam, we can’t… I mean there isn’t any circus around.”

“When we are in New York then.”

Blaine bit his lip. “I will… I want to be alone with Kurt in New York, Sam, I’m sorry.”

“Right.” 

Sam took the sugar can and opened it. He used too much power and the sugar splashed around, whitening the table and Sam’s shirt. He cursed and put the can down while Blaine quickly grasped some paper towels. When he wiped the table Sam put his hands to his face and cursed again. Blaine noticed his hands were shaking and it gave him a little jolt. Could Sam really be that upset about not going to the circus? No, it had to be about something else.

“Are you okay?”, Blaine asked as he threw the paper away.

“I’m just tired. And I still have some homework to do so I should go.”

“Do you want me to help you?”

“No.”

“But you would tell me when you need my help, right?”

Sam got up and puckered his lips. 

“Sam, there’s no shame in taking help because of –”

“I’m fine, Blaine!”

Blaine held up his hands. 

“Okay! I’m just saying.”

“I’m sorry”, Sam said with a softer voice now. “But I’m really tired. I’ll probably just go to sleep.”

“Let me walk you home, then.”

Sam sighed and locked eyes with Blaine. 

“You don’t have to –”

“I want to. Come on.”

When Sam had arrived home safely and Blaine had finished tidying the kitchen he went upstairs and opened his Laptop. He needed to tell Kurt everything about the letter as fast as possible.

But Kurt wasn’t online. Blaine sighed and switched off the Computer. There was no sense in waiting, he had learned this lesson the hard way. Not everything was as great with Kurt as he had told Sam but there was no reason to make a few days without contact into a huge thing. It was just Blaine who felt like that. He was clingy, he knew it and he tried to change it. Just… why couldn’t Kurt at least write a Goodnight text now and then?

But it didn’t matter. Soon they would see each other. And marry, oh, they were engaged! Blaine smiled as he thought about how Kurt had said yes. After all those months of waiting for him! It had come very suddenly he had to admit. First that Kurt had agreed to date again and then… Oh, what a wonderful time it had been. Was that only six months ago? It already felt like eternity – but that’s just how things were with Kurt. For eternity.

-

_November 27_ _th_ _, Wednesday: 28 days until Christmas_

“ _Santa Clause is coming to town_.” Sam hummed along with the song on the radio as he made a sandwich. He didn’t even know why he was good spirited. Just yesterday Blaine had told him how all he did was thinking about Kurt, loving Kurt and he probably mumbled Kurt’s name in his sleep, too. Not one word about the love letter had fallen.

But when he awoke today he had smelled hot cacao and that had been what he needed. Well, for this morning at least. 

In school his high spirits vanished pretty quickly again. He hadn’t gotten round to making his homework again so he dreaded History class. He passed Blaine’s letter-less locker and threw a glance at it. Then he opened his own and took out a book.

“And?”

Sam jerked around. She had come out of nowhere, as quietly as a mouse.

“Marley, what the hell!?”

“What did he say?”

Sam took a deep breath and shook his head.

“Nothing so far.”

“Will you write another letter? It’s is never done with just one. He will think it’s been a mistake or something. You have to be persistent.”

“I don’t know…”

“But I do!”

Marley made him promise to meet up during lunch and vanished in the crowd just when Blaine arrived at his locker. Sam goggled at him for a few moments, smiling and thinking how cute and heavenly he was. And his hair. If Sam could only stroke about it, maybe kiss it… kiss him. 

“What did Marley say?”

“Huh?”

Someone pocked his shoulder so Sam reluctantly let go of Blaine and turned around. Ryder stood there, forehead in frowns.

“What did Marley say?”

“Nothing.” Sam cleared his throat and finally closed his locker.

“Oh yeah? Didn’t look like nothing. You know I’m trying to get her attention so don’t…”

“Don’t what, dude? I’m not interested in her. At all.”

“You better aren’t.”

“I am not.”

“Well, good!” Ryder made an ‘I observe you’ gesture to Sam and went away. He would’ve laughed about all of that if it hadn’t been so tragically wrong. 

“Are you okay?”

Warm fingers pressed Sam’s hand out of nowhere and it jolted through him like an electric shock so he instinctively pulled his hand away. When he turned around he saw it was Blaine. Of course it was Blaine. Who looked somewhat worried.

“You didn’t feel so well yesterday”, he said.

“Oh, yeah. I’m better now. Thanks.”

“Are we still up for Saturday baking?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s a date.” 

Huh, maybe Sam should stop emphasising the date-phrase. But Blaine never noticed it so what.

This situation totally fell under the category ‘support and care’ only that Blaine did it for Sam while Sam actually had to do it for Blaine to get his attention. Quick, what could he do?

“I’ll bring the sugar. Seeing as I trapped yours yesterday…”

“Oh, my mother has enough, don’t worry.”

“I’ll bring some milk then.”

“Sam. We have everything we need. Just bring yourself.”

“Yeah, I can do that.”

“Good.”

Blaine smiled so Sam couldn’t help but smile back. When his friend was gone he pulled out his notebook and checked what else he should put some effort to make Blaine fall in love with him. Ah, being dressed nicely. Asking for important advice. Making a perfect gift.

Sam put it away and thought about it during class. Maybe, just  _maybe_ it would also be good to somehow let Blaine know he was bi. No one really knew. Sam hadn’t talked about it. First he had thought it was a phase because when Rory had been gone he had fallen for Mercedes and then Brittany and the conclusion that he was actually straight had come to him easily. But then he had learned about Blaine’s crush on him and fantasised things and felt sparks and… Realised it too late just in the moment Blaine had asked Kurt to marry him. Oh damn.

-

The atmosphere at the Glee table in the cafeteria wasn’t the best, mildly spoken. Jake didn’t talk to anyone, and so did Ryder. Marley hadn’t sat with them the whole week and Blaine didn’t know whether she had quit Glee club or not. It seemed like it. Sam wasn’t here today, too, though Blaine knew he wouldn’t miss lunch voluntarily. He must’ve gotten hold up by a teacher. Unique only picked at her food. Only Kitty and Artie talked normally so Blaine tried to join in with them.

Close to the end Sam rushed in.

“Oh gosh, I’m gonna kill Mr Douglas!”, he exclaimed.

Blaine chuckled and pushed a tray to him.

“Here, I got you lunch before people would eat it all away.”

“Great! Blaine, you’re my hero!”

He sat down and began to eat while Blaine still smiled at him. Sometimes the urge to lean forward and touch (and kiss) Sam came up. Blaine knew it was simply out of friendship, nothing more. His crush on Sam had been overcome successfully. He was proud of that. He had pushed it away until it was gone and he had done it for Kurt. He’d do everything for Kurt.

When the bell rang Blaine got up.

“Can you tell Mrs Beaver I’ll be a bit late?”, Sam asked, still not ready with lunch. Since they had History class together Blaine agreed and went to his locker.

A few feet before it he stopped and stared at it. There it was, not to be overlooked. Another pink letter. 

When his senses had come Blaine shot forward and grasped it. Staring at it some tingles in his stomach came to life. More compliments. He didn’t need compliments, okay, he had a fulfilling relationship with the love of his life. His best friend, his soul mate, his  _Kurt_ !

Students all around Blaine were hurrying to their classes and he should do so, too. But his legs wouldn’t move. He wanted to read it. Very quickly and then throw it away and tell Kurt about it. But first read it. That’s how thing had to be done. Elsewise he couldn’t tell Kurt what it had been about, right? Yes, that was the reason why he rushed into the next bathroom and locked himself in a stall, ripped open the envelope and soundlessly moved his lips to the words on the paper.

“Dear Blaine. You look marvellous today. But as much as I could drown in your beautiful face I like your soul even more. How you lighten up when someone speaks about music. How you reach out and help people when everybody else looks away. How you enjoy little things that others take for granted. That’s so adorable. You secret admirer.”

That… was… 

Adorable? Someone thought he was adorable? Blaine smiled and read it again. It should be creepy, it should make him feel like running away. The letter came from someone who knew a bit about him. Maybe a stalker? Or rather someone he talked to now and then without realising they liked him. It could’ve been anybody and most likely it was a girl and… what if it was Sam?

As soon as he had thought it Blaine froze. No! He didn’t want it to be Sam, he didn’t want anything from Sam. Apart from the fact that Sam was straight and just a friend and so occupied with being a teenager that he hadn’t had any sense for romance or serenading or whatever. Why did Blaine even  _think_ about that!? Ridiculous, really! 

He crumbled the letter and threw it to the ground. Then he took a deep breath and laughed about himself. Just a rest of his former crush on Sam. Of course he knew the letter wasn’t from him. And Blaine also knew that the person who wrote this couldn’t  _mean it_ because if they did they would just come up to him and tell him, right? Granted, letters and nice words were very romantic and…

Oh! Of course! It had to be Kurt! How had Blaine not seen this? He must have contacted someone – probably Artie – and requested to stick those letters to Blaine’s locker. Only his boyfriend, soon to be husband could be that romantic. Just what Blaine wanted from a relationship. Surprises, fascination, appreciation. It was perfect. It could be nobody else than Kurt.

Blaine took up the letter and put it into his bag. He checked his hair in the mirror and wondered whether Kurt wanted him to talk to him about it or silently enjoy the attention. Maybe that was even the reason why he never was online. To avoid giving it away. Oh… what a relief!

Smilingly Blaine went outside. Who cared that he was late for class. His  _fiancé_ had sweetened the day and nobody could take that away from Blaine. He was the luckiest man on earth.

The hallways were empty as Blaine went to his locker to finally get his History book. He heard fast steps coming closer and turned his head. Sam stopped in front of his locker, breathing heavily and wiping his hair out of his face.

“Dude, what are you doing here?”, he asked. “I thought you were in class already.”

“Something came up. Something wonderful.”

Sam interrupted his rumbling and turned around, his face still red from running.

“Yeah?”

“Sam, all I can tell you is… I’ve got the best fiancé in the whole world! No, in the whole Universe. And he’s giving me the best Christmas ever!”

Sam’s mouth fell open and he stared at Blaine. Quite understandable, who wouldn’t after hearing those fantastic news. 

“What? Is Kurt here?”

“No, silly!” Blaine giggled and stepped forward to nudge Sam’s arm. “He’s in New York. But he… can you keep a secret?”

“Sure. But, uhm… so are we ditching class or…?”

Blaine looked at his clock. They were only ten minutes late but if they went now he’d have to wait to tell Sam the wonderful things Kurt had done. It wasn’t really good to ditch a class, especially for Sam with his dyslexia but Blaine was so excited he wanted to jump and run around. And it was Christmas, so maybe it was okay once…

“If you don’t mind”, he said.

“Do I, do I? Huh.” Sam made a thoughtful face and rubbed over his chin so Blaine had to giggle again. He felt a bit high on happiness. Finally Kurt had realised what it took to keep them alive and kicking! Wow.

They settled down in an empty classroom. Behind the very last row they sat on the ground, backs against the wall and feet outstretched under the chairs. Blaine couldn’t stop grinning and his tingling stomach made him a bit twitchy. He pocked Sam’s arm and took a deep breath.

“You’ll never guess what Kurt did. It’s the most romantic thing ever.”

“Send you flowers?”

“Better.”

“Wrote you a poem!”

“Almost but better still!”

“Huhm…” Sam thought about it but Blaine couldn’t hold back.

“He wrote me love letters!”

“Oh?”

“Yesterday and today I got some very lovely letters. Apparently anonymous. But today I realised they must be from Kurt. He wrote them and then told Artie to put them to my locker!”

Now why didn’t Sam smile and was glad like he was supposed to? All he did was frown.

“Artie can’t reach your locker, dude.”

“I –” Blaine closed his mouth and felt the smile falling from his face. “No. I know. Artie told someone else to do it. Or Kurt contacted… Ryder?”

“Blaine…”

“Don’t! It had to be Kurt, okay? Otherwise someone would stalk me and that would be scary!”

“Maybe it’s someone you know and they don’t know how to tell you”, Sam said.

“Yeah, right! As if…” Blaine shook his head. He didn’t want to think about who of his friends could possibly have a crush on him. And then have to tell them that they had hoped in vain. It still could be Kurt. 

“Just wait and see. I’ll ask Kurt about it tonight. It’s him, I bet everything I have.”

Blaine got up and stretched his legs. He needed to get out of here.

-

Since Kurt wasn’t online Blaine texted him.  _I got your letters, they were so sweet! Made my day. Love you._ Then he switched on the TV and tried to relax. There was a movie called ‘Serendipity’ on that claimed to be a Christmas movie but after the initial scene the wintery stuff faded away. It was about soul mates finding each other no matter what. Blaine got fascinated and needed to know how it would end when his phone buzzed.

“Kurt! I’m so glad –”

“Blaine, I just stole away from work but I gotta be back in five. Seconds, that is. Huh, can you believe them, such slave drivers!”

“Oh, yeah, haha!”

“Anyway, I didn’t send you any letters. But did you get my Email? There’s a new restaurant on the 51th Avenue and it’s called ‘Blaine’, isn’t that hilarious? I took a picture!”

“It really is. But about the letters –”

“Blaine, I did _not_ send them. Do you think I’ve got time to write letters? Honestly, do you know how stressful my job is?”

“Uhm…”

“Believe me. No free time whatsoever. In fact I have to get back to my team now. Bye, love you!”

The connection was interrupted and Blaine stared at his phone for a whole minute, his eyes watery so he didn’t really see anything. He hadn’t? Why not? It would’ve been perfect and romantic and now it’s just a stranger and that made it creepy. 

In the movie the meant to be couple met and Blaine switched it off. Things weren’t right, nothing was how it was supposed to be. In fact everything was messed up. Why hadn’t Kurt sent the letters? Why hadn’t Kurt done anything for Blaine? Was he selfish to want that? He should give Kurt his freedom and love him unconditionally, not whine about how he hadn’t send some stupid letters. No. More. Whining!

-

_November 28_ _th_ _, Thursday: 27 days until Christmas_

Sam put on a green Shirt and looked for a jacket that would fit to it. He had also put his hair in a ponytail and put on cologne. Now he couldn’t do anything too obvious but he hoped to be dressed a little fancier than usual would give him Blaine’s attention. 

When he got to school he knew it worked because some girls were staring at him. Oh yeah, look all you want! He twitched his eyebrows and returned their flirty looks until he stood in front of Marley.

“Oh, hey, Sam. Is that… you look different.”

“It’s part of my plan. But it’s good that I meet you. Look.” He took her aside and made sure Blaine wasn’t anywhere near before he lowered his voice and head, too.

“We need to send another letter today. I have it all written out, you just need to spell-check and print it.”

He gave Marley a paper out of his notebook where he had written down a text. He would go to second base today, tell Blaine that he desperately needed to be around him and wished that one day he would be his. Though there wasn’t any talk about kisses… yet.

“Sam, did it ever occur to you that… The print and the colour. It could make Blaine think a girl is writing him.”

Sam frowned. “Why would he think that? That’s not –”

“Aahhhha!!” 

Someone pulled Sam back and he stumbled to keep his balance. But the biggest shock was when he saw it was Ryder. His papers lay all on the ground and his fists were in the air as if he wanted to fight.

“Dude, what the hell!?”

“Do you still deny it, huh, huh? Whispering in corners and exchanging notes. Come on, let’s clear it up like men!”

Sam frowned.

“First Jake, now you! But I can tell you one thing: I will fight for her. I realised that this is exactly what I need to do!”, Ryder exclaimed.

“Ryder, what are you talking about?”, Marley interfered. 

“You, of course! I will fight for you!”

“Oh. Really?” Marley looked very flattered. She smiled and held her hands to her chest. Unluckily she still held the letter Sam had given her in one hand and now Ryder made a sudden forward move to take it. Sam was just glad he had skipped the salutation because otherwise Ryder would’ve known what was going on as soon as he had unfolded the paper.

“You’re my sunshine, I need you like the air I breathe”, he read out loud. “Yeah, no, Sam, I can see you’re totally not interested in Marley.”

“Dude, that’s not – it’s totally not like you think!” Sam felt how hot his face was and he hoped that Ryder wouldn’t misinterpret his blushing.

But apparently he did because the next thing Sam felt was a poking pain in his lip. He stumbled backwards, held his hand to his lip and tried to hold on to something. But there was nothing and suddenly Sam lie on the floor. Something – someone landed on him and he kicked them away. Ryder screamed for a moment, then got silent.

Sam tried to catch his breath and looked up. Coach Beiste stood there and held Ryder in a firm grasp.

“You two! To the principal, now!”

-

Things hadn’t worked out as planned. Instead of looking better Sam now walked around with a swollen lip and would spent the next days in detention again. And yet another detention was on the table because he had ditched History yesterday. Somehow Mrs Beaver hadn’t noticed that Blaine had been missing, too, and he had gotten away with it. So typical. 

Ryder kept glaring at him and didn’t believe a word when Sam said he didn’t love Marley. Of course he also didn’t say who the letter really had been for so he couldn’t blame him.

One advantage had the swollen lip. As soon as Blaine saw it he came to Sam and asked what had happened.

“Oh, just a little fight, you know… Nothing special. Everyday occurrence.”

Blaine frowned. “You fight every day?”

“Yeah, well, that’s what real men like me do.”

“Sam, you… oh! Does it hurt?”

“Only when I breathe.”

Sam twitched his eyebrows but Blaine frowned.

“I think I have some balm if you need it.”

“Yeah, you know… why not.”

When Blaine turned around Sam held his hand to his mouth and cursed it. It really hurt. But when Blaine turned back to him he smiled again and pretended like it was nothing.

“It’s the only one I’ve got, sorry”, Blaine said as he handed him a little can of Nivea balm.

“I take it like a man.”

“Do you have a concussion, too?”

“Not that I knew of, why?”

Blaine sighed deeply. “I need to go to class now. Promise me you won’t fight again. Who did you fight with, anyway?”

“Ryder.”

Blaine raised his eyebrows.

“Uhm.” Suddenly Sam didn’t know what to say anymore. But Blaine would find out sooner or later what it was about so better clear it up before the misunderstanding could spread.

“About Marley. I mean he _thinks_ I’m in love with her but I’m not.”

“Oh. Marley.”

Blaine’s look drifted to a point somewhere behind Sam. He assured him again he wasn’t in love with Marley but what could he say to make people believe it except the truth? And he wasn’t ready for that yet.

Still, Sam better continued communicating with Marley via phone.  _Please don’t put that part Ryder read out loud in the letter. Also tell him I’m a boy. Thanks. PS I don’t love you_ . Well, she knew but better be sure. 

_Pity_ was what she wrote back. Nothing more. Sam frowned at it but then grinned. Yeah, that’s what he called humour!

-

The class before lunch didn’t seem to end. So Sam was in love with Marley. Or at least fought with Ryder about her. While Jake was actually the one who should be fighting for her. What was in the water that all the boys got crazy about her? 

Sam hadn’t been in a relationship for a few months and Blaine rooted for him. He wanted him to get the girl and be happy. Of course he did! He was his best friend. He had also always known that Sam was straight so this shouldn’t be an issue here. Well, it wasn’t. It was just that… after the disappointment with Kurt Blaine had somehow wanted a little comfort from Sam. But he was busy fighting for girls. 

Blaine stared into space while he chewed on his pencil. Marley was really sweet. She and Sam would make a nice couple. Maybe Blaine should buy some flowers in advance to show his support for them? He didn’t want Sam to think that his former crush stood between them. Maybe he should tell Sam it was over. He didn’t knew it, did he?

_I am so over Sam._ As Blaine realised what he had written into his book he quickly erased it. Then he drew a heart with his and Kurt’s name in it. They didn’t have any issues. Kurt was busy, that’s all. Okay, technically that was an issue because they needed to spend at least some time together. But when Blaine would go to New York that would fix it.

Finally the bell rang. Blaine quickly gathered his things and hurried to his locker. He already saw it from far but this time it didn’t took him by surprise. He took the pink envelope and put it into his bag. What could he (no, she! It most likely was a girl!) have written today?

Blaine knocked his fingers against the open locker door. Should he read it or just throw it away? His fingers got faster and faster. Then he followed an impulse, shut the door and ran to the library. The toilette just wasn’t an appropriate place to read love letters – or flattery letters, whatever.

“Hi Blaine. I’d love to call you Darling but you probably wouldn’t want that. Did I already tell you how cute you look in the morning? Or how uplifting it is just to walk next to you? You are the nicest, most loveable person on the planet and it’s an everyday occurrence that I dream you were mine. Your secret admirer. Ps I’m a boy”

Blaine’s heart beat up to his throat and felt like it was as big as his whole body. Wow. He gulped but didn’t gather back his speech. They – he did really love him. Whoever it was loved him! 

Blaine let the letter sink to his legs and noticed his hands were shaking. Of course they were. Those letters were perfect still. No matter that Kurt hadn’t sent them. Someone dreamed very romantically of him and Blaine hoped it wasn’t a total stranger. But he wrote ‘walk next to you’ so if nobody had done that without Blaine noticing it must’ve been someone from his classes or so.

Who knew? Maybe it wasn’t Kurt or Sam (he was over him anyway) who was for Blaine, maybe there was someone else still. Someone who loved him wholeheartedly and was ready to commit soul and body to him. Blaine didn’t want to claim too much from a relationship but that was what he dreamed about. He had to admit Kurt didn’t behave like that. Of course Blaine wouldn’t break up with him because of that. It was Kurt’s free will; he could do what he wanted! And in relationships you had to make compromises, Blaine knew that.

Also, Blaine couldn’t love someone just because of letters. If they chose to reveal themselves he could think about whether he liked them or not. Right now this was more a fantasy than anything else. Someone who promised love. Big words. Who knew if he could stand to it? Or whether it wasn’t a cruel joke?

He closed his eyes, willed himself to calm down and eventually walked to the cafeteria.

“I got you lunch because you weren’t here and I’m a gentleman”, Sam said as Blaine sat down.

“Thank you”, Blaine said. He took the tray, cleared his throat and looked around. “Wouldn’t you rather sit with Marley?”

“No, you’re my number one cafeteria buddy.”

“Wow, uhm, thanks.”

“Maybe later we can talk about Religion or Politics?”, Sam asked.

Blaine stopped smashing his potatoes and looked at his friend.

“What?”

“We never do that. Talk about deep stuff.”

Blaine pursed his lips and continued the smashing.

“Well, it’s not like we have much time left after school, clubs, homework and relaxing things. What do you want to talk about?”

He eyed Sam from the side. He looked different today. Normally he dressed quietly but today he wore a brown jacket and some green shirts under it and according to that a black jeans. Blaine didn’t even know Sam had clothes like that. And his hair that had gotten a bit too long lately was in a ponytail. It was unusual but the sight of Sam never failed to amaze Blaine. 

“Religion or Politics.”

“But _what_?”

“What what? Religion or Politics!”

Blaine rolled his eyes and salted his potatoes. 

“Or we could talk about… what direction do you want your life to take?”

Blaine turned to Sam who quickly closed a notebook.

“What? It’s school stuff!”

“My life is school stuff???”

“No, this is. Not… your life. That’s important.”

Blaine suspiciously eyed Sam’s notebook and then his friend. He smiled but with his swollen lip it didn’t really look happy. 

“Do you want to go to Starbucks after school and drink Christmassy coffee?”, Sam asked.

Blaine sighed and nodded. He could use some distraction. And maybe he could show Sam the letters and ask his opinion about it. Because as things were Blaine really didn’t know what to think about them.


	3. Asking for a Sign

Chapter 3

The sky was glowing white as they entered the café but it didn’t snow like the weather forecast had said. Sam ordered a cinnamon spiced Latté and two Choco-muffins and when Blaine had said his order he quickly got out his money and told the cashier he’d pay for everything.

“Sam, you don’t have to…”

“I want to. Please let me pay, Blaine.”

Blaine had gotten out his purse but now looked up. Sam held his eyes until his friend nodded.

They went on to the counter to wait for their coffee between other people. Sam leaned against the window sill behind him.

“There’s something I want to show you”, Blaine said. “Ouh! Watch out.”

A little girl had run over his feet and rushed away laughingly. Blaine stumbled a few steps and almost bumped into Sam. He only didn’t because Sam quickly put his hand on his waist and held him, balancing the plate with the muffin on his other hand.

“Hi”, he grinned as Blaine’s face was in front of his nose. It was pretty red.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“Because…” Blaine paused and sniffed. “Do you wear something? You smell…”

“Good?”

When Blaine looked up their noses almost touched. Suddenly it was way too hot in this restaurant. Sam opened his lips and wetted them and somehow watched Blaine’s during the process. Unfortunately Blaine cleared his throat and stepped back.

“Why does the coffee take so long!?”

“You were saying?”

Blaine looked at him, his face cooled down to pink.

“What? Oh. Yeah. I need to show you something. Remember I told you about the letters? Well, it turned out it wasn’t Kurt who sent them.”

Sam raised his eyebrows. Really, not Kurt? What a surprise.

Blaine fumbled his fingers. “I got another one. And I think… it sounds sincere. I don’t know. It could be a joke but… well, what do you think? Could someone have laid their eyes on me?”

“Why not? You’re handsome and cute. I bet many people like you.”

“Oh.” Blaine blushed again. He shyly met Sam’s eyes but then his name was called and he turned around to get his coffee.

“Anyway, it got me thinking”, Blaine said when they went to a table and sat down. Sam put the plate with the muffins on the table and pushed it to Blaine. He took one and Sam got the second one.

“About?”

“About Kurt, mostly.”

Oh no. Looked like Sam really needed that chocolate muffin.

“I wished he had written them and…” Blaine pulled the paper from the muffin without eating it. “I generally just wish Kurt would do something for me. _Show_ that he loves me, not just saying it, you know? Am I selfish?”

“Oomph.” Sam quickly chewed and gulped down the dry cake. He wiped his mouth and shook his head.

“Dude, that’s normal. A relationship lives from affection. On WikiHow they said keeping the love alive is just as important as the getting together phase. You have to put effort into it to make it work. If you were my boyfriend I’d write you love letters as an everyday occurrence.”

Okay, Sam really didn’t know how he could be more obvious. 

“Oh.” Blaine kept fumbling his muffin paper without looking up. “Marley is a lucky girl.”

Sam frowned. “Yeah? Good for her. What about Kurt now? Are you breaking up with him?”

The last time Sam had asked that Blaine had immediately shouted no and told Sam how crazy he was. Now he didn’t do anything except crumbling his muffin. Eventually he shrugged.

“No. What we have is too important to throw it away like that. As you said it requires work. Wait… WikiHow?”

Now Blaine looked up with a lot of questions in his eyes. Sam took a big bite and took his time chewing.

“Well. Yeah. I looked up love and stuff.”

Blaine looked down again – why wouldn’t he just eat the muffin!? – and mumbled: “Do you want to talk about it?”

Sam flushed the crumbles in his mouth down with the coffee. It really tasted like Christmas! Maybe because of the cinnamon in it.

“Yes. I’m just… Blaine, I need to tell you that... I’m… I think…”

Oh God. If he told Blaine about his bisexuality he would either not believe him or even worse: he would run away because he thought Sam being bi would make it a duty for them to be together. Sam didn’t want Blaine to think that. Yeah, he wanted to be with him but not if Blaine didn’t want to. And it shouldn’t be awkward between them. And it would be if Sam told him, wouldn’t it?

“I think… I... am…” 

Blaine nodded encouragingly and suddenly Sam saw a way out of this disaster.

“In love with Marley.”

Blaine kept on nodding as if that wasn’t any surprise to him. How could he think that? Sam hadn’t even talked very much to Marley before this week. He laid back and listened in disbelieve as Blaine talked about how he and Marley would make a cute couple, yadda, yadda. His head was spinning around. That was it, Sam Evans. Mission: not fulfilled. Level: minus fifty! It could’ve been so easy, my friend! Tell him you’re bi and keep making hints and using words from the letters. But nooo you screwed up. Big time.

-

_November 29_ _th_ _, Friday: 26 days until Christmas_

Soul mate. Kurt was his soul mate. You couldn’t leave a person like that. And Blaine didn’t even want to leave. He wanted to make it better. Put effort into it. The only problem was… he had done so much already. He didn’t know what more he could do. And Kurt never returned it. He had agreed to marry and then gone to New York and they hadn’t had a deep conversation since then. Or a conversation longer than five minutes. They hadn’t had one when Kurt had been in Lima, too. Kurt had surprised Blaine with a song – oh, good times! – and Blaine had thought they’d talk about their past issues but it hadn’t happened.

And now those letters who spoke of desire and sweet things and… oh.

Wait. That movie Blaine had seen on Wednesday! The people in there had found their soul mate with the help of the Universe. Of course! Blaine just had to trust a Higher Power and it would show him what to do. Or rather with whom he should be.

_Kurt can you please write your name in a copy of Pride And Prejudice and then sell it to an unspecified book store?_ Blaine hesitated before he hit send. This sounded like a madman’s request. But sometimes it felt crazy to do the right thing so… yeah. Send. Now when he was in New York and walked into a book store to buy a copy and Kurt’s name would be in it… He’d know!

But how could he get a sign that told him to be with his mysterious letter writer? Maybe Blaine should find out who it was first. Just when he thought about the possibilities his phone buzzed.

_Blaine, it’s me, Sam! Can I come 2 u?_ Blaine quickly texted back  _Maybe later I’m really busy_ and set his phone aside to keep on thinking. There was a really cute guy in his Spanish class. He sat in front of Blaine and sometimes turned around to make fun of their teacher. Now Blaine never joined in because the teacher was Mr Schue and he just couldn’t do that. 

Who else? 

His phone buzzed.

_What r u busy with? It’s Friday nite_

Blaine rolled his eyes. Sam would come over tomorrow for their baking session so what sense would it make for him to come now, too? Except when he wanted to sleep over but they hadn’t done this in a long time and Blaine was sure Sam wanted to spend some time with his new girlfriend, wouldn’t he?

_I have vanilla cookies original from carol! I could stay the nite if you want me 2_

Blaine smiled to himself. Sometimes Sam seemed to be able to read thoughts. No word about Marley and it was Sam’s decision, right? Blaine wrote back that he could come and then made a list of boys who possibly were crushing on him.

Michael from Spanish. John from History. This boy from Geography who sometimes burrowed his ruler. No. Or yes? How could he tell? He had to watch them in class next week.

“Decent or not I’m coming in!”

Blaine jumped in his seat and his heart raced.

“Do you have to frighten me like that, man?”

“Sorry!” Sam didn’t seem sorry at all with his bright grin. He held up a bottle of Coke and a plastic box.

“Are you ready to get high on sugar, babe?”

“Sugar babe?” Blaine returned the grin while Sam threw the things plus a bag he had brought on the bed and came to Blaine’s desk.

“I’m – don’t!” 

Blaine put a book on his list. Sam tried to push it away and Blaine knew he shouldn’t but he enjoyed the following banter way too much. Eventually he let Sam see the list. He nodded and approved.

“Yeah, sure, they could totally be it. You should stalk them to see if they put those letters into your locker.”

“It’s always _on_ my locker. Like they don’t want to intrude my privacy.”

“Oh my, now it’s getting to your head.”

Blaine grinned and threw a glance at his phone. Kurt hadn’t answered yet. But who cared. As long as Sam was here it was a bit easier to not worry who loved Blaine and with whom he should spend the rest of his life. Sometimes he thought he was making too big of a fuss about that. He was young and should live in the moment instead of worrying, right?

“Now Blaine, I got some serious questions for you”, Sam said as he sat down on the bed and opened the cookies box. Blaine settled down next to him and took the offered pastry.

“Like?”

“Do you believe in God?”

Blaine almost chocked on his cookies. He quickly drank some coke and frowned at Sam.

“Do I believe in God? That’s… why do you want to know that?”

“Because I don’t know it. There’s so much I don’t know about you. Let’s change that.”

Blaine took a few more moments to stare disbelievingly at Sam. But the blond seemed to be serious and also waited for an answer so Blaine cleared his throat.

“Well. If you have to know… yes. I believe in a Higher Power. Funny that you asked me now because I just thought about that. I think I should ask for some signs who my true soul mate is.”

“I – I thought that was Kurt? You _know_ it is him, right?”

“I’m… yes, of course! It’s just…” Blaine sighed. He didn’t like to have those doubts. It was all the fault of the letters. He cursed the writer but that didn’t undo it.

“He is so distant and when I’m honest he has been like that for some time. Maybe there’s someone out there who would appreciate me more. If I can ask for that.” Blaine shrugged and took another cookie.

“I get the appreciation part but what about love and your connection? It’s a once in a lifetime thing or at least you said so all the time during your proposal plans when I tried to talk you out of it.”

Sam drank from the bottle and closed it, eyes never leaving Blaine’s.

“And what about gay marriage? It’s allowed now!”, he added.

“I haven’t thought explicitly about it, okay?” Blaine got up from the bed and put his hands into his pockets. Suddenly it sounded so silly to decide for marriage just because it was allowed. Straight people could use that as well but how stupid would that be? Oh, let us marry because we are allowed to. Yeah. Silly.

“Okay, okay! You don’t have to know it right now. Come on, eat another cookie, come ooon!”

The cookies were really good so Blaine couldn’t say no. He sat back and they talked about ideas how to ask for signs. Sam agreed with Blaine’s view that there was something out there and that it was good and helpful so Blaine’s mood lifted a bit and his hopes returned. Yeah, he would get his answers soon, he was sure of it.

-

_December 1_ _st_ _, 1_ _st_ _Advent Sunday: 24 days until Christmas_

Unfortunately Sam hadn’t been able to spent all weekend at Blaine’s but sometimes a man had to sacrifice a few hours with his loved one in order to actually win them over. Saturday night he had thought about how he could continue the letter mission. He saw it now: It had to end with a revelation and it would be on Christmas. Highly romantic and highly stupid because if Blaine said no Christmas would be ruined. But Sam was willing to take that risk.

This Sunday he had to be in school because of their baking booth on the Advent fair. Mr Schue had given them a schedule when they had to be there and Sam’s time was one pm. That gave him enough time to arrange something first.

“Sparkles? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure, Marley. What do you have against sparkles? It glitters! It’s romantic.”

Marley pulled a face as she watched the colourless envelope in her hand. 

“And why is it white? Blaine will think it’s someone else!”

“Hey, I corrected your letter, printed it and clothed it, so don’t complain! I happen to be out of pink envelopes. And I don’t have sparkles. Anyway, it’s clothed already, see?”

Sam groaned. No, this wouldn’t do. But he had an idea. Maybe the art room was open today, they would have glittery things and hopefully pink envelopes there, right?

The school was full of old people and children, parents and relatives. Sam’s host parents had to be here somewhere, too, but all he saw at this moment were Blaine’s parents. They were sauntering along the booths without his best friend/love interest. 

“Let’s meet in the art room”, Sam said.

Marley sighed but agreed. When she asked what time and Sam said now she insisted they could walk there together. His ‘Ryder could kill him argument’ didn’t seem to interest her. Sam also didn’t want Blaine to see them together although this probably wouldn’t change anything anyhow. But soon he would learn the truth and nothing but the truth, so help him God.

Apropos. Sam wondered whether the Universe would give Blaine any signs to tell him Sam was his true love. Although… what if he wasn’t? What if Blaine and Kurt actually were meant to be and all he did now was destroying them?

“Shit. Stop. We can’t go on.”

Marley rolled her eyes, grasped his arm and dragged him through people. 

“No! This isn’t _right_! Blaine had been so…” Sam realised he was screaming and lowered his voice. “He had been so sure about Kurt. All the time. Only the letters make him questioning it now and that’s just wrong. Who am I to interfere and tear them apart!?”

“You are doing nothing wrong. You fight for someone you’re in love with. But it’s still Blaine’s choice. If he decides against Kurt then maybe it wasn’t what he always thought it was. Things can change, you know?”

“But I’m just… I’m just me. Why would he… he doesn’t even _like_ me that way anymore. If he ever really did!”

They reached the art room and Marley pushed down the handle. It was closed.

“That’s a sign! Oh my God!”

“Would you stop freaking out? I can ask the janitor. When I tell him I forgot something important I need to work on at home he will open it.”

“No! Soul mates, Marley!”

He took the letter from her and stormed away without looking back. The letter came into his locker and then Sam went to the baking booth to found that Blaine was here, sitting between Ryder and Jake who’s turn it was to sell and helping them although he was scheduled for later.

“Hey guys”, he said as he slipped behind the booth. Only Blaine greeted him with a smile (a fabulous smile that got Sam a bit excited) the others didn’t even turn around. They also weren’t speaking to each other. Since there wasn’t any chairs left Sam placed himself behind Blaine and put his hands on his shoulders. Sam could feel his own heartbeat rushing through his hands as Blaine shortly turned his head and smiled again. Wow, he could really light up the whole world with it! Sam gently massaged his shoulders and then let one finger glide over the skin right above his collar. Blaine sighed and leaned against it while Sam’s guts caught fire. 

How was he allowed to do that? So cool. Now Blaine put his left hand up and laid it on Sam’s calm right one, pressing it lightly. Okay… breathe, Sam, breathe. Don’t let it get to your head or… other body parts. Well, it was just a bit of skin contact so not very erotic stuff. But somehow Sam really had trouble keeping up his breathing. Yeah, okay... maybe he should give Blaine another letter. That was the only way Sam could express his feelings and boy, they needed to be expressed.

“Since you’re already here I assume you can’t wait to sell cookies. Bye.”

Ryder was gone before Sam could answer anything. Very reluctantly he let go of Blaine and sat down on Ryder’s former chair where he met Jake’s gaze.

“What?”

“Is it true? You and Marley?”

Sam raised his eyebrows. Somehow it was funny to tease Jake (and Ryder, he so deserved it!) a bit. But he wouldn’t lie again and so he shook his head.

“We’re not a couple.”

“Wait, what? I thought you were”, Blaine said.

“But you’re after her?”, Jake asked.

“Why? Would you mind? I mean you cheated and don’t really seem to regret it…” While on it Sam could find out some stuff. Maybe Marley would appreciate it. Coming to think of it they never spoke about her, only about Sam’s love life. Huh, seemed a bit unbalanced.

“Well… I don’t know. First I wanted her back but then I realised… it didn’t just happen. I needed… I’m a Puckerman, Sam. I thrive on chicks. I tell you one thing. If you date her you need to be able to go a long time without sex. And with long I mean years. Maybe even wait until your wedding night. Not that I’m saying you’re going to marry her. Just be aware of that.”

“Uhm. Okay.” Sam’s cheeks felt a bit warm and he didn’t dare to look at Blaine. “Thanks for the advice.”

Jake nodded. “I actually would like to see her rather with you than with Ryder. Can you believe him? The moment Marley and I were over he jumps into action as if he just had waited for this.” Jake snorted, shook his head and got up. He shortly patted Sam’s shoulder and went away. 

Blaine moved to sit on his chair and served upcoming costumers. They were busy dealing with people for the next half an hour and as they had a moment without customers Blaine leaned back and stretched his arms. Just when Sam opened his mouth to ask if he already had gotten any signs from the Universe someone tipped against his shoulder. Next thing he knew some sweet perfume climbed into his nose and Marley bent down to him.

“I got it! Where’s the letter?”, she whispered.

“Oh, uhm…” Sam bit his lip and threw a glance to Blaine. Damn, of course he watched. Shit, really, Marley, _now and here_? 

Sam quickly got up and pulled her a few feet away.

“In my locker. The combination is 2156. If you want to we can talk about your love life as well later but… can you slap me right now?”

“Uhm… what?”

“Slap me and scream that you never want to see me again?”

Marley’s eyes flickered behind Sam and she understood.

“Twenty-one fifty-six you said?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then… I’m sorry.” 

She really didn’t have to hit  _that_ hard after all he had never done her any harm. 

“How could you do that! I’m done with you!”

Sam nodded as he held his cheek. It had sounded convincing enough. She stormed away and Blaine was immediately at his side.

“Sam, you have to apologise!”

“ _What_? No! I’m… I’m in pain here, okay?”

Sam sat down and pulled a pouting face. Blaine should be  _glad_ about this, come on! Although of course no one ever said he still liked Sam. He probably didn’t. Maybe Sam should in fact consider going out with Marley instead. 

Blaine served a couple who looked curiously at Sam’s cheek. The man smirked while the woman just shook her head. Sam ignored them and when they were gone Blaine sat down next to him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Whatever you did, it can be undone.”

“No. It’s better this way.”

“But… Sam, don’t give up that fast. You deserve to be with the person you are in love with!”

Sam turned his head. “I do?”

“Yes. You’re kind and good hearted, anyone would be lucky to be with you. I know you have some competition but don’t let that drag you down. If she is smart she will chose you because you are nice and cute and…” 

Blaine stopped and bit his lip. 

“But what if she is meant for Ryder? Soul mates and everything”, Sam said. He held his breath. If Blaine only knew what he asking was actually about him and Kurt, oh, if he only knew.

“I’m far from being an expert on this topic, believe me. But I think that whatever is meant to be will happen. You can only wait and see but don’t give up.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thank you.” Sam leaned forwards to hug Blaine. He buried his nose in his neck and took a deep breath. Okay, so it wasn’t over. Of course it wasn’t, he had never really thought that. 

-

Blaine’s parents bought a bag of vanilla crescents.

“If you had said something we would’ve given you some”, Blaine said while Sam took the money.

“Oh, but this money goes to charity, doesn’t it?”, his mother said.

“Half, half”, Sam said. “We also need money to drive to competitions and stuff.”

“Do you need a ride home later?”, Blaine’s father asked Sam.

“No, my hosties are here. But thanks.”

Blaine’s mother pointed out something about textiles so they went on. Blaine gave some more cookies bags to customers and threw a look at Sam’s cheek from time to time. It was awfully red. But could he possibly have done that  _Marley_ of all people hit him that strong?

Eventually their shift ended and Unique and Marley came to take over. Blaine could practically feel the tension between them as Sam got up and gave Marley a look. She didn’t even look furious anymore. Instead she slightly nodded. That was bit odd but maybe she was so in love with Sam that she already had forgiven him.

“Come on, let’s take a look around, shall we?”, Sam said as they strolled away. He sounded high spirited but Blaine knew it was all pretend to cover up his pain about the fight. He locked arms with Sam as they went with the crowd and looked at handmade puppets, gingerbread houses and figures of Santa Clause with his sledge. Some music players had been set up and ensured even more Christmas spirit. Blaine was only glad the Glee club didn’t have to perform today.

Sam took back his arm to closely observe a porcelain reindeer while Blaine thought the card with Santa and his bosky beard was quite funny. 

“What do you want for Christmas?”

Blaine put back the yule card and looked up.

“You don’t have to get me anything.”

“I didn’t say I would.”

Sam smirked and suddenly Blaine couldn’t take his eyes from his lips. One side was still redder then the other but they looked delicious nonetheless.  _A kiss from you._ Blaine fought the urge to lean forward and caress Sam’s mouth with his own. He forced himself to look up into Sam’s eyes and was hit by the cold realisation of Marley and Kurt.

“Or what do you want from Kurt? Maybe he’ll call me and asks for advice.”

“What?” Oh, yeah, they were talking about presents. Blaine shrugged it off and started walking to the next booth. Just a remainder of his former crush on Sam. Well… What would he want to get from Kurt?

“To be honest I’d be glad if he just took the time to be with me”, Blaine said. 

“But what else? What if he would be the perfect boyfriend, came here for Christmas and kiss you under mistletoes and stuff. What present would you want… from your boyfriend?”

“I have to think about that”, Blaine said. “The more important question is: What should I get _him_?”

“But you’re constantly thinking about what you could do for him. What do you want for yourself?”

“Sam, this is really not your place to ask, okay? It’s… private matter!”

“What? No, it isn’t. You always tell me about your feelings so why not –”

Blaine stopped and interrupted him.

“No, I don’t. Not in all matters and certainly not about what I want from Kurt, that’s between me and him, okay?”

Sam turned around and frowned.

“But on Friday –”

“No!”

Blaine shook his head. He had had enough, he wanted to go home. Where were his parents? 

As he went around looking for them he calmed down and wondered what had triggered his anger. Was it because Sam had reminded Blaine of how he didn’t come around to think about his wishes? Yeah, must be it. It had sounded as if it was Kurt’s fault… and anyway, Sam was in no position to ask stuff like that! Blaine had told him way too much on Friday, too much about his dreams and desires and... Not that it was a bad thing. But Kurt should be the one hearing this. Kurt should be the one  _asking_ all those questions! When was the last time they had spoken about personal things? 

Oh my God, that had been somewhere around the time Kurt had graduated. When Blaine had been anxious to get left behind and they had fought. He shook his head and tried not to think about it. Where were his parents!?

Blaine leaned against some lockers in the full hallway, got out his phone and sent his mother a text. Then he sighed. No reason to get all worked up. Things with Kurt soon would come together. He watched the people, expecting to find his parents. Then his eyes fell on a locker – his own locker to be specific – and his heart stopped.

There was another letter.

His heart took up beating again and pretty fast, too. A letter – more like a treat! He could so use this right now. Oh wow.

Blaine took it (red today!) and didn’t let it out of sight as his phone buzzed. He made his way to his parents who were waiting for him in front of the school. He also send a short text to Sam  _I’m on my way home_ and then closed both his hands around the letter.

He didn’t say a word in the car and immediately run to his room when they arrived. There he closed the door and sat crossed-legged on his bed, staring at the envelope in his hands. He wanted nothing more than read it and feel the effects those words had on him. But wasn’t that the proof that something with his personal life wasn’t right? How desperate was he to cling to anonymous letters that as well could come from Mr Douglas or the janitor? 

Was Kurt not the one who made him happy and would fulfil him until the end of time?

In that moment his phone buzzed and Blaine jerked up. He got it out and was on his way to put it onto the bedside table when he saw that the message was from Kurt, not as expected from Sam. So he opened it.

_What?_

Blaine frowned. After days without talking or texting that was all Kurt sent him? But… he couldn’t read minds and now reacted to Blaine’s blasphemy questioning of their relationship? Blaine shortly looked to the ceiling (‘ what kind of sign is this supposed to be? ’) and then texted back.  _What what?_

_I will not write my name in a book and then sell it have you taken something?_

Blaine let out a relieved sigh and leaned back. Kurt was answering to that! Wow. But he wouldn’t do it. What a surprise. Suddenly Blaine felt rebellious and he put the phone away without answering. If Kurt could take his time so could he. And he had a secret admirer waiting for him who would sweeten his day.

First a few sparkling confetti’s fell out of the envelope and Blaine had to chuckle. Well, they were creative to be sure. So he could dismiss Mr Douglas, what a relief! 

“Dear Blaine. Happy First Advent! I hope you enjoy this day like you should enjoy every day of your life. I wish I could take you out today and buy you coffee. Share a muffin with you. In the evening we would cuddle up in front of a fireplace and talk about anything you want. Every second with you is more worth than every year I lived without you. My dear, I wished I could confess you my love in person but I’m afraid you would push me away. Your secret admirer.”

Blaine couldn’t help but smile. He read the letter a few times more and when it was time to go to sleep he put it under his pillow. Yeah. Something was wrong with him, wasn’t it?


	4. Ice-skating and Signs from Above

_December 2_ _nd_ _, Monday: 23 days until Christmas_

White flakes were falling from an almost whiter sky. Sam was tempted to just stand here and observe it. How was it that snow made everything quieter even when a street was close by? The trees turned white and the people passing by glittered. They hit under their beanies and behind their scarfs and hurried to get into the next warm building. 

Sooner or later he had to enter the school, too. Inside he stuffed his wet winter clothes into his locker and silently greeted day-to-day life. Oh another Monday. 

“Hey Sam! How are you?”

A grinning Blaine opened his locker a few feet away.

Sam raised his eyebrows.

“You’re in a good mood!”

“And why wouldn’t I be? It’s a new day, a new week full of opportunities! _And_ it’s Christmas! How much better could life become?”

Sam made an impressed face and leaned against his locker.

“You drank too much coffee, am I right?”

“No, Sam. I’m happy. To you it might seem like I’m crazy because lately I haven’t been really happy.”

“Oh.” Sam shrugged. “Well, I’m glad you are now! Any special reason or…?”

Hopefully nothing about Kurt. Sam wouldn’t be able to take this. Not after Blaine had yesterday groused at him how he held back his feelings and Sam wasn’t supposed to know them anyhow. 

“Maybe”, Blaine smirked. 

Sam waited for more but nothing came. So he turned to his locker and puckered his lips. Of course. He was only Blaine’s best friend, yeah, why should they  _talk_ about things. Right.

He loudly closed his locker. 

“If you ever feel like letting me know…”, he said as he shouldered his bag. When he passed Blaine he hit him lightly with his shoulder. Just because he was cute and held Sam’s hearts in his hands didn’t mean he could treat him like that. 

With that mood he sat down in his English class and understandably wasn’t very happy when Ryder took the seat next to him.

“Listen, Sam. I’m sorry about that.” He gestured to Sam’s lip. 

“I don’t even know what I was thinking. Marley had told me long ago she didn’t want me. I don’t know, when it was over with Jake I thought… that I maybe could get another chance. But hey, okay, it’s her choice, I get it and…” He took a deep breath and managed to smile at Sam. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Is this supposed to make me happy now?”

Ryder frowned. “Hey, that wasn’t easy for me, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever”, Sam mumbled and opened his notebook. They could all think what they wanted. Truth was Blaine would never love him, Kurt or no Kurt. The world was a mean, rotten place.

“I hope you all did your homework”, Mr Mosby began while looking at Sam. Strangely enough, Sam had done it. Not that it mattered since he still had some detentions to participate in.

Mr Mosby gathered the homework and talked about something. Sam glanced to Ryder and when he was sure he didn’t saw it pulled out his phone.  _No more mitings no more letters_ he wrote to Marley. There, he broke it off with her. Ryder would be glad to know.

_Why_

Wow, that girl really didn’t like texting, did she?  _Because he will never love me end of story. farital gone bad_

_Meet me after school_

Sam rolled his eyes and wrote back  _no I mean it_

_I buy you cinnamon coffee_

Oh. Well, it couldn’t hurt to tell her in person, could it?

-

“Are you mad at me?”

Blaine put his tray on the table and sat down. Sam just shrugged.

“Are you surprised? All this time I thought we were best friends and now all of a sudden you tell me that you _don’t_ tell me everything. What am I supposed to think about that?”

“Oh, Sam, I just meant… I was just angry because I realised I haven’t talked to Kurt in a long time.”

“No. You said it wasn’t ‘my place’ to ask you what you want for Christmas. Well, I get it.”

“But you _don’t_ get it! It wasn’t about the present. It was because Kurt hadn’t asked me. Believe me, I didn’t… Sam, of cause you can ask me whatever you want!”

“Oh yeah? Then tell me why you were so happy this morning.”

Blaine pushed his fork into some goulash and puckered his lips.

“It’s ridiculous. Promise you won’t laugh.”

“I won’t”, Sam said. Seriously, Blaine knew that!

“I got another letter yesterday”, Blaine said and when he looked up his eyes were shining. “It’s so romantic and sweet! I wish I knew the person. Do you believe one can fall in love just via letters?”

Sam’s stomach turned his insides out and he couldn’t move. But Blaine didn’t expect an answer, he simply talked on.

“I know it can be anybody and that it’s probably just the fantasy of a perfect love that I like so much. What can I say, I love romance! And then I didn’t text Kurt back and he didn’t even complain. I think… I mean not because of the letters, okay, but I think I overestimated Kurt a little bit.”

Sam let his mouth fall open. Was Blaine considering breaking up with Kurt? That’s what he just said, right? Right?

“Does that mean…”, Sam asked.

“Yes! It means I’m gonna say it out lout. _Tell_ him that I want more romance!”

“Oh. Uhm. Good”, Sam managed to say. 

“The letters really were eye-openers.”

“What if you met the person and it’s someone you could like in real life?”

“It’s not about who I like…”

Sam put down his fork and turned more to Blaine, speaking quietly but vividly.

“What if you could _love_ them?”

The sparkle was gone from Blaine’s eye as he looked up and met Sam’s gaze.

“Why do you always want me to break up with Kurt? Don’t you like him?”

“It’s not that I want you to break up with him. I want you to choose someone you makes you really, really happy. Like you were this morning. That’s what love should be about, not clinging on to someone because they are supposedly your soul mate.”

“Woah!” Blaine leaned back and raised his hands. “You didn’t just say that. Sam, you have _no idea_ about the connection Kurt and I share. So don’t you dare judge me and my choices, alright?”

He got up and left without taking his tray or having touched his food. 

Sam stared at his own plate. Did this mean he should continue or stop the letters? They motivated Blaine to talk to Kurt, oh, how great. But then again… hadn’t Blaine tried that already since a long time? Why on earth did he think now it would make a difference? Sam would give pretty much to know what Kurt actually thought and felt.

-

“I _just_ don’t get it. First he talks about how he doubts Kurt. Then he defends him like his own life and storms out. He is so moody… like a girl. No offense.”

“None taken.”

Marley stirred her coffee while Sam leaned back in his armchair and watched the surroundings. He had been here with Blaine just a few days ago. Then he had mentioned it in the letter as inconspicuously as he could but either Blaine hadn’t gotten it or hadn’t let his suspicion show. 

“And what does Kurt think about all that? He said yes to Blaine and then never talks to him because he is busy with his life? Why… well, why the effort of getting engaged at all?”

“I don’t claim to know the motives of any boys”, Marley said.

“Oh. Yeah. Jake or… Ryder?”

See, Sam didn’t only speak of his own problems! He could be helpful as well. Or at least listen.

“Both and none of them. I mean…” She shrugged. “Ryder is coming on very fast but I need more time. I don’t always have to date, do I? Jake just… I don’t know…”

Oh gosh, she looked like she was about to cry, why did girls  _always_ have to cry? What was Sam supposed to do? He grasped his napkin and waited for the opportunity to give it to her. But Marley sniffed, wiped over her eyes and shook her head. Then she straightened her shoulders.

“No more crying about boys, right? He’s not worth it.”

Sam nodded. He was just glad he wasn’t in love with a playboy. Although he had never really viewed Jake like that. Okay, in the beginning he had dated Kitty and had been a bit more chauvinistic but then he had turned into a fine young gentleman. Strange how things could change so fast and then change back.

“I have to confess something”, Marley said. She looked regretful at Sam who frowned. She hadn’t told Blaine about the letters, had she?

“I kind of made Ryder believe I like you so he would leave me alone. I said he should respect my choices and stuff like that. I’m sorry.”

“Dude, you had every right to say that. I mean you shouldn’t have to lie to get him to do that but whatever. He apologised to me today so I guess you made your point clear.”

Marley giggled and nodded. 

“So, about Blaine and Kurt…?”

“Yes. Here’s what you should do, except from keep on writing letters.” Marley leaned forward and raised a finger. “Apologise to Blaine and support him in Kurt matters.”

“What? Dude, that’s…. not really serving my purpose here?”

“It is, believe me! It’s not like you can take this decision from him. _He_ has to know whether he wants Kurt or you. But if you try to talk him out of his recent relationship he will just feel resentment towards you. You have to show him you only want his best. Because that’s what you want, isn’t it?

Sam stared out of the window where people with shopping bags were rushing by.

“Yes, of course. But… what if I tell him to fight for Kurt and it works?”

“From what I know I don’t think this is very likely. I mean, Blaine has fought for a long time already and it’s still not how he wants it to be, is it? It’s only a matter of time until he realises there’s no sense in going on like that. And who will he turn to then…?”

Sam waggled his head. Hopefully she was right…

Marley leaned back in her chair.

“So. What will you get him for Christmas? Or should I say revelation day?”

“I _so_ don’t know. It has to be perfect. _Perfect_!” To emphasize the importance of the matter Sam dashed his hand on the table. It reminded him a bit of that slap Marley had given him. He glared at her for that but she just raised her eyebrows.

“Okay, but what?”

“That I’ll have to think about. I will make a list, like, what does Blaine Anderson love? Except Kurt. Do you think he likes reindeers? Because everybody likes them, right?”

Marley frowned. “I don’t.”

“You don’t like reindeers.” Sam was on the edge of laughing but she looked so serious so maybe this hadn’t been a joke. But it had to be one.

“It’s just ordinary deer with an extra syllable for the sake of Christmas. Who falls for that?”

Sam opened his mouth. What the…  _what_ ? But then he smirked.

“You’re joking with me, right? Very funny, ha ha. Okay. I’ll go home now to make the B.A. list. Thanks for the coffee though.” 

-

_December 3_ _rd_ _, Tuesday: 22 days until Christmas_

Since the fantastic idea to write a letter to Mr Anon had been crashed by the fact Blaine didn’t know where to leave it his high spirits had calmed down a bit. He had realised that he should stop indulging in fantasies. It had been the same thing a few months ago with Sam. He had been so close but so unreachable and Blaine had projected all his romantic wishes onto him. Not very healthy. But now he had Kurt back. So why wasn’t it better than before?

“Please Universe or God or… please. Send me a sign, one sign that Kurt is the right one and I will do anything to make it work with him. Please.”

Blaine stared into the white sky that silently sent more and more snowflakes to earth. Then he grabbed his bag from the passenger seat and got out of the car. When he closed the door and turned around a little Beagle jumped up his legs and barked. Blaine cowered down and petted him while he looked around for the owner. Soon a woman hurried to him.

“Oh God, Sam! Here you are… I’m so sorry. Normally he doesn’t just run off. Sorry”, the woman said as she took up the dog. He barked again.

“His name is Sam?”

She apologised again and vanished between the students in front of the school. Blaine shot a glance to the skies.

“I don’t understand this sign”, he mumbled. “I asked about Kurt.”

Blaine sighed. This was how madness started, seeing signs everywhere. No, he shouldn’t read too much into it.

In school he took of his hat and scarf and put it into his locker. No new letter.

The day went on very slowly. Blaine had enough time to feel bad for grousing at Sam yesterday. After all he just wanted Blaine to be happy and not everybody had a friend like that who rather risked anger than keeping quiet. And it was true that Sam didn’t know about Kurt and him, yes, but Blaine started to wonder if he knew it better himself. Kurt hadn’t answered yesterday. They really needed to talk about things. Blaine needed to know why he had said yes when he made no effort whatsoever to keep the romance between them alive.

After a class he met Sam at the lockers and hesitated to go to him. But then Sam met his eyes without resentment and Blaine’s legs moved on their own.

“Hey. Have you talked to Kurt yet?”, Sam asked. “Because I think you should, I really do. I’m sorry for yesterday. I don’t know anything about you two. I hope it will work out, Blaine.”

A smile emerged from deep within and Blaine’s heart opened up. He laid his hands on it and nodded.

“Thank you, Sam. I’m sorry too, I had no right to talk to you like that.”

“It’s okay, I get it. Just… don’t be mad at me.”

“I am not! Sam!” Blaine tilted his head and watched his friend’s cute face.

“Hug it out?”

Of course Blaine hadn’t anything against a hug. It seemed to fill up his energy and he could go through the rest of the day a bit easier. And when he left school without another letter he wasn’t very disappointed. Just a little bit. Hopefully tomorrow.

-

_December 4_ _th_ _, Wednesday: 21 days until Christmas_

Sam checked his WikiHow list. He could be really proud about keeping track of two hard points: Supporting Blaine, and giving him freedom and space. Supporting normally wasn’t difficult but when it was about Kurt it took some overcoming for Sam. To send him right into his lover’s arms… but oh well. 

Now he needed a perfect gift. What could he give Blaine for Christmas? At the same time it was the gift he would give him when he revealed himself so it should be romantic. Oh gosh! He really and truly could buy a romantic gift for Blaine now! Wow!

“It needs to be perfect, like made for him and lighten up his spirits and make him smile so bright that the sun gets all jealous. Not too expensive but I also don’t want to be stingy. Maybe it should be related to music or what do you think? No, no music, bad idea. Well, how about that!” 

Sam really didn’t like it that Marley wouldn’t stop and kept on walking. After all he needed his energy for talking. He cut into her way and made a gesture with his arms.

“I write down every little detail I love about him in a notebook and then I write ‘The Notebook’ on it, like the movie, get it, and that’s it. Isn’t that romantic?”

”Sure!”

“But?”

“I’m late to class, Sam!”

She rounded him and went away.

“My problems are more important than school!”, he called after her.

“Nope. That’s not how you gonna keep her”, Ryder said. Sam turned to him.

“It’s all about her, Sam, not about your problems,” Ryder said.

“Dude! You want to give me advice about Marley now? Really?”

Ryder pulled a face. “Okay then, go on and screw it up.”

“I will, thank you very much. On another topic… What do you think Blaine would want for Christmas?”

“You would know best, man.”

Ryder started to go away probably because the hallways were almost empty and he had a class. But Sam’s issue was so much more important and when he couldn’t drag Marley into it, maybe Ryder could help. 

“But I’m too biased and wouldn’t know if it’s the perfect gift or totally nonsense.”

“Just give him a DVD or something.”

Sam grasped Ryder’s arm to keep him from going.

“That won’t do. It should express my appreciation and love.”

Ryder shook his head.

“What would you give Marley for Christmas?”, Sam asked.

“What, now you want me to help you? She’s _your_ girlfriend!”

“No, she is not! Aren’t you listening to me? I want to show my love to _Blaine_.”

Ryder’s eyes flew open. “What?”

“Exactly! I need suggestion, I need themes, I need ideas! Come on!”

Sam gestured his friend to think but all he did was stare at him.

“Well, you have my number, Ryder, so if something comes to your mind…”

Sam made a ‘call me’ gesture and went into another direction. He glanced back after a few seconds, wondering it Ryder had gotten it. He should’ve said more meaningful things. But Ryder wasn’t the kind of guy who could deal with big words. Hopefully he had at least realised what Sam has been talking about.

-

_December 6_ _th_ _, Friday: 19 days until Christmas_

No letter the whole week. Blaine’s fingers were shaking a bit as he opened his locker for the fourth time today without having received a letter. He wanted one. He wanted to read lovely lines and drown in the sugary feeling they radiated. He wanted to feel like he was covered from head to toe with syrup and Sam licked it from him with so much gusto… 

Woah, wait. Sam? Blaine narrowed his eyes and put his Spanish book next to his Algebra book. Kurt of course. Why had he thought of Sam? But it didn’t matter. No letter today and school was out now. 

When he was dressed to go outside he took out his phone that had buzzed during his last class and read the text.  _No movie today we do something else. surprise! meet me @hudmels_

When Burt let Blaine into the house Sam came running down the stairs, fully dressed with hat, winter jacket and gloves.

“Don’t even think about undressing! We’re going now! Bye Burt!”

He was out of the door before Blaine could even blink. He gave Burt a confused glance but Kurt’s father only laughed.

The trees and rooftops were white, though the sidewalks and streets were grey and sludgy already. But it didn’t matter, the beauty was bigger than the ugliness. 

“Can we take your car?”, Sam called from a few feet in front of Blaine.

“Sure! But…” Blaine jogged to catch up and when they arrived the car his breathing clouds came a bit faster than normal. “Where are we going?”

“I want to take you ice skating.”

“Oho, you want to take me? Is this a date, Sam Evans?”

Sam laughed. He was cute with his red nose and red cheeks but Blaine didn’t know what had driven him to say something like that. Then Sam smirked and said “Maybe” and Blaine’s brain froze as if there was a whole in his head through that snow could enter. He rounded the car and opened it.

-

There was a little ice rink in the city and on Friday night it was, of course, especially crowded. They just could glide along with many other people, round and round the rink. Still, it was fun. Blaine laughed a lot and forgot all about… well, everything. It only came back to him when they exited the rink and brought back their ice-skates. Kurt and no letters. Both thoughts made Blaine feel that it couldn’t go on like that. He just wanted someone to care for him, why was that too much to ask?

He shot a reproachful look to the sky but no one answered him.

“Do you want to drink hot cacao or are you tired?”, Sam asked.

“No, I’m in for a drink.”

They went to one of the booths of the city’s Christmas fair and got hot chocolate in plastic cubs. Blaine watched little children standing in line for Santa, and next to his seat was an enclosure in that real reindeers stood. He nudged Sam and nodded to them.

“You want to go and pet them?”

“Oh! Reindeers!”

Sam hurried to them, the cub still in his hands. Blaine arrived a few seconds later and smiled down at some kids who tried to reach a reindeer through the gates.

“Do you want to have some?”

Blaine looked up. “Huh? Reindeers?”

“Kids”, Sam said.

“Uh, yeah. Someday. Why?”

“I just want to know.” Sam shrugged and kept on petting the animal. While Blaine took some hot sips Sam tried to talk the deer into coming a few steps closer for the children but it remained where it was. Eventually another one came looking and the children screamed loud because they could reach it. 

“Me, too”, Sam said as he took a few steps back. “Someday. First I want to become a famous rapper.”

Blaine almost choked on his cacao. “What? A rapper? Lil Evans?”

“Or guitar player. I want to earn some money before I start a family.”

“Sounds reasonable.” Blaine nodded. “I’d like to go to NYADA. But they only take the best of the best.”

“They’ll take you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do.”

Blaine smiled and looked to the ground. Sam sounded so sincere. Did he really think Blaine was that good? 

They strolled over the fair for a half an hour, then it got too cold and they drove back. When they were at Sam’s house Blaine put off the engine.

“Thank you, Sam. I needed this. To get away from all the pressure I’m under. All I can think about is whether Kurt really loves me or if I get another letter. But life happens out there, doesn’t it? Stop thinking and do stuff, right?”

“I’m glad you liked it”, Sam said. He returned Blaine’s look without smirking or laughing, just held Blaine’s eyes. Something in Blaine’s stomach rummaged. He didn’t realise he had moved forward until his shoulder barely touched the seat anymore and Sam’s face was a few inches away. Blaine gulped and although he continued breathing his lungs didn’t get full. Sam’s lips were red from the cold and looked so delicious and what would they taste like…? 

Suddenly Sam leaned back and stared out of the front window. He kneaded his hands. 

“Well, uhm, I better go. They will worry where I am.”

Blaine didn’t move for a moment, then leaned back and nodded. Oh my God! Had he really just almost  _kissed_ his  straight best friend? When he was with Kurt nonetheless? Shit, no, what a bad, bad person was he? That – oh God!

“Better, yeah.” Blaine cleared his throat. 

“Uhm. It was really nice.” Sam stretched out his hand. Blaine frowned but shook it and then his friend was gone and Blaine was alone in the car. He took a deep breath. 

“Oh holy crap.”

-

_December 7_ _th_ _, Saturday: 18 days until Christmas_

Dominance, authority and a strong determined will. Those were the things first on Sam’s wish list. Most of the time he cursed himself for backing away in the car like a frightened little girl. He should have kissed Blaine and told him what a lovely evening it had been and then exited the scene like a boss, leaving Blaine breathless and yearning for more.

Instead he had  _shaken his hand!!!_

But when his urge to scream at his mirror image faded he thought that he had acted pretty clever. There were three reasons why a kiss wouldn’t have been the best thing right now.

Number one. Blaine was still with Kurt and he would’ve killed himself if they had kissed. Sam couldn’t allow this, he still needed Blaine. 

Number two. It had been in a frickin’ car! Not very romantic. Unplanned kisses sometimes could be very romantic but fact remained that it should at least include mistletoes or a Christmas tree since it was the season. Anything else would be just silly.

But Number three was the most important one. Sam needed to reveal his love first. Blaine would’ve thought it meant nothing and had just happened. Sam wouldn’t have the nerve to talk about love after they already had kissed. Maybe Blaine would even think he made it up to help him feel better or something. No. He needed to build up more tension through the letters and then on Christmas Eve go to wherever the location of the truth was and stand there with a rose and a gift and Blaine would fall into his arms and stay forever.

Bamm. That was it. Easy, right?

His phone went but it wasn’t Blaine. Ryder:  _You could give him a gift card from wallmart!_

Sam frowned. What the…? No!

_Not romantic! How did you ever get a girlfriend?_

_I’m singl_

Oh, well, that explained a lot. But Sam didn’t write that of course. He was glad Ryder seemed to have gotten it and went back to thinking about Blaine. 

-

Blaine’s food tapped frantically against the floor. He had texted Kurt several time to  _please_ come online and now just sat here waiting. He couldn’t miss him. They needed to talk. They needed to rekindle their flame right now or Blaine would go crazy.

After another twenty minutes Blaine bit his lip and sighed. Kurt was probably in an important meeting – in New York weekends were non-existent, right? He could switch on the TV because his computer would make a noise anyhow if somebody came online on Skype.

He changed places. The very first programme Blaine watched showed a love couple. Of course. He imagined it was Kurt and him. Since the woman was smaller and black haired he decided Kurt was the man even when Kurt’s hair was darker. The couple walked through a winter landscape and talked about a baby, apparently she was pregnant. How cute! Blaine leaned back against his bed and put the remote control aside. Kurt would be online any minute now, wait and see, just wait and see, Blaine.

The movie was getting more romantic. They were in a house, exchanging gifts and Blaine hoped that one day Kurt would give him a silky scarf as well. Or anything, really. Oh and now they kissed, just as they would and…

“I love you, Sam”, the woman said. “You’re my true love, my soul mate.”

Blaine froze. In the next moment he grasped the remote control and switched off the TV, heart beating double-time. He should and would  _not_ think about Sam! Was that so hard to get? Was somebody up there teasing him? The Universe was supposed give him signs not heart attacks!

His computer beeped and Blaine almost stumbled over his feet as he hurried to it. But it was only Sebastian who was online now. Damn.

Blaine watched his phone, no texts. If Kurt was busy why hadn’t he told him so? It’s not like Blaine had nothing better to do than to wait for him. Except that he hadn’t. He couldn’t face Sam now. Not without apologising to Kurt first. Then he had to apologise to Sam, too, of course. Hopefully this wouldn’t destroy their friendship! 

And what if it did? Blaine would deserve it for being such a bad person. He couldn’t even understand why he had… almost…

Bleep! Now Rachel was online. Maybe she knew where Kurt was. Blaine double clicked her name and saw her looking down, typing, though now she looked up and smiled.

“Blaine! Hi! How are you?”

“Uhm, yeah, good. Is Kurt around or…? I really need to speak to him.”

“I’m sorry, he’s not here. He’s got so much on his plate with NYADA and the band. In fact I think he’s out to get a gig for the band! He’s really enthusiastic about it!”

“What band?”

“He started a band, hasn’t he told you? I’m in it as well and it’s really fun! And –”

Blaine interrupted her. “Please tell him to call me! It’s important. I need to go now.”

“Oh. Okay. I tell him! Have a nice day!”

“You too”, Blaine mumbled then he closed the window and went offline. Kurt had started a band. Kurt lived his life without worrying about Blaine. But nobody said he didn’t think of him. Maybe he missed him every second of the day. Maybe. Just… if this were the case wouldn’t he find an occasion to at least text from time to time?

When his phone buzzed –  _eg nog & Cinderella 2morow?_ – Blaine texted that he would be busy with homework and switched it off. In fact he switched off all devices and lay down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He didn’t need love. He could live without anybody, concentrate on his career and get rich. Have  _things_ instead of companionship. Wasn’t that a good goal?


	5. A Long Awaited Conversation

_December 8_ _th_ _, 2_ _nd_ _Advent Sunday: 17 days until Christmas_

Burt and Carol had created a very festive atmosphere in their living room with candles burning and warm cookies on a plate. And there was a Christmas movie running, something with snow and princesses. Sam watched it and ate and drank some egg-nog while he listened in to Carol talking to Finn on the phone. 

Everything was nice, really. But somehow Sam’s heart felt like a gaping whole. Okay, maybe not  _that_ dramatic but he was close to going to bed early. And that never was a good sign.

“Why don’t you ask Blaine to come over?”, Burt said out of the blue. “It’s a bit strange that you sit here all by yourself, not talking very much. Should I start to worry?”

“Nope. And he’s busy. With homework.”

“And are _you_ done with homework?”

“Yeah.”

No, he wasn’t. But it was the Second Advent and legally forbidden to do homework today. Blaine really should know better.

Carol had just finished talking when the phone rang again.

“Kurt!”, she exclaimed as she took the call. Sam narrowed his eyes and drank some more gulps from his punch. Most of the time he ignored the fact that he was living with Kurt’s parents. True, just a year ago Kurt had lived here but Finn had, too, and Sam had hung out more with him than with Blaine’s boyfriend. 

Speaking of Blaine. Did he really want to spend all day in his room, all by himself, when it was a Christmassy Sunday? It was time to nestle down in bed, eat and drink and enjoy the long evenings. Blaine felt probably bad about Friday and accused himself of every possible sin there was on earth. 

Sam got out his phone.  _offer still stands. u can’t do homwork all day long_

_I can and I will_

Woah there. Sam frowned at the text and couldn’t shake the feeling that it sounded a bit rough.  _U mad at me?_

_No_

_Then come over!_

No answer. Sam laid his phone on the table and drank the rest of his egg nog. There it went, the officially permitted amount of alcohol he could consume today.

Half an hour later the movie ended and Burt got up. Carol still talked to Kurt so Sam didn’t really know what he should do. Homework after all…? But then the doorbell rang and he strolled to it. On the commode in the hallway was a mini plastic Christmas tree with red, blue, yellow and green lights and every time Sam went by it it really lighten up his mood. Christmas spirit everywhere, yey!

Snowy air came in as he opened the door. Outside in the light of the door stood Blaine, hands in his jacket pockets and cheek red from the cold. Sam’s stomach fulfilled a loop as the other boy smiled and asked whether he could come in.

“Dude!” Not a very correct answer but Sam stepped back and opened the door more so Blaine came in. 

“I waited and waited, Sam, and he still hasn’t called. So I decided to not wait anymore.”

“Great, yeah, waiting isn’t fun. Do you want some egg nog? And Carol made cookies!”

Blaine took off his beanie and Sam hurried to the kitchen. Sure Burt would allow him a bit more egg nog because he couldn’t let Blaine drink alone! 

“Oh, it smells good!” Blaine came in and stood beside him. Their arms touched and Sam had to gulp. Act normal. He slid the glass to Blaine and filled his own. Then he turned around and watched Blaine’s face, eyes and lips and eyes again. 

“Here’s to us”, he whispered.

“Okay.”

They both drank a sip without breaking eye contact. Sam needed to kiss him now. His body would explode and his soul would cease to exist if it didn’t happen. But his plan. His plan!

He stepped back and grasped the cookie can.

“More calories! If I gain weight over Christmas you aren’t allowed to complain!”

“You know I wouldn’t, Sam.”

And his voice. So kind, soft and heavenly! Maybe Blaine was an angel that had come to earth to bring goodness to the world? If so he had already succeeded by just being who he was.

They had to go somewhere with people otherwise Sam would ruin his plan. He simply walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. He put the cookies and his glass on the table and sat down on the couch.

“Hi Blaine.” Carol waved, still on the phone. She got up and walked to the door but then she turned around just when Blaine had taken a place.

“Yes, of course, honey. Have a nice evening and we’ll talk again next week. Okay. Bye.” Carol put the phone to her chest and addressed Blaine.

“Kurt wants to speak to you if that’s –”

“Yes!” Blaine jumped up and reached out his hands so fast his movements blurred in the process. At least that’s how Sam saw it. He took his glass and stared into it. Of course Blaine would rather talk to his boyfriend than to Sam. Nothing new! 

“Can I go to your room to talk?”, Blaine asked. Sam just nodded. He tried to gulp down the lump in his throat and thought of his plan. Maybe Blaine could still fall in love with him. He had liked the letters, hadn’t he? Oh, please, _please_! Sam would do anything, give anything. Couldn’t he make a bargain? A deal with the devil or something? Because it was so unfair. Kurt had had his chance! Why couldn’t Sam have one? Why hadn’t he just kissed him? Screw the plan! Blaine would realise soon enough that Sam loved him.

“Honey, are you okay?” Carol sat down next to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. 

“What? Me? I’m over the top. Can’t you see how happy I am?”

Carol sighed and laid her arm around his shoulders. Sam gave in and let himself be hugged. She smelled like cookies so it wasn’t the worst thing.

“A girl?”, Carol whispered.

Sam sighed and shook his head.

“A boy.”

She wouldn’t judge, she was a safe person. How hadn’t he considered telling her or Burt before? They both were so accepting and loving and…

“Blaine?”

Sam closed his eyes and distorted his face. Was he that obvious? Did everybody know already?

“Oh honey… you will get through it.”

Sam freed himself and held back his tears. Get through it. He didn’t want that. But she knew more about Kurt and Blaine’s relationship and she knew they would marry. Sam was just someone else. Someone who had to get over it because he didn’t deserve an angel like Blaine.

“I make you some hot chocolate”, Carol decided. She patted his back once more and got up. Sam stared out of the window. He wouldn’t continue the thing with the letters. If Marley would bring the letter he had send her per mail to school tomorrow Sam would simply take it and throw it away no matter what she would say. All the letters did was giving him pain. Yes. This was his new plan.

-

Blaine hurried up the stairs and closed the door behind him before he held the phone to his ear.

“Kurt! Finally!”

“Yeah. How are you?”

“Uhm.” It was so unusual to talk to Kurt Blaine didn’t really know what he should say. What were their topics? He couldn’t just start with that almost kiss that would make such a bad impression. Blaine first needed to know Kurt was still on his side and had missed him. As Blaine had missed Kurt.

“I’m good. I can’t wait to see you on Christmas”, he said. He sat down on Sam’s desk chair and twirled from one side to the other.

“Wait, you want to come to New York on Christmas?”

“I hoped that would work out, yes. Why?”

“I just wish you had told me sooner. Rachel and I are –”

“Sooner?”, Blaine interrupted. “When was I supposed to tell you? You haven’t called in weeks!”

“Now, come on, Blaine, it’s not… I was busy. You know how school is!”

“You didn’t even answer most of my texts. I don’t think that would be asked too much of my fiancé! Or at least not from the kind of fiancé that I was hoping to get.”

Kurt sighed. “It’s the long distance. We knew that would get rough, Blaine. When you live here next year everything will be better, we will see each other every day!”

“Yeah”, Blaine sighed. If only that far away day would be tomorrow already!

He leaned back in the chair and sat still, sending a silent thank you to the heavens. Kurt still wanted them to be together! Had Blaine really ever doubted it? After all Kurt had said yes!

But Blaine couldn’t smile yet. He still had something to confess. He took a deep breath and –

“Have I told you about my new band?”, Kurt said. Since he hadn’t Blaine asked for details and when Kurt started talking he laid down his arm on the desk and fumbled on some paper. 

“This guy, Starchild, he is really good but NYADA wouldn’t take him, can you believe it? I didn’t! And then Santana…”

Blaine’s eyes fell on some notes. His name caught his attention and Blaine pulled the paper out completely. It was a list with Sam’s handwriting on it.

Perfect present for Blaine: 

  * he likes sweet things (not good enough!!!)

  * maybe book, love story?

  * ~~the notbook DV D~~

  * actual notbook (with things I lov about him)

  * trip to circus?

  * NO gift cart from wallmart. 

  * whaaaaaat?




Blaine silently chuckled. If Sam put so much thought into his school work he would have better grades. But it was cute, really. Blaine felt a bit flattered. He hadn’t thought about what to get Sam yet. Kurt had occupied his mind all the time.

Blaine gripped a pencil and wrote ‘a silky scarf’ on the paper. Not that he desperately needed this but it would be nice. Oh, he also should ask Kurt about presents.

When Kurt stopped talking after a few minutes Blaine used the opportunity.

“What do you want for Christmas?”

He put down the pencil with that he had made some doodles and put his hand between his legs.

“Nothing. I mean the whole reason Rachel and I plan to go to a club is because I want to ignore Christmas. It has gotten better over the years but it still reminds me of… you know.”

Blaine made an agreeing noise. Kurt had lost his mother on Christmas of all days! Such a tragedy.

“So I come to visit in January, okay?”

“Yes, that would be so great! I have to go now but Blaine? I love you.”

“I love you, too”, Blaine said. He broke the connection and laid down the phone, silently smiling to himself. 

“Well”, he mumbled. That hadn’t gone too – oh shit! Blaine had forgotten to tell Kurt about the almost kiss! He quickly pressed the call back button. After some ringing Rachel took up and told him that Kurt had just left the flat for an appointment with a possible band sponsor. 

“Crap.” Blaine let his arms fall down and clenched his fists. Such a bad luck!

While he stood up his eyes fell on the paper and he realised what he had doodled. Manny little hearts. Of course, he had talked to Kurt.

Blaine turned to go but then he saw it. Next to Sam’s line ‘with things I lov about him’ he had written ‘I love you too’. His eyes got big. He couldn’t let Sam see this! What would he think? Especially after Friday!? He was so sweet and thoughtful about what to give Blaine and Blaine had to go and write… oh my God. Shh…

Blaine threw a glance to the door, quickly folded the paper and put it into his jeans pocket. 

“I’m sorry, Sam”, he mumbled in doing so. 

Downstairs Carol and Sam were drinking hot chocolate. Blaine got one, too, but he felt guilty accepting it. After all he had just stolen from Sam. Oh gosh… He must never know! Great. Now all Blaine could think of was the paper in his pocket. He barely could participate in the conversation. So when he had finished the chocolate he excused himself and went home.

-

_December 9_ _th_ _, Monday: 16 days until Christmas_

When Sam entered the school he looked around for Marley. He had to inform her as soon as possible that the mission was over. But like always the person you look for is nowhere to be found. Sam didn’t even know what locker belonged to Marley. He would have to wait and –

Oh no! Sam stopped in his tracks and stared at Blaine a few feet away. He took a pink envelope from his locker! 

Damn you, Marley, when have you become Speedy Gonzales?

No, this was Sam’s fault. If he hadn’t been so occupied with self-pity he would’ve thought of phones and called her already yesterday. Or maybe… maybe he hadn’t really wanted to stop. But it was useless! He should stop hoping and get on with his life already.

“Hey”, he nonchalantly said as he opened his locker. Blaine turned to him with the biggest smile ever.

“New letter, Sam!”

“I saw.”

“I’m gonna read it right away.”

Sam puckered his lips. “Dude, don’t you think… I think you shouldn’t get too invested. You don’t know who it is. You don’t know whether they are serious. And what would Kurt think about all that?”

Blaine’s face fell and Sam really didn’t need to see this, not with knowing he was the reason for this. So he put all his attention to his school books and pretended to be busy.

“It’s not… do you think this is cheating?”, Blaine asked.

Sam shrugged. “No, but… I mean he wouldn’t be happy, would he? And whoever wrote the letters, you’re encouraging them when you read it. If you threw it away they would get it. I mean you’re with someone else anyway. You wouldn’t consider them as a love interest and it would be only fair to… to let them know.”

“You’re right”, Blaine mumbled. He stared at the letter in his hand and bit his lip. He didn’t say anything for so long Sam got round to not only finding his English book but also to getting his chap sticks in order. They had needed some tidying for so long now! 

“He didn’t ask me what I want for Christmas”, Blaine mumbled.

“Huh?”

Sam closed his locker and shouldered his bag. Blaine looked up and seemed a bit like a lost puppy. Sam wanted to cuddle him and tell him everything would be good. But he couldn’t. It wasn’t his place.

“Kurt. He didn’t ask me what I want for Christmas.”

“Oh. Well, maybe he forgot.”

“No. He just doesn’t care about Christmas. But… I do, you know?”

“Yeah.” Sam smiled vaguely.

“I – I need to go.” All of a sudden Blaine sounded pretty determined. He adjusted his bag, pressed the letter to his chest and started walking.

Sam frowned and watched him until he couldn’t see him anymore. 

“I know! What about a gift card from Home Depot? I mean everybody can use _that_ , right?”

Sam rolled his eyes as he turned to Ryder who grinned happily.

“Ryder, no gift cards or coupons! And anyway, I don’t need suggestions anymore. I’ll get him an Avengers DVD and that’s it. He won’t love me, perfect present or not!”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Sam Evans, are you thinking about giving up?”, yet another voice said.

“Oh great, _now_ you’re here!”, Sam groaned as Marley joined Ryder.

“Wait, she _knows_?”

“I helped him write the letters. How come _you_ know?”

“What letters? And if you know that he’s not after you, why…”

Marley rolled her eyes with a big sigh and before Sam would get caught up in their half-lovers-quarrel he interrupted them.

“It doesn’t matter! It’s over!”, Sam said. He wished his locker door was still open so he could slam it but it wasn’t so he simply turned around and left.

-

Blaine settled down in the library and took out his phone. The pink letter lay in front of him on the table, promising sweet words that Blaine had yearned for all week. But Sam had been right. It was unfair to the sender to read it and drool about it without intending to even try and return their love. (Granting that they were serious.) Then again when Blaine had thought about throwing it away unopened he just… no. He wanted this. Well, not this one explicit letter but romance and someone who made an effort for him.

Kurt hadn’t even asked what Blaine wanted for Christmas. He had talked about his life without asking about Blaine’s. Blaine really didn’t know how he could think that critical about  _Kurt_ . But they weren’t what they had been and the attempt to get it back – the proposal – hadn’t worked. Kurt’s life had changed when he had gone to New York and Blaine should have let him go in the first place. They were far apart from each other, not only regarding the distance but even more their mental conditions.

Those were the facts. His feelings weren’t that clear. He couldn’t break up with Kurt! Why couldn’t Kurt just be like the person who wrote the letters and a little bit like Sam? 

Blaine sighed. He laid his phone on the letter and pulled yet another paper out of his pockets. He had intended to throw it away since it was evidence for a crime but he hadn’t been able to. Sam had made a list about what he could get Blaine. He had asked him and Blaine had refused to answer so Sam had started to think about it on his own terms. If that wasn’t the nicest thing ever! 

Blaine arranged the letter, the list and his phone in front of him. They stood for three persons. Not that he had to make a choice. At least he could put Sam from the table because there was no way in hell he could… well… love Blaine. Not that Blaine wanted that. Although he didn’t know how he would feel if that would be an option. So now Kurt and the anonymous writer remained but how could they be opponents? Blaine didn’t even  _know_ the letter sender. And Kurt was his soul mate!

Or… was he?

The bell rang. Blaine quickly gathered the things and stuffed them into his bag before he hurried to class.

-

_December 10_ _th_ _, Tuesday: 15 days until Christmas_

Sam was supposed study for a test today. The teachers loved to give those things in the most stressful season. They were sadistic little bitches, that’s for sure. The worst was that it was a History test and Sam wasn’t good with facts and dates and shit. Learning wouldn’t help anyway so why bother.

Instead he flipped over some books and notebooks. Nothing. Maybe on the floor? No. In the bin? Damn, where was the paper he had gathered his present ideas on? How was he supposed to remember stuff without it?

Not that there had been any good ideas on it. He still hadn’t any clue what he should get Blaine for Christmas. Oh, of course Sam didn’t put any hopes in it at all. But it wouldn’t hurt to give Blaine something. After all he was fantastic and deserved only the best and if Sam could provide this for him in form of a present that Kurt had forgotten about he would. 

“Sam!”, Carol called. “You have a visitor!”

Sam opened the door and poked out his head. His intention to ask who it was was forgotten when he saw Blaine coming up the stairs.

“Dude! I didn’t know you were coming. Have I forgotten…?”

“No, I was just in the neighbourhood”, Blaine said as he got into Sam’s room and put his schoolbag onto the bed. He pulled out a History book and smiled as if the book was something to be happy about.

“Uhu, in the neighbourhood. It’s a mean learn attack, that’s what it is!”

“We can read a bit and then get pizza as a reward. Does this sound bad to you?”

Sam waggled his head. He had eaten so many cookies in the last weeks it wasn’t funny anymore. But when Blaine’s big eyes looked at him he couldn’t keep up his defence and gave in.

After two hours Sam’s concentration had gone out of the window. He let himself fall back on his bed and moaned.

“Enough!”

“Well, we could use a break, that’s true.”

Sam rubbed over his eyes. Reading was so exhausting. Writing normally was, too, except when he formulated the love letters. Then time flew by like nothing.

“So, Sam… What’s going on in your life?”

Sam looked up to frown at Blaine.

“A stupid History test, what else.”

“I mean… regarding love. Did you apologise to Marley? I saw you two talking today, is everything good again?”

Sam sat up, crossed his legs and nursed his feet. 

“We’re not a couple and we never will be.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Sam gulped. Another chance to talk to Blaine about them without him knowing what is was about. But was that really a good idea? No. Sam had to come clean about that Marley thing.

“To be honest, I don’t love her.”

“Oh?”

“I never did.”

“Well, sometimes it’s hard to figure out if you love someone or just like them really much”, Blaine nodded.

Sam raised his eyebrows. “Anything  _you_ want to talk about?”

Blaine blushed. Then he looked down and tipped his fingers on his textbook.

“I don’t know anything anymore”, he said. “Kurt is so… lately he seems like a stranger.”

“Because you live far apart. Just wait until you’re in New York!”

“But how can it be better when…” Blaine wetted his lips and looked up. “Last time we were apart I longed for him. Now I chase him, again, and there doesn’t seem any difference to when we were broken up. Except, well… except I don’t yearn to be with him anymore. I mean, yes, I want to be with him but with the Kurt he had been two years ago, you know? I can’t stop thinking that he has changed.”

Sam nodded along while his treacherous heart skipped a few beats. Oh, what a bad friend he was, wishing Blaine would break up with Kurt! And hadn’t he wanted to stop having those thoughts? Those feelings?

“Have you read the letter?”, he asked before he knew it was on his mind.

Blaine shook his head, then shrugged. “I want to. But only because I want it to be from Kurt.”

“Well, it is not.”

“I know.”

“I really hate to say this but… it sounds a lot like you hold on to Kurt because of the past and what once has been. Is it really worth all the energy you put into it?”

Blaine gulped. Suddenly his got watery and tears rolled down his cheek. Oh gosh! Sam quickly unfolded his legs and crawled to Blaine, put a hand on his shoulder and one second alter found himself in a close embrace. Blaine sobbed into his shirt, his shoulders shaking.

Sam patted his back and held him, hoping it was enough. But what else could he do? After a few minutes Blaine’s sobbing softened. He leaned back and wiped away some tears.

“Oh God. Look at me, I’m a mess.”

“It’s okay.”

Blaine rumbled in his bag, got out some tissues and blew his nose.

“Sam… I have to confess something. I stole from you.”

He reached into his bag again. Sam just frowned because what could Blaine possibly have stolen apart from his heart? Huh, that was a really great phrase, he should use that in the next letter. Well, if he would write on.

Blaine gave him a folded paper. When Sam opened it and his blood froze in his veins. It was the list, the present-ideas list. But it had changed, now some hearts were on it and two notes. One read ‘a silky scarf’, the other ‘I love you too’. Sam couldn’t take his eyes from the latter.

“I’m sorry”, he heard Blaine saying. He sniffed and went on: “I accidentally saw it on Sunday and thought it was really nice of you to think about presents. Then I… I doodled on it during my talk with Kurt and I thought you would be mad so I took it. But I had no right to. I’m sorry.”

“You already said that”, Sam mumbled. Kurt. Right. The hearts were for Kurt and the ‘I love you’ was, too. Still, his heart wouldn’t stop jumping around.

He only looked up when he felt a hand on his knee.

“Is it really that bad?”, Blaine asked.

“No, uhm… I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Did Blaine really not suspect anything? Not even after the idea with the notebook with all the things Sam loved about him? Who would do that for  _just a friend_ ? And all other presents spoke of love, too. The book, the movie…

Well, except the Wallmart gift card, that was.

“What do _you_ want for Christmas, Sam?”

Sam’s eyes very accidentally landed on Blaine’s lips. He quickly tore them away and looked at the list.

“I don’t know. Anything.”

“I will get you something special. Because you are special.”

“No, I’m not and you don’t –”

“Sam! Look at me. You are the most special and precious human being I know. Don’t talk yourself down. You’re amazing and so caring. I really meant this.” Blaine leaned forward and tipped against the list.

“When I wrote I love you. I do.”

“It… wasn’t meant for Kurt?”

Sam’s mouth was dry and his tongue felt like it didn’t belong to him. Blaine’s eyes shone at him and since Blaine hadn’t leaned back but had laid his arms on Sam’s knees he was really close, too. They looked at each other for a few moments until Blaine started to lean in even closer.

He was going to kiss him, he was! Sam’s heart drummed the melody of any love song ever. Why was this happening, what was Blaine thinking? He had just cried about Kurt so… maybe he needed comfort or…

Sam turned his head and Blaine’s warm lips landed on his cheek. It tingled like crazy and rushed down Sam’s neck, into his stomach and arms and legs, tickling his crotch. Blaine sighed and leaned back after a few seconds, face as red as a sun set. He glided back until they didn’t touch at all and started putting his school stuff into his bag. He did it too quick and with trembling hands so it didn’t work and he uttered a curse.

Sam leaned forward and put his hand on Blaine’s. He immediately stopped and let his head hang down.

“I’m sorry, Sam, I’m the biggest idiot ever and so… so out of control! I don’t know why I keep… What this is, you know. I’m not crushing on you anymore, I promise!”

Sam took back his hand now that Blaine had calmed down a bit. He nodded.

“It’s okay, I mean… You are sad and miss Kurt. That’s totally understandable.”

“Yeah”, Blaine sighed. “That’s probably it.”

Shit. Of course it was. Blaine was devastated about Kurt and would do anything in his power to make it work with him. Sam really should stop expecting anything else.

“So you’re not crushing on me anymore, Anderson? I have to say that’s a bit disappointing.” Sam grinned as if he was joking and Blaine laughed, too. How easy it was to go back to normality. Way too easy. Sam didn’t want normality. He wanted more kisses.

“Well, _Evans_. I’m not saying that it can’t come back if you ever decide to turn gay.” 

Blaine nudged Sam’s arm while Sam’s chest was moving rapidly up and down. Say it, Sam, tell him you’re bi. Go on!

Sam opened his mouth but nothing came out. He tried again and made a croaking sound. Why was it that hard?  _Come on!!!_

“So… pizza now? Are you hungry?” Blaine put his bag on the ground and looked questioningly at Sam. No, no change of subjects! 

“Sam?”

“Uhm. Yes. “

“I’ll order the usual then. Carol has Coke downstairs, hasn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

Sam cleared his throat again. It was over. The moment was gone and he had screwed it up  _again_ . He wouldn’t be able to open his mouth if his life depended on it, would he? Oh God. Seriously, how could people stand to be around him?

  
  



	6. One step forward, two steps back

Chapter 6: One step forward, two steps back

* * *

_December 11_ _th_ _, Wednesday: 14 days until Christmas_

Blaine hadn't gotten very much sleep. His head had spun like crazy. Did he hold on to Kurt when it was better to move on? Did he still love him or just who he had been two years ago? And what the hell was he doing running around trying to kiss Sam? If the blond hadn't been such a kind and patient person he would've given Blaine a kick in the bootie long ago!

The night had really been the worst. When lunch break started Blaine didn't have an appetite. Instead he went to the library, hid behind the sport books and pulled out the pink letter. Kurt didn't know he read those and the sender didn't too, it wouldn't hurt anyone. But it would help Blaine get through the rest of the day.

"Dear Blaine. I hope you had a great Second Advent. If I could I would ensure you had the best Christmas ever. We could hold hands in front of the fireplace, go ice-skating and enjoy some mullet claret. Anything to see your beautiful, world lightening smile! Anything to make your eyes shine brighter than the sun. In fact I'd just do anything for you, you name it. I have fallen hard for you, oh, if you only knew the sweet pain of my love. Your secret admirer."

Blaine put a hand in front of his mouth and didn't know if he should be glad or sad. This sounded like the way he had felt for Kurt so long ago. But his love had been returned immediately. How hard must it be to not have this! To go through your day feeling like that, thinking this love never could be yours! And on the other hand Blaine couldn't believe somebody would love him like that. It took some time to develop those feelings but Blaine would've noticed if anybody around him had felt that way, wouldn't he?

He aimlessly started at the letter. Then his eyes focused on two words. _Go ice-skating._

No. Coincidence. Pure coincidence. Everybody went ice-skating at this time of the year. Literally everybody.

Blaine folded the letter, closed his eyes and breathed in. Could it be that his crush on Sam wasn't gone at all? First this silly tries to kiss him, now he couldn't stop thinking how maybe Sam had written those letters. Ha! Sam! Are you even listening to yourself, Anderson?

His eyes remained closed as he saw scenes with Sam in his memory. Things they had done, talks they had have. The smell of cinnamon, the taste of coffee on his tongue, happy voices, colours, running, _laughing_. And crying. Sam had comforted him by just being there. Sam was so kind and good hearted and never a bore to be around. In fact Blaine wouldn't mind being 24/7 with him.

Blaine unfolded his legs and laid down, back on the hard floor and eyes directed into the neon lamp. He closed them again. Sam's cute smile that made Blaine happy. Or his sad eyes when he thought he was dump or somehow not good enough, Blaine couldn't stand this. How he longed to stroke over his soft blond hair. How wanted nothing else than to be held by him. Kiss his lips.

Sam.

Blaine put his hands on his face and a quiet sound escaped from his throat. Crap! He was so screwed.

* * *

Well, he could forget this test. Sam hadn't known any answers. When he had tried to think back to yesterday only Blaine had come to his mind. And as much as he thought 'Blaine Anderson' was the answer to everything he doubted Mrs Beaver saw it the same way.

Sam couldn't ask Blaine how he had done because he hurried away right after the lesson. So Sam had walked out with Ryder and met Marley at her locker and generally listened to people who wanted him to not give up his big romantic plan. When Marley had succeeded getting the information about the silky scarf she had screamed like a girl and clapped her hands and reminded Sam a little bit of Rachel Berry.

"There you have your perfect gift! Let's go shopping after school!"

Blaine also was gone during lunch break and when Sam came to his lockers to get the books for his next classes Blaine leaned against his and stared into space.

"You okay, dude?"

"Huh?" Blaine looked up. He seemed so sad. Probably because of Kurt. His eyes followed Sam to the locker so he didn't open it and returned the look.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

Blaine's eyes wandered down on Sam's face. It was a really weird behaviour, all of this. Sam frowned and turned to his locker to get what he had come for. All the time he felt Blaine's eyes on him and eventually said: "You sure about the not talking?" without turning around.

He heard a hawk.

"I read the letter."

"Oh." Sam felt his cheeks getting warm. This still wasn't a reason for Blaine's behaviour. Or had he written anything to give it away?

"It made me question the whole Universe."

"Really? The whole Universe? Even alternate dimensions and unknown Galaxies where aliens live?"

Sam turned his head to Blaine in deep disbelieve while Blaine waited a few seconds before he said: "Even this."

"Woah. Must be some good shit", Sam said. Ha, he really had to give himself credit for this, acting was one of his strengths.

Blaine sighed. He let his head fall downwards and pushed himself away from the locker. The strange atmosphere lifted and Sam could breathe again.

Later he strolled with Ryder and Marley through the city. They were actually holding hands and Sam looked questioningly at them. But Ryder just grinned and Marley let go of him, hooked arms with Sam and dragged him towards a shop. First he thought they were going into the comic-book store because they went straight towards it. But then Marley pointed at a shop right next to it.

"They have the best scarfs ever!"

It was true. Well, Sam couldn't tell if they were the best (in Lima? In the whole world?) but there were very many scarfs and cloths in every possible colour or fabric he could imagine. He figured he would find something for Blaine here.

An hour later he was on the edge of ripping out his hair. Silky scarf, alright! But delicate or rather a little thicker? Could there be cotton in it as well or should it be 100% silk? Red, green, yellow, _what_?

Ryder had bailed on him half an hour ago, having gone to the comic-book store. Marley sat on an armchair and read a book. From time to time Sam suggested a scarf and she liked them all. Not very helpful!

"I can't do this! It's Mission Impossible!", Sam said. He stretched a thick green scarf and wondered whether it was strong enough to hold him if he wanted to rope down from the ceiling.

"Let's see." Marley put the book into her purse and came to Sam who stood in front of a mirror.

"Green is good, I think Blaine's likes green."

"But he likes red more!"

"Then only look at red scarfs."

Sam rolled his eyes and put the green scarf away. Of course he was grateful for Marley's help and all. It was just that his nerves were starting to miss the thrill of getting distracted by fun things.

"Your problem is decision-making", Marley said.

Sam took a thick and a very thin red scarf. Not good enough. He looked for the sales woman who had been around often in the beginning and now somehow had vanished.

"I'm sure Blaine would like a scarf that actually keeps him warm", Marley said. "He's not that type of person who would wear it just for fun."

"You're right. I'm buying this now, end of story." Sam held up the thicker scarf. Marley nodded and stared walking to the till. But Sam saw something.

"Or maybe this one?"

He hated it but also he had to pay attention to the prices. He wasn't very rich. He didn't mind spending his saved pocket money on the scarf but it was limited still.

Just fifteen minutes later they exited the store. Sam wasn't sure whether it was the perfect scarf but Marley claimed he would've doubted any scarf. She might have had a point there. Sam was a bit of a perfectionist. So he tried to trust his choice and not think about it again until Christmas when he gave it to Blaine.

* * *

_December 12_ _th_ _, Thursday: 13 days until Christmas_

* * *

Blaine had decided to take a break from his love life. How could he see things clearly when he was so deep into it that he couldn't breathe? He had other things in his life, too. He had friends outside of school. At least he used to have. Granted, he hadn't spoken to his Dalton friends for some time now but they would remember him, right?

Or he could ask Ryder and Jake if they wanted to do something. The only problem with that was that Sam wouldn't understand why Blaine didn't want him to be there. And he couldn't explain it without admitting that he had lied about his crush and in doing so destroying their friendship.

Well, okay, it wouldn't _destroy_ their friendship. Sam wouldn't mind. But maybe that was even worse.

But then _finally_ the Universe did something for Blaine. In Spanish they got an assignment and they had to pair up for it. Naturally Blaine chose Artie, the only other Gleek in this class, as his partner. They didn't finish their work in school and had to meet afterwards for it.

"I'm so glad we can work together", Blaine said as he settled down in Artie's room. It wasn't very different to rooms of not handicapped people except that all things were reachable from a sitting position.

"You are?"

"Yeah. I feel like we haven't talked very much lately."

"Have we ever?"

"Oh, come on, Artie, don't be a stranger!"

Artie shrugged and they concentrated on their homework. Artie's mother brought some cookies and milk in between and they used the opportunity to have a break and Blaine tried to find out what Artie did in his free time. He had lots of books in his room so Blaine looked over them.

"Oh! Pride And Prejudice! I read that!", he said. And thought of Kurt who wouldn't want to write his name in a copy of it.

"I had to, for my English class. It's a bit overly dramatic. Of course the girls all liked it."

"Mhm. Well. Oh, a Star Wars novel! Cool. Sam would love that." He bit his lip – he hadn't wanted to think or talk about the blond – and went on.

"Okay, but you did like 'Eat, Pray, Love', right?", Blaine asked and looked to Artie.

"I haven't read it. Tina gave it to me last Christmas but… I had so much other things to do."

Blaine nodded. "There's also a movie about it…" He let his fingers glide over the next books.

"Blaine?"

"Huh?"

"What is going on?"

Blaine stood upright and shook his head. "What do you mean?"

"I'd assume you had a fight with Kurt but you would talk with Sam about that. So did you fight with Sam or…?"

Sighing Blaine sat down on the bed. "Am I that obvious?"

"I'm afraid you are."

"I just want to hang out with other friends", Blaine said. "Not think about love matters. It can be exhausting."

"Can I ask you something personal?"

Artie rolled towards the bed and positioned his chair across from Blaine who made a vague gesture.

"Sure."

"A few months ago I sensed a strong vibe between you and Sam. But then you were so excited about getting back together with Kurt and proposed to him. And right now you said being with Sam would make you think about love matters. So… where exactly do you stand?"

Blaine took a deep breath. Good question, really good question. Could somehow please answer it for him?

"It's kind of a long story", he said. Artie shrugged and leaned back.

"The assignment isn't due until next week anyway, right?"

"Okay then…" Blaine inhaled again and started with the letters. After all it was them who had made him question his relationship with Kurt and also opened his eyes about his not so overcome feelings for Sam.

* * *

Sam put the plates on the counter and took some cups out of the dish washer. They came on the counter, too, because later was enough time to put them into the cupboards. Unfortunately he then had to take a break from this exciting chore because the phone in his jeans buzzed. But – unfortunately again – it wasn't Blaine who texted him about how boring Artie was and asked Sam to come there to entertain them.

_Are you working on the next letter already?_

Sam pulled a grimace. _No._

Seriously, it was his choice if he wanted to end this. He had no chance anyway.

On the other hand it of course would be nice to just let Blaine know. He didn't have to break up with Kurt for him or anything. He didn't even have to say something. Sam just wanted to stop hiding. Maybe Blaine already knew just like Sam had known a few months ago. Ah, good times. He had waited for Blaine to say something for so long that he had run out of patience and more or less pressured him into admitting his crush. Blaine had been afraid about Sam's reaction or that it would jeopardise their friendship but come on – nothing could ever do that.

Yes, maybe Sam should tell him. Without more letters, without a big event like the one Blaine had given to Kurt. Just a simple 'Hey Blaine guess what, I like you' and that was it.

Right. As easy as telling Blaine that he was bi.

Sam sighed and continued the housework.

* * *

_December 13_ _th_ _, Friday: 12 days until Christmas_

* * *

Holy crap, the thirteenth already! Not even two weeks left until Christmas. Sam was running out of time! Yes, he had a present now but no clue about how to tell Blaine. He couldn't continue the letters, so how else do it? Maybe another kind of letter, handwritten and signed with Sam?

"Sam, can I talk to you?"

"Huh?"

Sam hadn't realised he just stood in front of his locker, staring at it. He quickly opened it, took the needed book and closed it. When he turned around, Artie was still there and looked at him.

"Talk, dude! But make it fast I've got Geography class now."

"Well, then maybe we can talk during lunch break. It's a bit… delicate and we should have privacy for it."

Sam stopped and frowned. "What? Why?"

He had a bad feeling about this, very bad. Artie had a habit of addressing things when no one else dared to. But what could possibly be on his mind now?

Artie threw a glance around and leaned forward.

"It's just that it can't go on like that. What's the matter, is it because of your dyslexia that you don't like to write? Because –"

"Damn! Who told you, Ryder or Marley? It was Marley, am I right?" Sam clenched his fist. Just this morning he had seen her speaking to Artie. Hadn't Sam told her often enough now to let it go? How persistent could one person be? But Ryder was just as guilty, those two were best friends since they had discovered they shared the passion of bugging Sam.

He went to the side and Artie followed him, forehead deeply folded. Sam tried to keep his voice down but sound determined at the same time.

"Why is everybody all of a sudden such a great coupler? I've decided against more letters because it's just senseless. Blaine loves Kurt from the bottom of his heart. Are you clear about the fact that they are _engaged_?"

Artie lifted a hand.

"Hold up. You… it was _you_ who wrote the letters? You are in love with…" He glanced around and added: "You know who."

Sam pursed his lips and studied Artie's face.

"That wasn't what you wanted to talk about?"

"No. I wanted to tell you this school has a dyslexia counsellor you could go to get help with writing your homework. You didn't do it a few times now."

"Oh. Huh. Well, that sounds like great advice, thanks!"

"Can I give you another one?"

"No, one per day is enough. You gotta watch your strength, man."

Sam patted Artie's shoulder but the strict look the boy gave him made him shudder and stay where he was.

"I know it's not my place to tell you what to do but I think you should continue writing this letters. Sometimes things aren't as hopeless as they seem."

Sam nodded. "But sometimes they are."

"Yes, but sometimes they are _not_ ", Artie insisted with a solemn face.

"O… kay. Right. Whatever you say, bro."

"Listen to me. Sometimes things are different than they seem."

"That's what you just said."

"But do you _understand_?"

Sam rolled his eyes. Artie rolled closer to him and made Sam move against the wall behind him. He almost whispered as he talked on.

"Sometimes you are in love with your best friend who's in a relationship that seems stable and unbreakable while in reality he would leave everyone and everything behind on account of the smallest sign that you might love him."

Sam stared at Artie. What? He couldn't formulate a question, his head was blank. Artie send him another forceful look and then rolled away.

Did Artie know something Sam didn't or was he just another passionate coupler? Could Sam risk it and do nothing when the first option turned out to be true? No, certainly not. Maybe he should write another letter. You know, just in case.

* * *

Christmas was drawing nearer every day. Blaine still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that he wasn't allowed to get Kurt a present. But maybe he could give him one a few days later, declaring it as a New Year's present? But what? It had to be special.

Blaine had also told Sam he'd get him something special and he wished he hadn't. When he had made this promise he hadn't been aware that he still had some feelings for Sam and now that he was he just wanted it ignore them, make them go away. Buy him a best friend's gift and nothing more. Blaine had succeeded in pushing this crush away before so he could do it again.

He put a tiny little sugar cane onto the head of the gingerbread house and wiped his hands with a towel.

"Is it ready now?", he asked his mother. She was wearing an apron and her hands looked just like the kitchen: full of flour.

"Almost! We still need to dust it with sugar, symbolising the snow the winter winds have brought to it. This is the third house in our little village. Do you want to make another one? Maybe a church? Honey, don't eat that! And please don't make plans for Sunday, your father wants to read us The Polar Express."

"Mum, I'm not five anymore!"

Blaine wiped his finger with that he just had eaten some raw dough and stared out of the window that was enlightened with a whirling Christmas pyramid. It was dark outside and snowed very lightly. If the weather didn't change they would get a white Christmas this year.

"One is never too old for nice stories! Why don't you ask Sam to come over? Tell him I'll make hot chocolate with cinnamon. By the way, your brother will arrive on the twenty-fourth. You should tidy your room until then but you do that anyhow, right, honey? Tidying up for Christmas. Will Kurt be in town?"

Blaine sighed. "No."

He checked his phone but Kurt hadn't written him. Just when Blaine wanted to put it away the screen lightened up with a message. _Dude this Sunday we gotta do something alright no homework!_

_Funny that you write just now, my mother has just invited you over._ _There will be hot chocolate with cinnamon and fairytales._

_yes! cinemon is great and your mother too I'll be there_

Blaine waggled his head. She wasn't _that_ great.

"Honey, I want to clean up. Or do you want to make another gingerbread house? Or how about a pine tree? Is that Kurt?"

His mother wiped over the table and gathered the confectioneries together.

"No, Sam."

"Tell him about the hot chocolate."

"I just did."

"What about his parents? Will he visit them over the holidays? I'm sure he misses them like crazy. And he has siblings, too, right? Mustn't he be lonely! Do you think that's why he's a bit clingy?"

"Mum! He's not clingy! We're just good friends so of course we spend much time together. And you just wanted me to invite him so…" Blaine shook his head about her strange behaviour.

His mother sighed and wrung out the cloth under the water.

"I never said I don't like him. I just worry about him. Maybe it would be good for him to have a girlfriend. How about Tiffany? Should we introduce him to Tiffany? She's so sweet."

Blaine distorted his face. The girl next door was so overrated.

"She's fifteen and a pain in the neck."

"Sam is seventeen, so what's the problem?"

"Mum, you don't even know if he wants a girlfriend, okay? Maybe he's glad being single and actually likes spending time with me. What is it with people always saying that someone is lonely because he isn't in a relationship? Singles can be happy! Being in a relationship can be lonely!"

Blaine closed his mouth and bit his lip. Now, those were a few words too much. When his mother looked at him the way he had expected her to – curious, on the edge of questioning him – he got up and left the room.

* * *

_December 15_ _th_ _, 3_ _rd_ _Advent Sunday: 10 days until Christmas_

* * *

"You are kidding, right?"

"Blaine, watch your tone when you speak with your mother!"

"Honey, I just think of his best. He must be so lonely…"

Blaine clenched his jaw, his shoulders tensed. What… how… Just on Friday he had told his mother to _not_ invite Tiffany! That Sam didn't need a girlfriend. And it wasn't his mother's decision anyhow! But who was standing in the hallway now, too much make-up on her face and skirt way too short?

"Blaineeeeey! Hey! Is Sam cute? I haven't had a boyfriend in aaaages! At least for a week now!"

Blaine snorted and turned around on the spot, running back upstairs.

"It's because he is gay", he heard his farther say. Then Blaine arrived upstairs and hurried to his room. Next time the doorbell would go he wouldn't even bother to get downstairs.

Except that next time it _would_ be Sam and the downfall would begin. Blaine pulled out his phone.

_Can I come over to Hudmel's?_

_I'm on my way!_

Blaine got into his jacket and beanie and opened his door. No more voices. As he sneaked downstairs he heard some muted mumbling from the kitchen. He quickly took his key and slipped outside. Cold air filled his lungs as he breathed in his relief. Then he hurried down the street. Sam came towards him just as he had rounded a corner.

"Let's go to your home, okay?", he said before Sam could ask any questions.

Not that it helped.

"Why? I want cinnamon cacao!"

"Sam, please. I can't bear being at home right now."

"Well, I guess we can make our own drinks." Sam shrugged. Blaine nodded, smiled and locked arms with him as they walked back to where Sam had come from.

"So what happened?", Sam wanted to know.

"Our neighbour. She came over and she is _horrible_!"

Sam nodded understandingly. "I feel you. Did she poke you with a stick? That's what my neighbour used to do."

"How old were you?"

"Five or six but I remember it very vividly, Blaine, don't laugh! I have the best memory ever. I can even remember my birth."

"Uhuh, and how was it?" Blaine tried his best to switch off his grin but he couldn't. And he didn't really want to. It was great how Sam made him laugh every time they were together. It was so easy to be with him and why should they have this ruined by his mum's coupling obsession?

"Bloody!" Sam darted around as fast as lightening and ripped up his arms to frighten Blaine. Now the laughter couldn't be held back at all and Blaine grabbed his stomach as he stumbled a few steps and enjoyed the thrusts rumbling through his body.

"I'm so serious right now and you laugh. That's really rude. I think I have to punish you…."

Blaine shook his head but then a snowball bounced off his beanie. It took another one before he caught his breath and fought back. It required a lot of running so it felt like the hottest day ever. He had forgotten his gloves so the icy feeling the snow left on his hands soon made them all red and hot.

When Blaine entered the white grass of the Hummel-Hudson's he slipped and fell. Ice was in his face and sleeves and as he got on his knees, something bumped against him and pushed him back into the cold powder.

"Gotcha! I win!"

"Get off me!"

"Say I'm the winner."

Blaine had snow in his mouth. He spewed it out and turned around. He realised that this was a mistake as soon as Sam's face with its red cheeks and bright grin was hovering so close over his, their bodies squashed together on the hard underground.

"You're the winner."

His words were gasps in disguise.

Sam's eyes shifted to Blaine's lower face, he really didn't imagine it, Sam looked at his lips! But Blaine was aware now that he had to restrain himself. Knowing that he wanted to kiss Sam made it easier to not do it, however silly this sounded. Well, yes, he wetted his lips and couldn't take his eyes from Sam's red and slightly open mouth but he didn't lean up. He easily could have.

Instead he put his hands on Sam's waist and pressed a bit.

"Let's go inside."

"Oh. Yeah. Right." Sam cleared his throat and rolled down. He lay on his back in the snow and Blaine sat up, looking down at him.

"You're so beautiful", Sam whispered. "I can't do this any longer."

"Do what?"

Sam turned his face to the sky and closed his eyes. He gulped and puckered his lips.

"Lying…"

"Lying?"

Sam inhaled deeply and opened his eyes.

"I can't keep lying in the snow while we could be inside drinking hot cacao. With cinnamon even! I mean… What can be better, eh?"

He jumped up and ran to the house. Only when he was inside Blaine started to get up. Sam had called him beautiful. That was odd, wasn't it? Or was that normal best friend behaviour and Blaine totally didn't know the borders anymore?

* * *

"Carol, Burt, I'm back and Blaine's here, please make some cacao, I'm with you in five!", Sam called as he took two steps at a time to get upstairs as fast as possible. There he rushed into the bathroom, turned around the key and sat down on the closed toilette, putting his face in his hands. He barely noticed that he panted for air; all the thoughts were spinning round and round and making him dizzy. He had to tell Blaine right now. Ten more days, Sam couldn't do that. It would feel like ten years. And maybe the weird tension between them would go away as soon as Blaine knew and Sam would stop wondering if his love could ever be returned.

His breathing calmed down. Sam took off his jacket and hat, watched his face in the mirror and washed his hands with warm water.

When he came downstairs Blaine sat like a happy, cute little whelp between Carol and Burt on the couch. He had both hands around a mug and chatted easily. Sam took a few seconds to watch him but when Blaine noticed him he couldn't keep standing any longer and went in.

"Is there cinnamon in the cacao?"

"Please, Sam, what do you think of us?", Blaine said. He held his eyes as Sam sat down in an armchair and Sam smiled.

"Thank you."

Then Blaine got out his vibrating phone and got up.

"Excuse me."

Sam leaned back in his armchair and nipped on his cacao. Life was pretty good considered the fact that he didn't even life with his family. But Burt and Carol had become his family, too. He hadn't talked to his parents about the holidays yet and wondered how he should explain to them that he needed to stay in Lima. To be honest he also hadn't asked Burt and Carol about it. But what should he say about the reason? Oh I have to serenade your son's boyfriend…?

"Uhm…" Blaine came back from the hallway, looking at his phone in his hand. "I have to go home."

"Has something happened?", Carol asked.

"No. I mean, yes, I'm grounded."

"What for?" Sam asked. How could _Blaine_ ever get grounded, come on, even the teachers tended to let him get away with everything.

"Because I didn't tell them that I left."

"Now, that sounds a bit harsh", Carol said.

"Can't you talk to Blaine's mother?", Sam asked. But she shook her head.

"I can't tell a mother how to raise her child."

"But Blaine's not a child! He's almost eighteen!"

Still she didn't agree and Burt also shook his head.

"Alright." Sam got up. "Then we go to your place like planned."

"I don't think they will allow me visitors when I'm grounded", Blaine said.

"Then I just walk you to the door."

"Sam…"

"What? They can't forbid you that."

"No, but… It's okay. Really. Just stay and drink your cinnamon chocolate, we'll see each other tomorrow in school."

"Am I at least allowed to walk you to _my_ door?" Sam crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows. Blaine just nodded and turned around.

When Sam came to the hallway Blaine was already in his jacket. He looked into the mirror opposite to the stairs and arranged his hair.

"I look horrible. I should've gelled more. Oh God, this really isn't my day."

"This is a joke, right?"

Blaine frowned at his mirror image and put on his hat.

"I mean you're the most beautiful and amazing boy I know. How can you say you look horrible? That's so… weird."

"No. It's weird when you say I'm beautiful", Blaine said. He pursed his lips and still stared at himself.

"But it's –"

"I'm not trying to talk my looks down, here, Sam, I'm saying that this isn't an appropriate compliment for a best friend. That's all."

"I'm trying to cheer you up!"

Finally Blaine turned around and curiously enough he looked angry.

"No! This is flirting, and it wasn't the first time. What the hell is going on with you? Are you lonely, do you need a girlfriend?"

" _What_?" Sam's stomach hurt as if he'd been punched and his legs threatened to give in. This was so not how this topic should be addressed. So not what Blaine should think of him. And what should he say, his mouth only made weird noises again. But when Blaine snorted and turned to the door, Sam's legs finally came alive. He leaped after Blaine and grasped his arm, turning him around.

"I'm not lonely", he said.

"I don't care. I need to go home."

Blaine pulled his arm back and sent him a look that wasn't like anything Sam had ever seen in his best friend's eyes. When the door clunk shut behind him, Sam felt something wet running over his cheeks.

"I just love you."

* * *

_Coming up next_ : Blaine receives the last letter from his secret admirer. Sam has the most annoying friends ever but maybe they're actually helpful? Anyway, are Ryder and Marley dating now or what? Kurt has an exciting surprise for Blaine! But… will Blaine be as enthusiastic about it as Kurt is?


	7. Blaine gets his shit together… not

_ December 16th, Monday: 9 days until Christmas _   
  


Blaine had never been grounded before so he wasn't sure whether he should be glad to have that experience every teenager had to go through on their way to adulthood or not. Because not being allowed to leave the house except for school wasn't really what freedom felt like.

At least he had a lot time now to do his homework and keep an eye on the computer in case Kurt came online. Maybe it should have worried him that he didn't really care whether this happened and he just observed a habit. His homework was eventually done so Blaine thought about Wednesday when his grounding would be over. He'd have to finish the essay with Artie then but it also couldn't hurt to write a bit of it now, could it?

When Kurt appeared on his scream Blaine greeted him wearily.

"What happened?", Kurt asked immediately. "Carol told me you are grounded? What fundamental change in your personality did I miss?"

Blaine drove a hand over his face.

"Nothing really happened. I ran out of the house and my parents didn't like it."

Kurt frowned. In the background Rachel rushed through the loft without stopping to wave or anything.

"Okay, I ran out when they explicitly asked me not to go anywhere because they had Advent plans", Blaine admitted.

"You ran out on your family when they had Christmas plans with you? Doesn't sound like the Blaine Anderson I know."

Blaine shrugged. "What can I say …"

" _ Why _ did you run out?"

"You are really craving for sensations, aren't you? I mean since we got back together you never wanted to know anything about my life or about me. All of a sudden I'm interesting enough for Kurt Hummel because I am  _ grounded _ ? Now I don't know what that says about you."

Kurt looked shocked. He held up a hand.

"Did they give you something?"

Blaine snorted and crossed his arms.

"Yes. Common sense."

"We should continue this when you're in a better mood."

"No. I want to talk now because apart from the fact that I'm tired of waiting weeks for your next call I don't think avoiding a fight is what makes a relationship last. Come on, Kurt, let's fight."

"So you want to fight … because you think that will help us survive? After we broke up because we didn't do anything else?"

"Seems like we're still not able to talk to each other like adults. This is the most open conversation we had since … "

"Since you told me you cheated?"

Blaine raised his eyebrows.

Kurt sighed. "I was kind of counting on next year when you would be here. I'm not good at that whole distance thing, you know that."

Blaine felt his muscles relax. Kurt sounded sincere enough. And had he ever admitted before that not everything was Blaine's fault? No. This was a big first one.

"Well", he uttered while he uncrossed his arms. "I hope it will be better then, too."

Kurt smiled. "I'm sure it will."

Blaine returned the smile, happy for the first time since he had awoken in the morning.

Kurt leaned forwards to the screen.

"So? Why did you run out on your parents?"

"Oh." Blaine opened his mouth and closed it again. "Uhm. Tiffany. They had invited … Tiffany."

Kurt pursed his lips. "Who's that? A new member from Glee club?"

"No, our annoying neighbour. Listen, Kurt, I have to go …"

"Alright. I promise I will call earlier than next month."

"Thanks. I love you."

When the computer had shut down Blaine stared at it. This wasn't right. Now  _ he _ had ended the conversation when Kurt had been ready to talk more and it was all because of this stupid best friend of his. Blaine tried very hard to avoid thinking of Sam but when he actually did his body tensed up and his feet wanted to lash out. He couldn't remember a time when he had been that angry with anyone and the worst thing was that when Blaine stepped back a bit and asked himself about his reasons he didn't know why he was so furious.

Hell, he didn't even know why he had accused Sam of flirting in the first place. When he ignored the fact that flirting wasn't really something he should be angry about (especially with Sam) the fact remained that Sam  _ hadn't _ .

Oh, it was all a big mess. It was the fault of his useless crush. It made him see things and then act nonsensically. He hadn't even been in the mood to read the new letter that had been on his locker today. Blaine pulled it out of his school bag and looked at it. No, no sensation seeing it. He opened it, unfolded it and started to read.

"Dear Blaine. I hope you had the best Third Advent. I am a little sad today because I heard you have a boyfriend. I hope you enjoy your time with him as much as I enjoy just looking at you. You shall have the most wonderful time with him and many mistletoe kisses. I understand that my letters are inconvenient for you and this is why I will stop writing you. My wish for you is that you are happy and joyful every day of your life because you deserve that. Don't ever let anybody tell you different. So long, your secret admirer."

Blaine laid it down and smoothed it out.

What?

No. Why would he stop writing? This was … Why did everybody leave him at the same time? Sam was far away and now the sender didn't want to continue their admittedly very one sided romance and Kurt… Oh wait, everything was good with Kurt.

Blaine rested his face in his hand and let slip some little sobs. No, nothing was good, nothing! Damn it, Sam was supposed to text him and ask why Blaine had overreacted yesterday and if he could come over to put it behind them. Sam was supposed to call a hundred times even when Blaine ignored him. Sam was supposed to be here for him while everything else was going down in flames.

Why wasn't he?

Blaine crawled on his bed and buried his face in his pillow. Only when his lungs started to hurt due to lack of oxygen he turned his heat. He took his phone from the bedside table and opened the last message Sam had sent him.  _ I'm on my way! _

Blaine's thumb hovered over 'answer'. He could just as well make the first step, right? He was the one who had groused at Sam for no reason. But what could he say to make it right?

Just then his phone buzzed. Blaine hurried to open the text and his heart sank down with bitter disappointment.

_ Sooner than next month, I promise! :-) Love you! _

Blaine stared at it for a few moments. Then he sat up abruptly and put both hands on the phone. Shit. Kurt and he were on a way back to each other and all Blaine thought about was his best friend. That wasn't … that wasn't  _ right _ . In fact it was destructive!

_ Can't wait! Love you too xoxo _

Blaine lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. What a mess his life was. But at least he and Kurt were on a very good way now. It would be alright soon enough.

* * *

  
_ December 17th, Tuesday: 8 days until Christmas _   
  


Cinnamon wasn't what it used to be. Totally overrated and overused, too.

"Sam? Are you listening?"

"Yes." Sam put the hot cacao on the tray that lay in front of him on the ground. Maybe it just didn't taste as good because it was Ryder's mum who had made it. And when he had asked for some cinnamon she had given him a wooden stick and said he should put that into the milk. What even …?

"This is important. Only one week until Christmas now", Marley said.

"Have you spoken to your parents yet?", Ryder wanted to know.

"I was gonna call them tonight."

"What will you tell them?", Marley asked.

"I will ask them if they can get me because I don't want Burt to drive me all the way to Kentucky."

Ryder and Marley both stared at him. Eventually the brunette boy cleared his throat.

"So … when are you revealing yourself to Blaine…?"

Sam frowned at Marley. "Haven't you told him about the last letter?"

"Well … Stop writing him is one thing, not telling him at all another", she said with eyes wide open.

Sam took up his mug and stirred it with the cinnamon stick. He wanted to tell Blaine, he really did. But on Sunday he had got the impression that Blaine wouldn't approve very much. Even more so when he hadn't spoken to Sam during the last two days in school. Sam didn't know what he had done wrong. Yes, he had told Blaine he was handsome but did the punishment really fit the crime?

"Do you really want to keep it a secret? I mean even if he doesn't love you back, he ought to know, right? You're best friends and if you don't tell him this will stand between you more than when you tell him and he thinks you're crazy. Isn't that right, Ryder?"

"Yeah."

Sam waggled his head and looked at his friends. They had a point. Maybe it was the not speaking about had made Blaine angry. Maybe he sensed that something was going on and he couldn't put his finger on it.

"But telling him on Christmas would be … romantic. He would think I expect something of him."

"Blaine likes romantic things. He loved the letters and I don't think he would mind very much to get a bit more", Marley said.

"Don't you expect something of him?", Ryder asked.

Sam shook his head, then shrugged. "I don't know anything anymore."

"All the more reason to do it. Maybe on Christmas Eve …?" Marley folded her hands in expectation, her face all exited while Ryder leaned over and nudged Sam's arm with his fists.

"Come ooooon!"

"Alright, okay! I'll do it!" Sam rolled his eyes as his friends high-fived each other. But somehow his chest felt lighter and the hot cacao didn't taste that bad anymore. Still he needed to ask another question.

"So … I couldn't help but realise you two have bonded over getting on my nerves and I can't help but wonder…"

"Oh, no, just friends", Marley quickly said. Ryder looked at her in astonishment.

"What?"

"Well, okay, maybe not purely just friends but we also aren't dating. Remember, I said I need time?"

"Oh, yeah." Ryder nodded. He leaned back and sighed. "Well, at least you two aren't … you know. That was a weird thought. I didn't believe it anyhow."

"Yeah, I got that from the fact that you punched me because I gave Marley a letter", Sam nodded. "Clearly you just fulfilled your duty as my friend."

"Exactly. You know, everybody needs a good punch in the face now and then."

"If you want to I can return that favour."

"Oh, that won't be necessary. But thanks."

They exaggeratedly nodded to each other. Then Marley said something about cookies and Sam was distracted by that. When she got up to get a box out of her bag Sam leaned to Ryder.

"You like reindeers, don't you?"

"Duh, who doesn't?"

"I know, right!"

They high-fived and Sam was a bit calmer now. Ryder liked reindeers and Blaine would soon know Sam loved him. Whether this was good or not was something Sam better not thought about or else he would for crazy. But at least he wouldn't have to hide anymore.

Later that night Sam was in his room and talked to his mother on the phone. Unfortunately she said that his farther would come to Lima on the 24th so that Sam could wake up on Christmas with his family.

"Can't he get me on the twenty-fifth?"

"I don't think your father wants to spend the whole Christmas day in the car. What's so important that it can't wait a few more days?"

"Uhm …"  _ I wrote love letters to a friend during the last weeks and now need to tell him it's me. _ "Nothing."

When he hung up he realised he still had to get presents for his family. Dang. But first things first. He called Ryder's cell phone and Marley picked up.

"Change of plans!", he said. "Is Ryder there with you? Put me on speaker."

A few seconds later he was and told his friends the new plan.

* * *

Blaine refused to spend his last day in prison making a gingerbread house or church or any other gingerbread building. Instead he took some candles and pine branches and decorated his room. He reorganised his closet and the presents he hid in it. Only the one for Kurt and the one for Sam were missing, the most important ones. But they were on their way from Amazon to his house so he just had to wait now.

When he switched on the colourful light chain on his window frame and looked outside into the white night he felt calmer than before. The world wasn't a too bad place, especially not at this time of the year. It was all about love and forgiving so who was he to hold grudges against friends that hadn't even done anything? Jesus wouldn't be very happy about this.

Blaine took his phone and went back to the window, eyes following a lonely walker with her dog.

"Hey", Sam said as he picked up.

"Hi Sam." Blaine puckered his lips and let a trembling finger run over a red light. "I'm … I…"

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. And stupid. Please don't leave me."

A silence followed in that Blaine was on the edge of throwing up due to nervousness. Sam would say no and hang up and that would be it.

"Well", Sam said. "If you insist."

A relieved laughter slipped from Blaine's mouth. The pulse in his now very light chest continued and he wasn't even ashamed when he started to cry.

"Oh God. I missed you so much, Sam. I can't even remember what we were fighting about." Blaine went to his bed and sat down, leaned against the head piece and stroked with his free hand over his jeans.

"I missed you, too. Life's just not the same without you."

Blaine smiled. In fact he grinned, closed his eyes and grinned even brighter. He melted against his bed and laid a hand on his happily dancing heart. If he could only feel like this forever. No worries in the whole world and promising days ahead of him. Christmas truly was a time of joy and felicity.

"I'm still grounded but maybe we can do something tomorrow after school? I'll cancel my plans with Artie for that. I finished our essay anyway and I don't think he minds not having to work on it."

"Alright. Let's do something Christmassy!"

Blaine chuckled. "You, Sam Evans, have an unhealthy obsession with this holiday."

"Oh come on, you love it, too, don't deny it."

"I do, that's true."

"And that's why you never say no to another cinnamon coffee at Starbucks."

"Or we could watch a Christmas movie, we haven't come round to that yet."

Sam offered to bring some sweets and they hang up. Blaine put his phone next to him and stared into air. His blood rushed with double rapidness through his ears and his limbs were weak. His crotch tingled a bit but that could be ignored easily. Just a result from that crush. It would go away.

Just when he had cooled down enough to get up his phone rang. Oh, it was Kurt …?

"Hi Kurt!", Blaine said. "Sooner than next month, that much is true."

"Right? I told you I'd call. And I have a surprise for you. Guess what?"

Blaine shook his head. "What?"

"Since Christmas is important to you I've decided to come to Lima during the holidays. I just spoke to Carol, she's thrilled!"

"That … wow. That's great, Kurt!"

"I know! We will be together much sooner than expected. I can't wait!"

"Yeah, yeah, absolutely!", Blaine said over the lump in his throat.

"Finn and Rachel will be there, too, it will be just like old times. It was such an act to make Rachel come with me. But oh, I'm so excited! I think I'm gonna start packing already!"

"When will you arrive?"

"Monday. We're flying back on Thursday already because we have a gig in the evening but that gives us three whole days!"

"Yeah. Great."

Kurt talked on about something he would wear on Christmas. When they eventually hang up Blaine stared at his phone and wondered what was going on. He didn't care whether Kurt would be here or not. Oh! That was the distance between them speaking. When he would see him, would look into his fabulous eyes Blaine would feel all the love and admiration again. He knew it. Granted, he hadn't gotten any signs from the Universe that he should be with Kurt but so what!? It was his choice anyway, he didn't need no God or Higher Power to tell him what he should do.

He had gotten some signs about Sam, though.

Not that it was relevant.

Except that … that… He'd rather be with Sam than with Kurt.

Blaine closed his eyes and quickly wiped away some tears. The thrill of talking to Sam again was still in his body, that's all there was to it. Kurt would be here soon and everything would be like it had been. Please, it had to be. He couldn't leave Kurt, he couldn't be in love with Sam. It was a crush, nothing more. It was all so stupid. Nothing was like it was supposed to be and all his efforts to bring old times back didn't seem to work no matter how much energy Blaine put into it. But until this day he had been alone on this mission and now Kurt was joining him. Together they would be able to do it, to be the most wonderful, magical couple again. Especially on Christmas time!

* * *

 

_ December 18th, Wednesday: 7 days until Christmas _

"Beware! The last days of school have begun!" Sam shouted as he entered the hallway, arms wide spread. Some students applauded him, some gave critical looks.

Unfortunately he got back his History test today and got an E; but he wasn't surprised about that. And he didn't care either regarding the fact that he didn't have to think about school the next two weeks. Not to mention he was pretty occupied formulating the last letter in that he would ask Blaine to meet him.

"Next time we'll learn even more", Blaine said as they exited the classroom.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, right. But it's almost winter break now", Sam said.

"That's the perfect opportunity to catch up with some subject matters."

"You are joking, right? It's Christmas and I certainly won't learn on Christmas! I have a lot of stuff to do like eat cookies, unwrap presents and sing songs."

They arrived at their lockers and Sam's pulse sped up in advance as he started to put his plan in action. He opened his locker while he talked and pretended to be very cool and thanked the heavens Blaine was too occupied with his own books to notice that Sam's hands were trembling.

"By the way, we totally do something on Sunday, right? After you bailed on me last Sunday."

"Of course, Sam. I reserve that day for you."

Sam returned Blaine's smile. Oh, if he only knew what was coming. Maybe he wouldn't be that glad than but it didn't matter; Sam was going to go through with it now.

* * *

After school they immediately headed to Blaine's house. Sam took out the last cookies he had found at the Hummel-Hudson's and some chocolate and solemnly spread it all out on the kitchen table where they would prepare drinks.

"This one is only for cacao matters only", he said and gave Blaine a big Cadbury milk chocolate bar. Blaine put it into a pot and reached for the milk when Mrs Anderson came in.

"Hi Sam, how are things? What are you doing? Oh, honey, you don't mix the things together  _ before _ heating! First the milk!"

"That's how I do it, Mum!"

Sam arranged the cookies in a nice order. When Mrs Anderson was ready lecturing Blaine how to make hot cacao the right way she opened the fridge and took out a plate.

"Those are leftovers from yesterday, I'm sure you boys haven't eaten enough in school. Sam, do you eat enough? You look so skinny. How much do you weight?"

"Mum!"

"I'm sorry, that was a bit too personal, wasn't it? Anyway, I don't mind if those get eaten up. Sam, did Blaine tell you about Tiffany? We can arrange a new meeting if you are interested."

She took off the kitchen foil and revealed some sandwiches. Sam frowned and looked at Blaine but he very intensely watched the milk in the pot.

"Of course he didn't. Honey, you could at least have asked him, there's absolutely nothing to it. Right, Sam?"

Sam didn't really know what he was supposed to say. He scratched his head and didn't have to wait very long until the brunette woman spoke on.

"We thought you might want to meet Tiffany. She's a  _ very _ lovely girl, about your age and she's single, just like you. Wouldn't it be nice to have some company on Christmas?"

"Mum! Can you … Can we just… Sam is here to watch a movie", Blaine said.

"Why don't you let Sam speak for himself, honey?"

Mrs Anderson wiped her hands on a towel and looked at Sam for many silent seconds so he figured he actually had to answer now.

"I … I don't really… I mean I'm okay. But thanks."

"Okay is not happy, Sam! Will you see your family over the Holidays?"

"Yes, I will."

"Oh, that's nice. I'm glad for you. Aren't you, honey? Alright, I leave you two to it! No reason to look that grumpy."

She shook her head and left the kitchen. When the door was closed completely Sam puckered his lips and watched Blaine who still didn't care to return his look.

"Did you put your mother up to this? Because of last Sunday?"

Blaine wetted his lips and stirred on and on.

"No", he said quietly.

Sam crossed his arms. His chest felt like a city after a terrorist attack. Dark, cold and so empty. Blaine wanted him to get a girlfriend.

Blaine took a tin out of a cupboard and poured golden cinnamon powder into the milk. The silence couldn't have been farer away from being holy even with the Christmas pyramid on the window sill and the gingerbread village next to it. Just when the lump in his throat climbed up Sam's throat to escape his mouth through words like 'just tell me when you have enough of me' Blaine mumbled something. Sam asked for repetition.

"My mother had invited her on Sunday. That's why I left the house, okay? I … I don't like her. She's not good enough for you."

Sam opened his mouth but this time no words were lying on his tongue. Eventually he said "oh".

"But if you want to meet her I won't say anything, I promise. I was a little out of line, I'm sorry."

"No. I mean … I really don't want… her."

Blaine shortly glanced at him. "You don't miss being in a relationship?"

Sam bit his lip a bit too hard. His fists clenched under the table. Risky topic! Why don't you wait until Sunday, Blaine?

"I don't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of it. I only do love, dude."

Blaine smiled barely noticeable. He put the tin back and poured the brown milk in two mugs. Then he put them on the table.

"But maybe you could love her. You can't know that."

"I'm okay with being single. Have you heard from Kurt recently?"

Good change of subject, ha! Blaine nodded and said he would tell Sam upstairs so they took the food and the drinks to Blaine's room. Sandwiches and hot cacao didn't really go together so they first ate some cookies while Blaine told Sam that Kurt would come to Lima on Monday. It almost let the cookie stuck in his throat but Sam managed to not cough and quickly nodded.

"Hey, cool."

Blaine waggled his head. "Yeah."

"Not cool?"

Now Blaine shrugged and fumbled on a sandwich without eating it.

"I don't know. But when I see him everything will be good."

"Isn't it now?"

Sam put his mug down and stared at Blaine, his head empty like Carol's cookie box.

Blaine took a deep breath. "It's because we haven't seen each other for so long."

"What exactly is?"

"You are really curious, you know that?"

"Of course I am! It's your happiness we're talking about."

Blaine rolled his eyes but put the sandwich down and shrugged again.

"Okay, fine. I'm not excited. If he would cancel it I wouldn't mind. I … I.." Blaine gulped. "At the moment it feels like I don't love him anymore."

Sam puckered his lips and drove his hands over his face. Was this real, was this a dream? This couldn't be happening because hadn't Blaine always talked about …

"And that soul mate thing?", Sam asked. "Did the Universe tell you anything or …?"

"No! No, it didn't. And that's a stupid way to decide things, anyway. I don't know."

"That's some strong meat, dude. Wow."

"Why are you surprised? Weren't you the one who always said I shouldn't rush into things?"

"Yeah, but you did nonetheless."

"True." Blaine shrugged and finally bit into his sandwich.

When they watched 'The Grinch' Sam couldn't concentrate on it at all. Luckily he had seen it several times before so when Blaine commended on something Sam could answer because he knew what was going on. But wow. Things with Blaine and Kurt really weren't as happy as he had thought all the time. Maybe Artie had been right and Sam actually stood a chance? Oh wow.

* * *

_ December 20th, Friday: 5 days until Christmas _

Blaine's fingers have never trembled more than now when he took the pink envelope from his locker. He hadn't dared to hope that there would be another. But this couldn't go on forever. The anonymous writer hurt himself by loving Blaine who couldn't love him back and Blaine wouldn't want more love letters when they didn't come from someone he adored. As nice as it was it wasn't something that would work on the long term.

Blaine read it during lunch break in the library.

"Dear Blaine. I would be honoured if you took a few minutes out of your day to listen to me. I can't rest until I revealed myself to you. Don't be afraid, I don't expect anything from you. I just want you to know who I am and if you turn around on the spot I'll neither be angry nor would I blame you. On Sunday the 22th at 2 p.m. I will be waiting in the pavilion in the Ostrich park, carrying a red rose. It would mean the world to me if you decided to show up. In any case I won't be writing you anymore and I want to thank you for your attention. Your secret admirer."

Now … what? Seriously? He… wanted to show himself? The riddle would be solved?

Only … would it be good to go? After all Blaine would have to reject him and he didn't want to hurt people. Pondering about that he went to the cafeteria. Sam had gotten him lunch but Blaine only noticed it by the by, head heavy in the clouds. Until Sam nudged him, that was.

"Dude! What is going on?"

"It's … he wants to show himself, Sam. The letter man. He wants to meet me."

"Oh."

"I can't go. What would Kurt think? And anyway, I'd have to reject him and that … I would break his heart! Granted, I also would if I didn't go…"

"Well, let's see. Kurt only comes to Lima on Monday so he wouldn't know. And about the heart breaking … yeah. I guess the writer knows the risk."

"Yes", Blaine mumbled. He took his fork and picked up some noodles. Sam was probably right. And Blaine seriously would like to know not only who loved him but also who was able to write such beautiful letters. And thank him for the compliments given. Yes, he had to do that.

* * *

When Blaine came home he didn't throw his school bag into the darkest corner of his closet as Sam had advised him to. School would continue in two weeks, that was almost nothing. And he would get Sam to learn some History during it. Maybe the day after New Year's because school would be approaching again and Sam would see the necessity of learning.

Tomorrow Blaine had to accompany his parents to the airport to get Cooper who had decided to come earlier and then probably the rest of the day would be just listening to him talk about his work. Blaine could so do without that but hey, it was Christmas, the season to be nice to annoying relatives.

With the expectation of Sunday it would be easier to bear with. Blaine didn't know what he was looking more forward to, getting to know the anonymous writer or spending the afternoon with Sam. Oh, he had forgotten to ask Sam if they could meet a bit later on Sunday because –

Wait a minute.

Blaine let his phone sink and stared at his duvet. Sam had … He had said that since Kurt would arrive on Monday he wouldn't know that Blaine had met his secret admirer. But Blaine had never said on what day the meeting was. He hadn't, he was sure he hadn't! Or was his mind playing tricks with him now? Had he? Sam couldn't have known otherwise, so Blaine had probably said it.

But … he was so sure he hadn't. He had been too occupied with wondering whether he should go. And if they had talked about Sunday they also would have talked about meeting later than initially planned, right?

Blaine heard himself laugh unbelievingly.

But this wasn't funny.

What was happening?

He drove a hand through his hair and raised the other with his phone in it, Sam's contact on the display.

"Sam, what is going on?", he whispered. He couldn't just call him and ask if he knew the letter sender. Or if … it was him.

Blaine opened his mouth to get more air into his lungs. He knew it couldn't be but he  _ wanted _ it. He needed it. He needed Sam in every possible way. As his best friend, as his confidant … as his lover. He loved Sam. He was in love with Sam. Not Kurt. Sam.

Blaine tossed his phone away and put his hands on his face, squashing it hard. What was  _ wrong _ with him? Why couldn't he keep being in love with the person who returned his affections? Instead he fell for a straight friend. It had been a nice fantasy in the beginning but at which point had Blaine taken the wrong turn that had led to  _ love _ ?

He wiped over his eyes and stared at the lights on the window. There was no point in denying it anymore. He had to tell Kurt, had to … Blaine gulped. Break up. Oh gosh. Was there really no way they could somehow make it work? Like he told Kurt about Sam and then they would wait until it faded away.

Except that … No. What was the point in that? Holding on to a relationship that had been great once, hoping it would become great again while his soul was yearning for someone else? No. No more clinging to the past. Sam had been right; Blaine had put way too much energy into it.

It was Christmas. The unspoken rule was that you didn't break up with people on Christmas especially when they had already lived their worst nightmare on this very day and now overcame that for the sake of being with you. He would have to wait until after Christmas.

But it couldn't be Sam who had written those letters. Blaine forbade himself to hope that. He would only be disappointed like hell when he saw the real writer on Sunday. Blaine would thank the writer for his affections, spend the afternoon with Sam while hiding his love and broken heart, then spend Christmas with Kurt while pretending everything was alright and break up with him … maybe next week or so. Not that this was a nice thing to do but it was better than to ruin Kurt's Christmas, wasn't it? And after that Blaine would crawl up in bed and pity himself and his choices regarding love. He would never get happy because apparently he was masochistic as could be.

_ Coming up next _ : IT'S REVELATION DAY. Unfortunately it's also the day Kurt arrives …

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if anyone reads it here but I will post very fast now so the story is up in time fore Christmas. :-)


	8. Love and break-ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for reading. For this chapter I advice you to listen to Christina Perri's A Thousand Years (on repeat^^) - you will not regret it. ;-)

 

_December 22nd, 4th Advent Sunday: 3 days until Christmas_

* * *

Sam felt like vomiting. Since he had woken up way too early he had rushed through the house, done housework without Carol telling him to, had jumped through his room (practising body rolls just in case it would be required) and failed at any attempt to eat something. Every time he was convinced to be on his way to calm down his eyes fell on the single red rose standing in a vase on his desk and the whole business started again.

Today was the day.

Hopefully Blaine wouldn't be too disgusted or shocked. Hopefully he wouldn't run away screaming. Hopefully Sam would at least get a little pity kiss, he wouldn't mind that at all.

Around noon his phone rang.

"Good luck! We believe in you!"

"We?"

"I'm at Ryder's."

"As usual. So are you two now dating or…?"

"No, it's just for Christmas."

"Uhu."

"Anyway, we wish you all the luck in the world and that at the end of the day you and Blaine will be a couple!"

"I highly doubt that. If things haven't changed since Friday he's still with Kurt. But I'm not very pessimistic about that. Only eighty per cent."

"Wow, big words. Let us know, okay?"

He promised he would, hang up and ran to the living room to tell Carol about Marley and Ryder's Christmas affair that wasn't really an affair.

"Sam, you are a bit on the edge today, mildly spoken. What is going on?", she asked.

"What is going on? Nothing is going on! What would be going on?"

She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Alright, something is going on! It's important and life altering and I can't tell you about it! Happy? I'm gonna go and empty the dishwasher now. Oh. Before I forget, can I burrow the truck later?"

Blaine had yesterday sent him a text to ask if they could (officially) meet at three p.m. today and of course Sam had agreed, good hearted as he was. He just really hoped Blaine wouldn't freak out when he saw it was Sam. Especially since Sam hadn't succeeded in telling Blaine that he was in fact bisexual. But hey, he would figure that much, right?

Already at one p.m. Sam grabbed his guitar and drove to the park although it was only a fifteen minute ride. Then he sat in the cold December air, watched the white trees and the frozen lake and now and then some strollers, mostly couples, walking by. Some threw him a look because he had his guitar with him but quickly realised he wasn't playing. He had to get his hands out of the gloves early enough. He kept glancing at the rose that lay beside him and hoped it was obvious enough.

Oh God. His lungs stopped working and his brain fell into a coma when a lonely figure walked towards the pavilion. As soon as Blaine was close enough to make eye contact Sam started playing without breaking mentioned contact.

_I have died every day waiting for you._  
_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_  
_For a thousand years._  
_I'll love you for a thousand more._ (Christina Perri; A Thousand Years)

Blaine had stopped on top of the stairs, hands in the jacket pockets and his eyes glistering. Sam couldn't tell what he thought, whether it was good or bad. And he had to talk now. He laid the guitar aside, took the rose as well as a deep breath and stood up. There were no words in his head and he felt like he was stuttering nonsense as he opened his mouth.

"I didn't know how to tell you, Blaine. But yes… I wrote the letters and I meant every word. I know you don't love me and that's not why I'm telling you anyhow. It just needed to get out. I want you to know, that's only fair and… well, I hope you forgive me…" Sam fumbled the rose and forced himself to look at Blaine now and then, expecting his friend to scream at him any second.

But Blaine looked to the ground, drove a hand over his mouth and shook his head.

"Forgive you what?", he asked as he looked back at Sam.

"For not telling you earlier. Or for telling you at all since you're still with Kurt. I don't know."

"The letters were…"

"Marley helped me with the spelling", Sam quickly said. "That's why I hang out with her so much."

"Oh. She… how nice of her."

Sam nodded. Blaine cleared his throat.

"Well, I meant to say that the letters were really moving. Thank you."

Sam nodded again. Blaine looked to the lake and Sam took a deep breath. No pressuring Blaine now. No letting it get between them. Or any awkward behaviour. Sam stepped to Blaine and offered him the rose.

"That's for you."

"Thank you", Blaine said again. He pulled his bare hands out of his pockets and took it. Then he held on to Sam's hand and squeezed it.

"Really?", he whispered. His face changed from distant to vulnerable, eyebrows raised and a silent tear escaping one eye.

"Is this real, Sam? How… when…?"

"I don't know when exactly but I realised it when you were proposing to Kurt. You know my luck with timing." Sam smiled warily.

"And about the how… Well. How could I not? You're loveable and cute and perfect. How could I not?"

Blaine wiped away another tear with the hand that was not holding the rose.

"So you're not straight."

"I tried to tell you, I just… somehow only nonsense escaped my mouth when I wanted to say that I'm bi."

Blaine started to sob. He freed his hand and turned his back, shoulders shaking. Sam raised a hand and hesitated a second before putting it on Blaine's shoulder.

"Don't be sad! It will not come between us just like your crush didn't!"

"I'm not sad, Sam. I'm happy. But… oh. I just can't believe this."

Blaine laid the rose on the balustrade of the pavilion and turned around again. He took a step and before Sam knew it he was pulled into a hug. Of course he gave in, put his arms around Blaine's waist and rested his face in his neck. So Blaine didn't hate him! Oh thank God!

"I love you, Sam."

"I'm glad. I couldn't have borne with anything else."

"No", Blaine said. He pulled back to look into Sam's face. "I mean I love you. I love you, too."

Sam's eyes widened and his breathing sped up. Luckily he still had his instincts so he didn't have to rely on his brain that seemed to be frozen like the lake.

"You… do? I mean… Kurt?"

"No. You."

"What about Kurt though?"

"I will break up with him after Christmas. Can you wait until then?"

"Oh. You… for me?"

Blaine nodded and smiled. First a tiny bit and then frantically. He pressed Sam against himself once more and patted his back. Sam closed his eyes and never wanted to let go. Not only because he liked Blaine but also because his knees were weak like jelly right now. This… this… Blaine loved him? Wow.

"This is gonna be so weird", Blaine said when he stepped back. As soon as the body contact was broken he quickly took Sam's hand again.

"I will wait", Sam said. "But you have to apologise this…"

He gently put his free hand on Blaine's jaw. The others eyes fell half shut.

"Don't, Sam. I'm afraid… that…"

Sam's thumb caressed Blaine's cheekbone. Due to the cold his lips looked so red, so delicious, so perfect. Blaine closed his eyes completely and leaned against Sam's hand.

"I'm afraid that I won't be able to stop after one kiss", he whispered.

Sam gulped down the salvia gathering in his mouth. He wouldn't do anything Blaine didn't want, no matter how hard it was.

"Okay", he said equally quiet. "I'd rather wait for a mistletoe anyway."

Blaine chuckled. He opened his eyes and connected with Sam's.

"When you come back from Kentucky we can be together. It's just a few more days."

"Right. What's that after waiting many months?"

"Yeah." Blaine stared at Sam's lips for a few seconds. Then he cleared his throat and stepped back. He adjusted his jacket, took the rose and inhaled deeply. He stretched out his hand again.

Sam couldn't stop grinning. He grabbed his guitar, pushed the gloves in his pockets and took Blaine's hand. They didn't meet anyone on their way alongside the lake, snow gnashing under their shoes. A few sparrows were gathering around an aviary that stood under the trees to the left.

When they arrived at the street they let go of each other. Sam put the guitar on the passenger seat of the truck and leaned against the door.

"We're still going to spend the afternoon together, right?"

"Do you think that would be wise?"

"Blaine, don't make my last Advent Sunday miserable! I won't even touch you at all if you don't want to. Just let me be with you."

Blaine's eyes watered up and he nodded.

"Let's go to your place. My house if full of Cooper", he said.

"Alright. Just know that Finn will be arriving today so it's not too quiet either."

"At least we'll have some time to ourselves, right?"

"Yeah." Sam grinned in happiness and he wasn't able to turn it off when he was in the car or when he had parked and took out his guitar.

He had about five minutes while Blaine parked his car at his house and would walk here so Sam rushed upstairs and quickly pushed some sweaters under his bed and put the comics into a neat pile. Blaine had been here a thousand times before but somehow this felt like the first time ever.

Next stop: kitchen. They had to have some food here. And drinks.

"Sam? Are you back?", Carol called from the living room.

"No, I'm still outside", Sam mumbled as he took a pot out of the cupboard. Blaine had made him hot cacao so he wanted to return that favour. He got some milk and searched for chocolate. After opening two cupboards he lost his patience.

"CAROL WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE?"

A few seconds later his host mum came into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?"

"Making hot cacao! Blaine is on his way here."

Carol opened a cupboard and put a tin in front of Sam.

"Instant chocolate powder? That's not how the Anderson's do it!"

"Well, it's how the Hummel-Hudson's do it. Blaine won't mind, he and Kurt have drunken it often enough."

Sam bit his lip. Mentions of Kurt weren't supposed to hurt him so he would ignore that for now. Just when he put milk into a cup the doorbell rang. He jumped and spilled the milk.

"Crap!"

"Sam, is everything okay?"

"Yes, yes. Totally. I'm just a bit… well, it's almost Christmas, I'm excited."

This excuse seemed good enough for Carol. When she left the kitchen Blaine entered. He wore a red sweater that reminded Sam of the scarf he had bought him. He had forgotten to give it to him but who could blame him. The excitement had been too much.

Blaine greeted Carol on her way out and then locked eyes with Sam.

"It's… I just have instant chocolate powder", Sam said.

"That's okay."

He threw a glance back to the closed door, then walked towards Sam and put his arms around his waist. Sam relaxed and laid his hand on Blaine's shoulder, nuzzling against each other.

"I missed you", Blaine said.

"It was ten minutes."

"Exactly."

Sam chuckled. He closed his eyes and gently caressed Blaine's hair. If this moment could only last forever he would be happy for the rest of his life.

The doorbell rang again. Blaine lifted his head.

"Finn already?"

Sam threw a glance at the clock. "Well, it's almost three and he said afternoon, so I guess that's him."

Blaine sighed and stepped back.

"But he's going to talk to his parents anyway so we can say hi and go upstairs", Sam said.

Loud noises pealed out from the hallway. They went to it and Sam had the first real heart attack of his life. Additionally his feet stopped working and his guts twirled around.

There was Kurt.

"Look who's here!", Carol exclaimed as soon as she saw Sam and Blaine. As if they couldn't see it for themselves. Sam looked at Blaine who opened and closed his mouth in shock.

"Surpriiiise! Finn picked me and Rachel up on his way here so we could arrive a day earlier! Wasn't that nice!?"

Finn was here, too. He waved at Sam who didn't react. But he had to, he had to get his shit together now and _do_ something. So he wearily raised a hand.

"Oh – I – I hadn't thought I see you today, yeah, what a surprise", Blaine said.

Burt put his hands together. "Come on, I'll help you get the luggage."

He and Finn went outside, Carol hugged Kurt and asked him if he wanted a drink. When she had rushed to the kitchen Kurt stretched out his arms and grinned at Blaine.

"Well? How's that? Four days for us!"

"I…" Blaine looked like a lost puppy. He glanced to Sam way too obvious, so Sam nudged his friend while swallowing down any wallowed up emotions.

"He's overwhelmed from joy", he said. Then he cleared his throat and gestured behind him.

"I'm gonna help Carol so… you two… uhm… yeah."

It felt like walking against a strong current and big fishes that were trying to make him turn back but eventually Sam arrived in the kitchen and closed the door behind him. He leaned against it and closed his eyes. They were kissing right now, weren't they? They were doing what Sam still wasn't allowed to. But he shouldn't complain; he soon would be. Soon.

"Sam! What is going on?"

Suddenly someone touched his shoulders. Sam opened his eyes and took the tissue Carol reached him. Despite her question she looked insightfully at him.

"I'm sorry", she whispered.

Sam blew his nose and shrugged. He knew he couldn't talk about it without giving away something. So he went on making hot cacao.

For the first time this day he didn't explode from zest for action and his hands were calm. But now his mind started to spin, reviewing everything from the last hour. One hour only but it had changed his life so much already.

How come Blaine loved him? Not that Sam didn't believe him but he needed to understand. If Kurt hadn't arrived they would be talking about it right now. Yes, Blaine had uttered some doubts about his relationship with Kurt but he had never hinted that he liked Sam. Hopefully this wasn't just because he had missed Kurt.

Sam bit his lip. Don't think into this direction. It wasn't like that. Blaine was a very sensible person and if he hadn't been sure he had never told Sam about this. In the beginning of the year he wouldn't have talked about his crush on Sam if he wouldn't have made him.

"Hey, dude! How's it going?"

Finn hit Sam's shoulder and he forced himself to smile as he turned around and hugged his friend.

The evening would've been very pleasant if Kurt hadn't had his arm around Blaine most of the time. They all sat together in the living room, eating, drinking, burning candles and talking about what has been going on since the last get-together. There even was a fire burning in the fireplace and Sam caught himself way too often staring into it and not listening to the conversation. One time he got a pitiful look from Carol and another time Finn asked what was on his mind. Sam tried to avoid Blaine's eyes, though. He was sitting on the other couch with Carol and Kurt and it wasn't easy to not look at him.

"You boys must be tired after riding in the car the whole day", Carol said at some point.

"Oh, I'm okay. I'm so glad to be here", Kurt said. And grinned at Blaine. It was sickening, really. Especially when Blaine returned the smile.

"Well, I'm tired", Sam said and got up. "Excuse me."

* * *

It was wrong, just wrong. Pretending wouldn't make Kurt happier in the end, would it? Though it was surprisingly easy. The confidence they had with each other was still there and kissing Kurt felt nice. Not breath-taking or world-shaking but nice. Still, Blaine leaned back from it soon and distracted Kurt with questions about his band.

Later he saw the look on Sam's face when they were in the living room. To say an iron fist pressed the air out of his lungs would've been an understatement. Blaine's feet were restless and moved all the time, flouncing on the ground, changing the sitting position, crossing his legs. He didn't get up and hugged Sam like he needed to. But when Sam left the room without even looking at Blaine he couldn't hold back anymore.

"Excuse me too, I…" He made a vague gesture and hurried to the hallway. Footsteps were on top of the stairs already. Blaine took two steps at the time and knocked against Sam's door.

"What?", Sam asked.

"Can I come in?"

No answer so Blaine carefully poked his head inside. Sam was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"I know it's unfair. It's hurting you", Blaine said as he got in and closed the door. He leaned against it and took a deep breath.

"It's not your fault. It's okay."

"No, it's not. I don't want you to hurt, ever, but especially not because of me."

"Yeah, well, love hurts whether it's right or wrong."

"X-men?"

"Avril Lavigne." Sam sighed and sat up, rubbing his hands over his face.

"Look, I get it. You can't break up with Kurt the day he arrives home for Christmas, a day that he hates but now celebrates for you. I wouldn't do something like that, too. It's horrible."

Blaine leaned his head against the door and watched the ceiling. It was ridiculous keeping up those few feet distance between them but he couldn't do anything else.

"I'll call my Dad to pick me up tomorrow already. I can't spend another day with Kurt around."

Blaine nodded. He was about to say how sorry he was for that inconvenience when a knock came from the door he leaned against. Sam gestured him to open it.

"Hey, man. Everything okay? You seemed a bit smitten."

Blaine let Finn come in, exchanged another look with Sam and then went outside. On top of the stairs he met Kurt who grinned and took his hand.

"Perfect timing. I need to show you something in my room."

Of course the thing Kurt needed to show him was his mouth. Blaine felt it on his own as soon as the door was closed. Kurt pressed him against it and his body against Blaine.

It was a knee-jerk reaction and in the same moment Blaine did it he wanted to stop himself but it was too late. He pushed Kurt away too hard and got a shocked look for it.

"What the hell?"

"We haven't seen each other in months and that's what you have planned for the first time we're alone?"

"Yes, Blaine, because I missed you and your touch. I thought you would be thrilled. Why aren't you thrilled?" Kurt crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

Blaine dreaded that look. It had always meant that he had done something wrong. Well, maybe it still meant that but now didn't care so much anymore. He crossed his arms, too, and withstood it. But then he didn't know what to say. He wasn't thrilled because he would rather lie in Sam's arms right now.

"Well?", Kurt asked. "Is there something you want to charge me with? Being distant, not calling often enough, what?"

"No…" Blaine put down his arms and bit his lip. Make it okay, say something to make it okay! Anything!

"I…"

Kurt frowned. Then he sighed and sat down on his bed.

"There is someone else, isn't there?"

"What? No! How can you… You know I wouldn't do this to you. I wouldn't cheat again."

"I didn't say you cheated. And when it's not someone else than what is it?"

Blaine opened his mouth. But he still didn't know what to say and he couldn't even imagine spending the next few days as Kurt's happy boyfriend.

He cleared his throat.

"You… promise you won't be upset if there is someone else."

"You mean if I'd be upset then there isn't anyone?"

"Yes."

Kurt snorted. "Do I know him?"

Blaine went to sit next to him on the bed and propped his arms on his legs.

"Oh God, Kurt, I wanted to wait until after Christmas before I tell you. You came here for me, you… you hate Christmas and you…"

"Seriously, Blaine, you still think you're responsible for everything I do and feel? You're not. But… Why are you acting to dramatic? It's a crush you have on somebody, that's it, right? We're not breaking up over such trivia."

"It's not trivia", Blaine mumbled. He wished he could take back the last minutes and begin again. Not push Kurt away. But that would be cheating on Sam, somehow it would be.

"Oh my God!" Kurt stood up and paced the room. Then he confronted Blaine.

"Talk."

"There's not much to talk about! It's the classy story. A couple tries the long distance thing but grows apart from each other without realising it because it happens so slowly and one day you wake up and are in love with someone else."

Kurt kept quiet and that's maybe the scariest reaction Blaine could've gotten. He didn't dare to look at him for many long moments and when he did Kurt looked as hurt as Blaine had never wanted to see.

He instinctively got up and approached him but Kurt stepped back and raised his hands.

"Get out."

"You have to believe me, I didn't intend to. I wanted us to work forever, Kurt, I tried so hard!"

"I can't believe this. And you dared playing along all the time? How long has this been going on? Did you lie to my face and secretly laugh at me? And you wanted to let me believe everything is good even longer? I… This is even worse than cheating, Blaine. Just get out, and don't you dare show up here ever again."

"Kurt…"

Kurt shook his head and turned his back. Blaine hadn't left any other option than to leave the room. In the hallway he started crying. He had never wanted to hurt Kurt. How did this happen? How could things change that drastically in almost no time?

From Sam's room came some laughter and gaming noises. Blaine closed his eyes and clenched his fists, mind still wrapped around Kurt's hurt face. He couldn't face anybody now, he needed to be alone. Sam would be okay with Finn in there. Right now all Blaine wanted was loneliness.

* * *

Sam's phone buzzed. It was probably Ryder or Marley, wanting to know – oh, oops, he had promised to tell them. In a minute. First he had to defeat Finn in this Mario Party Mini Game.

"You lose, ha!", he said when he had done that.

"Damn! I'm rusted. Give me another chance", Finn said.

"Dude, it's not my fault you're not practizing your gaming skills."

"You're just afraid to lose", Finn claimed.

"Ph, I will never ever lose this baby game. Just let me…"

Sam got up to grab his phone from the desk. In doing so he threw a glance to the door but he had forbidden himself to think about what Blaine and Kurt were doing right now.

Then he saw that the text was from Blaine. _I broke up with Kurt but I need to be alone tonight_

"He… oh." Sam's fingers were faster than his brain. _Talk to me I'm ur friend befor anything else_

"Something going on?", Finn wanted to know. He grasped the bag of chips lying on the ground and ate some.

"Yeah, apparently… Blaine has broken up with Kurt."

Finn's face fell apart. "What?" Then he jumped up and out of the room. Sam's gust burned up when he thought about that he was supposed to be sorry for Kurt now, too. On the other hand he was Blaine's best friend so people would not be surprised if he was on his side, right?

_I broke his heart. I'm such a bad person_

_No ur not. We've been ther remember_

_This time is different._

Sam rolled his eyes. Before he could answer Finn came back in the room, sighing.

"Kurt won't open his door. What happened?"

"I… don't know the details", Sam said. And another lie.

"Well, they'll get back together, soon, right? It's Christmas. And they're soul mates."

"Yeah. I don't know."

"But you do know something, right?"

"I know that Blaine had some doubts in the last months already."

Finn's eyes widened. He really seemed to be as shattered as if somebody had just broken up with him. Sam didn't know what to say. He scratched his neck and looked at his phone. Eventually he just wrote _please don't beet yourself up_ and then sat on his bed, staring at the paused TV screen.

"I don't know about you but I could use a drink now", Finn said. Sam nodded so the older boy went out again. Was Christmas ruined now? For Kurt, for Blaine, for Finn, for everybody in the family? Was this Sam's fault? He should have waited to tell Blaine he loved him until after Christmas, shouldn't he?

"Do _you_ know who it is?"

Suddenly Kurt was standing in his door. Sam had never seen the boy that wound up, with red eyes and tousled hair.

"I'm ready to fight, you know. This can't be the end of us, we've been through so much! Blaine _proposed_ , for heaven's sake! Am I supposed to think that meant nothing? Or that it was as shallow that it could fade away in a few months?"

Sam gulped. He didn't want to fight Kurt. Or anyone.

"Dude, there you are! What happened?"

Luckily Finn showed up, a bottle in his hand and the other on Kurt's back. Kurt looked at him without any expression.

"He said he's in love with somebody else. But I won't go down without a fight."

"Are you sure he wasn't lying? Sam said something about doubts. And who should Blaine love more than you anyway?"

"Leave me out of –"

"What did he say, Sam, tell me everything!" Kurt hurried to him and sat down on his bed. He drummed against Sam's arm so that he leaned back.

"I can't – that's Blaine's business! Whatever he told you will be the truth."

"But come on! If there was anybody else people would know. _You_ would know, wouldn't you?"

"I… I…" Both Finn and Kurt were looking so expectant at him, it was horrible. He was the bad guy, the traitor, the _enemy_. If they knew they would throw him out of the house in no time. Sam knew what it felt like losing his home and he didn't want that again.

"I can't tell you", he eventually said. Kurt snorted, threw his hands in the air and rushed out. Finn sat down and kept looking at him.

"But there is someone? And it's serious?"

Sam cleared his throat. "Yes."

Finn fixated the bottle he kept between his knees. "I would have never thought… I mean…" He shrugged with a loss of words. Then he opened the bottle that looked like it was wine and drank from it.

"How will life go on now?"

"Uhm… nothing will change for you", Sam reminded Finn.

"Yeah, yeah, no. But for Kurt. And he's my brother so of course I'll suffer, too. Especially when I'm in the room next to him, you know?"

Sam forced a smile on his lips, nodded and glanced at his phone. Why hadn't Blaine texted yet? But he needed space and alone time. Totally normal. He had just left the person he had been on and off with for about two years, of course he would need time to grief.

* * *

Coming up soon: Blaine is heart-broken about Kurt… but he won't change his mind about Sam, will he? Mrs Anderson has something to say, as well as Finn, and Kurt just won't give up on Blaine!

 


	9. Best pavilion ever

_December 23rd, Monday: 2 days until Christmas_

 

"Blaine, honey? I made you soup."

"I don't want anything!"

"I also baked scones."

Blaine pulled the blanket over his head. His mother was so annoying. Every hour she offered him food. He wasn't a baby! If he wanted to eat he could go downstairs and do it.

She knocked at the door again. "They're still warm!"

"No!"

"Alright, I'll ask you again later."

The look on Kurt's face. When Blaine closed his eyes he saw it and when he stared into space he saw it, too. It wouldn't go away and was coupled with the stabbing knowledge he was the initiator of it. Plus good moments with Kurt kept popping up in his brain and everything just hurt. He had lost him forever. And he shouldn't indulge in another relationship; he would only cause Sam pain sooner or later.

A few hours later after much crying and some sleeping Blaine scuffled into the kitchen. He ate a sugar snowman from the gingerbread village, a scone with peanut butter, one with Nutella, peeked at the soup and decided he didn't want it and cut himself off a piece of cheddar. Before he could take it upstairs his mother entered the kitchen. Of course – she had a sixth sense for when someone was in this very room.

"Honey, I'm glad you're up! Have you thought about a plan to win him back? I still don't understand why you broke up with him in the first place."

"I told you I'm in love with someone else."

"Are you sure about that? Think really hard. This is _Kurt_ we're talking about. Remember how you talked about your wedding? And the children you would adopt and the house you would life in? The things you planned to do together. You loved him so much and I think you still do."

"You don't know anything, okay?"

"Not in this tone, young man! And anyway, who is that mysterious 'other one'? As far as I know you haven't been seeing anyone. It's just an excuse, isn't it? Oh honey, that's called cold feet!"

"It's not like were planning on marrying tomorrow! And no, I haven't been seeing anyone because that would've been cheating, wouldn't it? Love can happen despite everything."

"No, honey, it can't."

Blaine hadn't enough energy left to be upset. He shrugged and went back to his room, crawling into bed again.

* * *

In the evening came another knock on his door. Blaine sat in his bed and watched TV although he wouldn't be able to tell what was going on if someone asked him.

"It's me, Sam. Can I come in?"

Sam? Oh. Blaine's throat got dry. His room was a mess, _he_ was a mess.

"If you're not afraid of chaos."

"Dude, you have seen my room", Sam chuckled as he came in. He closed the door and put his hands together.

"How are you?"

Blaine shrugged. "Not good. I hadn't thought I would be that down."

"But that's normal. Breaking up always hurts. It's the process of letting go you're going through now", Sam said. He took a few careful steps towards the bed.

Blaine smiled at him, feeling a warm spark of hope inside of him for the first time since it had happened.

"You're so clever."

"I googled it", Sam said.

"Of course you did. Come." Blaine glided aside and patted next to him. Sam settled down under the sheet. After a few hesitating seconds he put an arm around Blaine and Blaine gave in, leaned against his warmth and closed his eyes. He had been home all day so why did he just now feel like arriving there?

"Finn and Kurt interrogated me", Sam whispered into Blaine's uncontrolled hair.

"And?" he whispered back without opening his eyes. In fact he got a bit sleepy. His dreams had been horrible so far but maybe in Sam's arms he could rest peacefully.

"I didn't let anything on but it _was. so. wicked_. I felt like the enemy within. So awful. How can we ever tell them about us? I mean I live with Kurt's parents. It can't get worse."

"Don't worry, Sam. We'll get there at some point."

"Kurt will kill me. No, worse, he will fight me. He said he won't go down without a fight and is on a mission to find out who 'the other guy' is."

"He is?" Blaine lifted his head and looked at Sam.

"Do you feel flattered about that and will go back to him?"

"No."

"I feel so terrible when Kurt talks like that."

"Well, you'll go to Kentucky soon and when you're back he'll be gone if that's any consolation."

Sam waggled his head. Blaine observed his fair brows, the laugh lines around his eyes, his eyelashes, his thick lips… Sam was perfect, wasn't he? How would it be to kiss him? Were they there yet? Were they even a couple now?

"…you have to drink, don't mind the not eating but drinking is important!" Suddenly his mother came in without knocking. Sam stiffened and took back his arm.

"Here, Sam, hot chocolate as requested! Make him drink, will you? Honey, I open a window, the air in here is so sticky! How can you… there."

She had put a tray with mugs onto the bed and now pulled his window fully open. Immediately freezing air and some snowflakes came in and Blaine pulled the blanket around him.

"Are you kidding, I'm going to die!" he said.

"Don't be such a wuss, you know you farther doesn't like that."

"Could you please knock next time?"

His mother looked surprised at him. "I forgot it one time, honey, one time. And my hands were full. It's not like Kurt was here, so what are you afraid of? Oh, Sam, have you heard the news, of course you have! So sad, isn't it? Can you believe it, Blaine claims to be with someone else. But I'd know if he were. Mothers always know things like that."

Sam nodded politely. For someone who claimed to think Blaine's mother was awesome he didn't talk very much to her. She was on her way to the door already.

"Close the window in a minute, will you, Sam? Before Blaine _dies_." She chuckled. She closed the door halfway and opened it again. The scariest thing about it was that she didn't say anything and her eyes actually paid attention to Blaine, Sam, and Blaine again. Her mouth formed an O and…

"Blaine, can we talk in private?"

Oh my God. She had addressed him with his name, things were getting serious.

"I'm in my PJs and it's cold and…"

" _Now_."

She turned around and went but left the door open. Blaine knew better than to stay where he was.

She was in Coopers room. Blaine's brother spend all day downstairs eating and watching commercials that included him so they wouldn't be disturbed here. Still his mother closed the door behind Blaine and put her hands on her waist.

"Please, _please_ tell me you didn't leave Kurt for _him_."

"Why do you say it like that? Sam isn't…"

"Did you?"

Blaine puckered his lips and looked to the floor.

"Sam is a naive, lonely boy. Do you really think he _loves_ you? Like Kurt does? Do you really think this could be going somewhere? Or that he will actually stay gay when he goes to college and meets girls that play in his league? Blaine Devon, I'm really disappointed in your choices. What could possibly have made you …? Is it because Kurt's in New York? You will be too, just a few more months. Why don't you ask him to take you back, I'm sure he would if you apologize and tell him it's because you were lonely. I see how hard you take the break-up, honey, if you would only open your eyes and realise at whose side you _really_ belong…"

In the beginning she had spoken fast and angry, now it turned into pleading. Blaine hadn't had any chance to interrupt her but now he used the opportunity of her inhaling.

"No to all of the above. You're wrong. Sam loves me and I him. And don't tell the Hummel-Hudson's about this, Sam isn't ready."

"Oh, no, of course he isn't. Honey…"

"Promise me you won't tell them."

His mother rolled her eyes. "For the beginning I won't say anything. But you have to talk to Kurt once more. Things can't stay like that, you'll learn that soon enough."

"Whatever", Blaine said. He went to his room and slammed the door behind him. The window was closed but the air still felt icy. Not that Blaine minded it since he felt hot enough to walk through snow with bare feet due to his anger.

"I can't believe her!"

Sam turned his head – the only part resting against the head of the bed while his neck was bended almost ninety degree and his body was lying under the blanket – to Blaine.

"Why?"

"She – she just told me I should leave you and go back to Kurt."

"What – how did she know?"

"She asked me straight away and I didn't deny it. She's like… the cliché evil mother! She should support my decisions, right?"

"Doesn't she like me?"

"No, I mean yes, of course she does, it's just… she thinks Kurt is… more appropriate for me."

"Oh."

Blaine sighed and rounded the bed to get in. But when he wanted to pull the blanket back up Sam got up.

"I think I should go if she doesn't want me here."

" _I_ want you here."

Sam knotted his hands. "I don't want to cause you trouble. And I need to get packing anyhow."

"Well… will we see each other tomorrow? When will your Dad arrive?"

Sam shrugged. "Around noon. But where could we meet before?"

Blaine sat up, his ears still feeling hot.

"We can go to the park?"

"Okay." Sam inhaled and nodded. "I'll pick you up but I'll wait in the car."

"Oh, come on, Sam, my mother doesn't hate you. And she'll get used to it. She has to because I won't change my mind about you."

"Thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for."

"Okay. Well." Sam waved warily and looked so cute that Blaine could only grin. When Sam was gone he put the blanket over his head and tried to blend out all the bad things. Not only his mother's craziness but also Kurt. Oh God. The whole world had conspired against him.

* * *

"Shit, shit, shit", Sam mumbled as he opened the front door. He should've kissed Blaine Goodbye. He had wanted to. But they hadn't started the whole kissing thing yet and Blaine wasn't completely over Kurt, too, so his chickening out might have been the best for now. Yeah. And their first kiss had to be special. With Christmas spirit and fireworks around (as well as inside of) them and angels singing Hallelujah. Something like that.

The atmosphere in the house felt sick even when no one was around. Sam just hoped he wouldn't meet Kurt on his way upstairs. He knew that Kurt would soon see it in Sam's eyes. He would point his finger and scream "Traitor! You are my worst nightmare!" and then jump Sam, possibly bite him, too, and maybe there even would be blood. Finn would separate them just in time before Sam would die (why did he imagine Kurt drinking all his blood now?) and together they would take Sam's weak body outside to the garbage tons.

"Sam?"

Oh God! Sam jumped around when he was in the middle of the stairs.

It was Carol. Even worse, because she knew already. She knew about Sam's love and she had heard that Blaine had left Kurt for _someone_ else. Now every time she looked at him her eyes said _'are you sure you know what you're doing?'._ At least that was how Sam interpreted it.

"Finn and Kurt are ordering Italian, do you want some?"

"I'm not very hungry so… I…" He gestured upstairs. He could sneak something out of the kitchen later.

But Carol lifted her eyebrows in an empathetic look.

"Come on. You're departing tomorrow, spent the last day before Christmas with them."

What could he say to this? Nothing. He found them in Finn's room. There he sat. Kurt looked even more miserable than Blaine. While Blaine had also looked cute and adorable (and smelled so good!) Kurt just looked like he had cried a lot.

Sam sat down in the desk chair and ordered a pizza. This evening would be a long one, wouldn't it?

Ryder had texted him a few hours ago to ask how things were. Sam pulled out his phone and checked nobody could glance at his screen and wrote back _awsome becose he wants me but also awful becose he broke up with kurt and I life with him right now_

_But hey yey! The letters worked!_

Sam chuckled and put his phone in his pocket. He met Kurt's look.

"Was that Blaine?"

"No, Ryder."

"But you were at Blaine's earlier, weren't you? How is he?"

Sam shrugged. If he said 'not so good' Kurt would think that was a good sign. If he said 'good' that would be a lie and Kurt would feel even worse.

"Well, you know… break-ups aren't nice…"

"So he's devastated?"

Sam sighed. "Kind of."

"Sam, you have to talk to him. He'd listen to you rather than to me. Ask him why he thinks someone else would be better for him. Remind him of everything he loves about me, I mean, he told you, right? Remind him of the fantastic marriage he had dreamed of. Everything!"

"I…"

"Dude, do you really think Sam could change Blaine's mind? Give him some space. Maybe he'll come back, maybe not, it's his choice", Finn said. Sam threw him a grateful look.

"Maybe it's the same as with Rachel and me and he needs to make other experiences and be _wild_ before he ends up in your arms", Finn said.

Well, now Sam just looked at his hands and didn't say anything. That sounded depressing. That wasn't what is was, was it?

"You think?" Kurt's voice sounded hopeful and made Sam's stomach sick.

"Yeah." Finn shrugged-nodded. Kurt grinned and leaned back, rubbing his hands together.

"Okay. Good. Apart from the fact that you and Rachel still aren't back together and yesterday she made me sit on the passenger's seat to avoid you you're right. How didn't I think of that? I was with Adam but Blaine hasn't been with anyone. He needs a little side track, alright."

"I'll be going to Rachel's later so…" Finn shrugged but everybody ignored him.

"Didn't he say he's in love?" Sam said. He couldn't sit here and listen to that. He would either start to cry or would try to not feel anything and become numb while doing that.

Kurt waved it aside. "It can dissolve soon enough. Maybe he talked himself into it because I've been away all the time."

Finn bit his lip. "Why, Sam, how has Blaine behaved lately? Do you think there's more to it? Has he talked about it?"

"Uhm… not really, but…"

"See!" Kurt cried. "He didn't even tell Sam about it! Now how serious can it be I ask you?"

"Well, but what if it _is_ Sam?" Finn said.

Sam's throat locked and he couldn't breathe anymore. Kurt's testing eyes lay on him.

"Nah... I don't know. But if so it's even better for me, right? Cause then it's a silly, unreturned crush."

"Why would it be a silly crush? Don't talk things down just because you don't like them!" Sam said before he could hold back. He immediately bit his lip. Shiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Kurt opened his mouth, frowned, leaned back and forwards again. The silence in the room got a bit too thick and Sam was sure they could hear his heart rushing. He gulped.

"I mean… you don't know how Blaine feels. About whoever it is. Don't put your hopes into it not being serious."

"I was not talking about 'whoever'. I meant if it was you. And since you said you don't know who it is you also can't claim to know whether it's serious or not. If Blaine honestly would be with someone you'd knew, right?"

"But Sam knows", Finn said. "Yesterday when you left the room he said he knows. Right, Sam?"

Sam inhaled deeply. What had he told Finn? Nothing, really. Just that there was someone. Oh, all that hiding was so… couldn't he just tell them? He'd leave tomorrow anyway.

"Yes. I know there is someone and from what I heard it's not a silly crush."

"I thought Blaine hadn't talked about it?" Kurt said.

"He didn't have to."

"Let's just… wait and see, okay?" Finn interfered. "And please, don't let Christmas be ruined by that. Life goes on."

Kurt snorted but didn't say anything. Luckily he got the pizza when it came so Sam didn't have to endure being alone with him. After the meal Sam excused himself because he had to pack his suitcase for tomorrow but he couldn't keep Kurt's voice out of his head. What if he and Finn were right and Blaine needed a little adventure before he would end up with Kurt? How would Blaine know for sure to be done with Kurt when they hadn't met for so long and now they hadn't even spent time together? Wasn't that rushed?

Should Sam give Blaine more time? Maybe over Christmas he could sort out his feelings. When Sam wasn't around but Kurt was maybe Blaine would realise that's how things needed to be.

* * *

_December 24th, Tuesday: 1 day until Christmas_

 

The morning sun was cold but golden. It's was the best weather for the day before Christmas, it made the snow glitter and the trees sparkle. Blaine had avoided his parents before he went outside although he now sent them a text saying he would be back soon. Then he put on gloves and watched his breath until the Hummel-Hudson's truck drove around the corner. Immediately his pulse sped up and his lips formed a bright smile. There he was!

The whole night Blaine had lain in bed and thought about what he had done to Kurt. Or relived the best moments with him, and yes, missing those times. But he knew it was long over and when he had realised that he had stopped holding on to them for good by breaking up with Kurt his heart had lifted up and decided that life wasn't that bad.

Actually, it was pretty good. He had started to understand that the thing with Sam wasn't a dream. It was real. Sam wanted him! Just to think of that warmed up everything inside of Blaine. It made him close his eyes and sigh with pleasure. When Sam was around everything was good and full of love. Blaine didn't want to spend Christmas without him, that wouldn't be Christmas at all. But his parents would never let him go with Sam to Kentucky, especially now that his mother knew and clearly disapproved.

"Hey Blainers, up already?"

Blaine jerked around. Damn.

"What? It's ten! I'm not the one usually sleeping till noon!"

"Calm down, man!" Cooper closed the front door just when Sam's truck parked at the side walk. Cooper lifted his hand and waved him.

"Ah, I see", he said with a grin.

"Did… did Mum…"

"She didn't talk about anything else yesterday and now she can't stop going on about it, too. That's why I decided to meet up with some old friends. I have to say, Blainey, I never expected you to break up with Kurt – well, with anyone – and stand your man. That's what I call having a spunk! I think I was a good role model for you!"

"Yeah, sure", Blaine mumbled.

"I don't know much about Sam. Will he admire me like Kurt did? Because everything else is optional, really."

Blaine shook his head in disbelieve. His brother would never change, would he?

Cooper laid an arm around Blaine's shoulder and guided him to the street. Sam had gotten out of the truck and leaned against the door, hands in his pockets and carefully smiling at Cooper.

"Hey, Sam, buddy!" Cooper let go of Blaine and hugged Sam whose face in response to that made Blaine laugh.

"You two are the cutest gay couple ever. Believe me, not all gay couples are cute, I've seen some on TV. Hey, if you ever need my help sneaking away from Mum or something let me now." He clacked his tongue and pointed at Blaine.

"Uhm, thanks, I guess", Sam said.

"There is something I'd like to do that she won't approve of but first I have to talk to Sam about it."

"What is it?" Sam asked.

Blaine shrugged. Cooper was still here, listening. But Sam wouldn't take his eyes from him so eventually Blaine stepped closer and kept his voice down.

"If you want to… I'd like to spend Christmas with you and your parents."

"Oh… No, you can't do that."

"No?" Blaine stepped back, the breathlessness of rejection creeping up his guts. Why didn't Sam… didn't he want to spend time with Blaine? Was something wrong…?

"Oh, well, lovers quarrel! I'm not up for that. See you later, alligator!"

Blaine didn't react to Cooper. His footsteps went away.

"It's not that I don't want it, Blaine", Sam said.

"Oh. Well. It's not that important", Blaine said. He lifted his shoulders. "I was just thinking…"

"Let's get into the car, it's freezing."

They did. Only then Sam didn't start the car but gazed out of the window.

"Don't get it wrong, okay? It's just that I want to give you time."

"Time? For what?"

"For… Look. Finn and Kurt said… that… well, maybe… anyhow, I think you should think about it. Maybe with Kurt around you realise you want him after all. I wouldn't blame you."

Blaine frowned. Sam didn't make any sense.

"Where does this come from? Sam…"

Blaine took of his gloves and leaned over to reach for Sam's hand. Finally the blond looked at him.

"I don't need time to make a decision. I already made it."

"But now Kurt is around…"

"So what? I broke up with him."

"Way too fast, though."

"It was over for a long time, I just hadn't realised it."

"He wants you back."

"I don't care! I only want you!"

"So it's not a silly crush?"

Blaine narrowed his eyes. "No. Did Finn and Kurt tell you that? I… I think we should talk about it. But not after Christmas. When we will be separated it's even more important to clear that up now. Are you sure you don't want to come in? My mother won't disturb us, I promise."

Sam puckered his lips and glanced to the house.

"We can also talk in the park, of course", Blaine said, not wanting Sam to do something he was uncomfortable with. He squeezed his hand.

"Hey, we'll go to the pavilion and claim it as ours, alright?"

* * *

The weather had attracted some strollers to the park, mostly families or old people. A few kids were running in circles in the pavilion when Sam and Blaine climbed the stairs. But soon their parents called them. Sam and Blaine sat down on the bank while Blaine realised this more or less public location would probably prevent physical affections again. That wasn't good. How could they build up a couple feeling that would stop Sam from doubting Blaine's feelings when they never kissed?

Apart from the fact that Blaine really wanted to kiss him. He wasn't bound to anyone anymore, he actually could. And he had dreamed about the touch of those lips often enough, now he wanted to taste them for real. But first things first. With his eyes directed to the defrosting lake Blaine searched for words.

"It wasn't the letters", he began. "I think I never really stopped liking you after last year but I sure as hell suppressed it. I put so much energy into making it work with Kurt. But it came up every now and then. Well, alright, then the letters that made me realise it. I caught myself wishing it was you who wrote them. Of course I thought that was complete nonsense and I pushed it away, too. Until the last one, when…"

Blaine shook his head and chuckled. "Sam, you gave yourself away."

"I did?"

"In school you mentioned that Kurt wouldn't know about the meeting because he arrived on Monday but I didn't tell you that it was on Sunday."

Sam distorted his face and Blaine laughed more.

"Yeah, well, I still wouldn't believe it but it ripped away the locks I had put on my heart and my feelings overwhelmed me. I wanted it to be you so badly and I realised I couldn't go on with Kurt, no matter if you would return my feelings or not. I would've broken up with him anyway."

"Oh! Really?"

Blaine nodded. "And now... Reading the letters, knowing you wrote them… wow."

"As I said before, I meant every word."

"Why did you think I'd push you away? We've been down the crush road before and it hasn't done us any harm."

"I just was afraid. And it wasn't… isn't a little crush. I wrote you how hard I've fallen and…" Sam looked down, his cheeks getting too red to blame the cold for it.

"It's embarrassing", he said.

"You don't have to be embarrassed." Blaine stroked over Sam's shoulder and leaned a bit closer.

"I feel the same", he whispered.

Sam took a deep breath and nodded. "Wow. That's… great. More than great."

He broke into a bright grin that sprung from his face and climbed also on Blaine's. Oh gosh, Sam was so lovely, cute and adorable it brought tears of joy into Blaine's eyes. They really were together now! This wonderful boy was his boyfriend and they could cuddle and kiss and be close and always be together… oh wow.

"So… Now how do you intend to persuade your parents to let you spend Christmas in Kentucky?" Sam said quietly.

"You want me too?"

"Of course I want you to! I just thought you needed some time… but when you say you're sure…"

"I am."

"Well, let's go! What are you waiting for, we need to talk to Cooper!"

"I don't think he actually can…"

But Sam had jumped up already and walked down the stairs.

"Are you coming or what?"

Blaine sighed and smiled over his boyfriend's enthusiasm.

* * *

_Coming up_ : Sam tries to smuggle Blaine out of the house but Kurt catches them. They talk to Blaine's mother, will she let him go? And maybe … maybe there will be a Blam kiss involved somewhere…? (I mean it _is_ Christmas after all.)

 


	10. Have yourselves a merry little Christmas

 

How awesome would it be if Blaine could be in Cincinnati with him for the Holidays? Yes, that's right, pretty awesome! Sam was even willing to meet Mrs Anderson and negotiate this to the blood.

"I really don't know how Cooper could help here", Blaine said as Sam parked the truck in front of the Anderson's house.

"He'll think of something, he's your awesome big brother!"

Blaine snorted. "You think everybody of my family is awesome when they are not."

"I'll just ask my parents if the guest room is free", Sam said, getting out his phone. Of course it would be free, that wouldn't be a problem.

"There he comes, wow, he really kept true to his word", Blaine said. Sam put his phone away and took a deep breath. Ready for battle!

"Who's your friend?" Blaine asked when Cooper arrived in front of their house. He laid his arm around the brunette girl next to him.

"This is Martina and she's here to help me proof a point."

"Uhu."

"Just let me do the talking, Blainers."

"What's your plan?"

"Just… let me do the talking."

They went inside. Sam's hands trembled a bit because maybe Mrs Anderson would throw him out of the house. Hell, maybe she'd even get Mr Anderson to do it and Sam would fly out high and land hard, swallowing snow and dirt.

Then he found himself in the Anderson's living room where it always smelled like pipe even when Mr Anderson wasn't in the house. He was now, though, reading a newspaper in his armchair while Mrs Anderson knitted on the sofa.

"Oh, what's going on? A party? If you had just said something before, I would've prepared food!" she exclaimed when the four of them came inside. Cooper, Martina and Blaine sat down on the couch but Sam didn't want to risk the Anderson's anger by sitting too close to Blaine so he decided to sit on the floor. It got him a weird look from Blaine but he shrugged it off.

"No, Mum, I wanted to ask you something", Cooper said.

"What is it, honey? Do you want to watch another commercial?"

"No", Cooper said. "I mean, yes, I do, maybe in a minute. Look, I brought a girl over."

Mrs Anderson shortly nodded to Martina.

"She's my girlfriend now and I want to spend Christmas at her place. Would that be okay?"

"Of course, honey. Christmas is a special time that you want to spent with your loved ones. As long as you spend some days of your vacation with us it will be okay. And _you_ are always welcome in this house, darling."

The last words she said to Martina. Sam gulped down any feelings regarding the fact she had never said this to him. Really not important.

"Good! Because I lied and it's Blaine who wants to spend Christmas with his beloved one. Thanks for answering it", Cooper said. He hit Blaine on the back and grinned at Sam.

"What? That is something different! Blaine is under age!"

"So? He will be supervised by Sam's parents."

"Parents that can't even care for their own son!"

"Hey, that's –", Sam began but Blaine was faster. He jumped up.

"That's not fair! Sam's Dad lost his job, it can happen to anybody! And they are back on their feet now, Sam only stays in Lima for his friends!"

Sam got up, too, because sitting on the ground in a fight made him feel powerless.

Before Mrs Anderson could answer Blaine's farther put his fist on the table.

"No fighting on the day before Christmas!"

He went back to his newspaper and for a few seconds it was quiet in the room. Sam wondered how Blaine could've grown up with such strange parents and still became the most loveable person on the planet. Mrs Anderson leaned back on the sofa and sighed dramatically while she took up her knitting.

"Come on, let them have this. They just got together", Cooper said. "Or at least that's what I assume because Kurt's out of the picture since… yesterday?"

"Sunday. It happened on Sunday", Mrs Anderson said, shaking her head. "Blaine, honey, it's still not too late to beg him for forgiveness."

"Sam is right here, Mum!"

"I'm sure he's just being a good friend anyhow, so that you're not too lonely without Kurt."

"Are you even listening to yourself?"

"I am not", Sam said. For the first time Mrs Anderson looked directly at him but somehow he found the courage to speak on.

"I'm not doing him a favour, ma'am. I'm in love with your son and I don't care what you think about us or me or Kurt, for that matter. If necessary I fight for him."

"The youth of today, always so _theatrically_!" Mrs Anderson said, rolling her eyes.

"Well maybe…" Mr Anderson put down the newspaper and looked at his wife. "Maybe we should let Blaine make his own decisions? He is almost eighteen after all."

Mrs Anderson shook her head, Cooper and Blaine shouted "Yes!" and Sam sat back down again.

"He is so naive", Blaine's mother said. "He needs Kurt."

"Right now he doesn't."

Mrs Anderson glared at her husband. "Don't disagree with me!"

"The boy needs to make experiences, Carla. Live his life and whatnot."

Mrs Anderson narrowed her eyes at her husband. For a few seconds it was silent then she inhaled angrily (and yes she could do that) before she put down her knitting.

"Alright. I'll prepare a food basket. And you're not home later than Saturday, you hear me?" She shook her finger to Blaine and got up to leave the room.

What just happened? Did she just… agree? Would Blaine be with Sam over Christmas? According to the grin on Blaine's face and the high-five he gave Cooper it must've been like that.

Sam jumped up again, arms in the air.

"Yes! We won! Yeeeees!" He spun around himself until Mr Anderson reminded him that the porcelain figures in the show-case behind him had been pretty expensive.

"It will be so great!" Blaine said when he hugged Sam. Sam didn't want to let go but then everybody was busy all of a sudden. Blaine talked about packing, Cooper about switching on the TV to what Martina agreed and Sam's phone buzzed with his Dad's ID.

"I'm there. I mean I will be in five minutes", he said into the phone. "Did Mum talk to you about the guest room?"

"No, what about it?"

"Will it be free for the Holidays? Can I bring a guest?"

"A guest? What guest? Sam, why don't you come to the Hummel-Hudson's and we talk about it."

"What's there to talk about, yes or no!"

"For all I care yes but let me talk to your mother first."

Sam rolled his eyes. Why did parents always have to make things so complicated?

"Sam, sit down and enjoy the show!" Cooper said as Sam had hung up.

"No, I… have to help Blaine with the packing."

"Uhu, packing, of course." Cooper winked. Sam shook his head and left the room but before he could go upstairs Mrs Anderson grabbed his sleeve and pulled him into the kitchen. On the table stood the biggest basket Sam had ever seen. If was full of fruits, vegetables, cans, pasta, chocolate, a gingerbread house… and right now Mrs Anderson looked for a space to put a bottle of wine into it.

"Listen, Sam", she said. "I want you to listen to me, are you listening?"

Sam nodded and added: "Yes, ma'am" because that sure would impress her.

"Ah! Perfect!" She stepped back from the basket, turned to Sam and bored a finger into his chest.

"I let you have him for Christmas. But you have to be aware that he's confused and will go back to Kurt soon. You are aware of that, right? And what are you doing, Sam? Mh? Wouldn't you rather have a sweet girlfriend that is easy to take care of? Blaine can be so complicated. You don't strike me as the type who'd thrive in complicated relationships. Much like my other son you are a woman's man, so use this skill of yours! I can see you with a family and a house in a few years. You'll have a happy, white-picked-fence-life!"

"I don't plan my future, Mrs Anderson, I just go with my feelings."

"And that is exactly what you must _not_ do!" She sighed and patted his head. "You both are so young and inexperienced. You'll learn soon. You'll learn. It's good that you're going to see your mother. She'll talk to you about Blaine, too, I'm sure. Well, now, this basket is Blaine's present for your parents for being so kind to let him stay with them. I figure you can fit it into your car?"

"Uhm, yeah", Sam said, ignoring everything she just said. She didn't know anything, not about him, not about Blaine… right?

Sam hurried upstairs to Blaine's room where the black haired was busy jumping on his suitcase.

"What are you doing?" Sam chuckled as he watched it.

"Trying to close it?"

"Damn, Blaine, what did you pack? It's only a few days."

"Sweaters, shirts, jeans, a suit just in case, you know, scarfs, gloves, beanies, pyjamas, toilette articles, my lucky pillow so I don't get homesick, a cloak, socks and underwear of course… did I forget something?"

"Bathing clothes in case it gets hot all of a sudden?"

"Bathing clothes? Do you want to go swimming? Oh fudge!" Blaine rushed to his cupboard and the suitcase sprang open. Sam went to it, put a shirt and a present back in and held it closed.

"Stop, Blaine! Just close this thing and we're ready to go."

"You sure?"

"Pretty sure I don't want to go swimming on Christmas, yeah", Sam said.

Together they succeeded clothing the suitcase and brought it downstairs. Blaine said goodbye to his family while his farther carried the food basket to the truck and put it onto the storage area. When they finally were in the car, leaving the Anderson's house behind them, Blaine sighed heavily. Sam would have, too, but he was busy driving as carefully as never before so he wouldn't lose the basket. Luckily it was only a few blogs.

"Wow. I would've never thought they allow me to go. Wow!"

"We have to thank Cooper for that."

"And my Dad."

"Certainly not your Mum", Sam mumbled. Her voice still echoed through his head. _Blaine is confused. He will go back to Kurt. You will lead a boring white-picket-fence-life with some dumb woman._

His Dad's car stood in front of the house and Sam parked behind it. He opened the door and wanted to get out when Blaine said: "I'll wait here."

Sam closed the door again and turned to Blaine. "Should I ask Finn to distract Kurt? I mean you don't have to wait in the cold car, come on."

Blaine shrugged. Sam got out his phone and called Finn. It took some time but finally he answered.

"Hey dude." Some background noises made Sam think that maybe he wasn't home.

"Hey to you too. Where are you?"

Finn sighed. "In the mall. Since hours already! Kurt said he wanted to get a pair of boots. Little did I know that he still had to decide which one!"

"Oh… well, I'll be gone already when you get home so have a nice Christmas!"

"Can't you wait until I'm back? I need to give you your present."

"What present? I didn't get you a…" Sam bit his lip. Crap, he should have. And Kurt, too, oh shit.

"No biggie! I got some coupons for Breadstix because guess what, the son's owner is in my freshmen year."

"Cool. But it can wait until after Christmas, can't it?"

"Well, if Kurt doesn't decide for some shoes in the next five minutes it will have to. Merry Christmas, man. You're back for New Year's, right? Rachel is thinking about staying longer and throwing a party, don't tell Kurt yet."

"You are with Kurt right now."

"Oh. Yeah."

"Well anyway… I'll be back to New Year's! See you soon!"

"All clear, Finn and Kurt are at the mall", Sam said after having hung up. It fitted perfectly because he could do without Kurt questioning the fact why Blaine would spend Christmas in Cincinnati and not with his family.

He hadn't seen his Dad in such a long time, it felt like forever. It was so good to see him sitting there with Burt and Carol in the living room. Sam rushed to hug him while Carol immediately reacted to Blaine and asked him if he was okay. Then she insisted on a meal and went to the kitchen.

"Have you spoken to Mum now?" Sam asked his Dad.

"I have, son, I have. Is this who you want to bring?"

"Yeah, this is… Blaine." Sam laid a hand on Blaine's back between his shoulders as he shook hands with Dwight.

"You want to get away from your family, Blaine?" Dwight laughed. Blaine laughed, too, and Burt, they all laughed. What a happy round.

"Okay!" Sam clapped his hands together. "I get my suitcase and –"

"Now wait, Carol just prepares some food and your farther has been in the car all morning. He could use a break", Burt said.

"He just had one", Sam stated.

"Those ten minutes? Come on. Now, Mr Evans, have you seen the game on Saturday?"

"Call me Dwight!"

Sam rolled his eyes and turned away. All he wanted was to be alone with Blaine and now he sat here on the Hudmel's couch and had to eat. Yeah, okay, eating wasn't that bad but still…

Just when Sam had made friends with the situation – Carol had brought some fine Sandwiches and he got to sit beside Blaine – voices came from the hallway. Sam stiffened but it was nothing compared to Blaine who let his Sandwich drop.

"It's Kurt", he whispered. Sam quickly laid a hand on Blaine's knee.

"You'll get through it."

Blaine put his hand on Sam's and pressed his fingers a bit too hard.

Carol got up and went outside, closing the door immediately behind her. Sam hoped she would avert the danger.

It seemed to be. The voices faded and Sam relaxed a bit. Blaine picked up his Sandwich from the floor but his hands were still trembling. They really should get going now.

"Duuude!" Finn came in, holding up a present that sure as hell didn't look like there were coupons in it. It was square, for starters.

"Oh, hey, Blaine, I didn't know you… Are you here to talk to Kurt?"

Finn sat down on an armchair and gave Sam the present. He eyed it suspiciously.

"It's thick."

"Yeah, maybe it's not a coupon. Don't open it before the 25th, okay, bro?"

"Damn, Finn, I don't have anything for you, that's not fair!"

"I accept late presents as well." Finn laughed and greeted the other men in the room who only shortly interrupted their conversation about a hockey game.

"No", Blaine said.

"What?" Finn turned his head. "Oh. No? Then why did you come to the Lion's den?"

"For Sam. I mean, Sam's Dad, I mean…"

Sam laughed (hopefully now awkwardly or something) and nudged Blaine's arm.

"Blaine wants to get some fresh air over the Holidays so he's coming with me to Kentucky."

"Really?" Finn's eyes wandered back and forth between the two of them a bit too often but then he nodded contentedly.

"Awesome. I hope you have a great time."

Sam grinned. Hey, he was allowed to be happy to get to spent time with his best friend!

"Alright then", Dwight said. He stretched how arms. "Where's your luggage, Sam? Should I get it for you?"

"Yeah, I can show you my room", Sam said. "It has been the guest room but they gave it to me, how great is that?"

"Very great", Dwight nodded.

"Well, your Dad pays for your rent so it's not that nice", Burt laughed.

"Wha – what? I didn't know that."

"Of course I do. As soon as I had a job I started sending money to Mr and Mrs Hummel-Hudson and not just your pocket money", Dwight said. He stood up. "Now where is it?"

"You coming, too?" Sam asked Blaine who shook his head.

"I'll stay here with Finn. I like Finn."

"Good for you, man!" Sam put his hand on Blaine's back and stroked with his thumb over his shoulder. Blaine smiled warmly and Sam had to restrain himself from leaning forward. He swallowed down his desire and got up, too.

His Dad approved of Sam's room although he asked where the Christmas decoration was. Sam pointed out that the reindeer teddy on his bed was all Christmas he needed in his room.

"I am going to put it into the car. Where's your friend's luggage?"

Sam told him where it was and went to say goodbye to his host parents. And to Finn. He would skip Kurt for the sake of Blaine, though.

Well. At least he indented to.

"Sam? Are you going?" Kurt came down the stairs. Sam turned around and went a few steps back upstairs to prevent Kurt from coming down further.

"Yeah, I am. Have a nice Christmas, buddy!" Sam hugged Kurt – which was weird when he thought about it because he had only done that once before. On the fatal engagement day, to be exact, and with his mind full of the intense feelings for Blaine that had stirred up, too.

Kurt hesitated and then hugged back.

"Already in the share-the-love-mood, huh? You, too.

"Yes! Okay, so… see you." Sam leaned back. Kurt nodded and tried to get past him.

"Woah, dude, some private space here?"

"Then move your ass, Sam." Kurt pointed downstairs. Sam bit his lip and tried to think of something that he needed Kurt to do upstairs when the front door that had been left ajar opened and his Dad came inside.

"Alright, we're good to go. Hello!" He nodded to Kurt. "Are you the Hummel-Hudson's other son?"

"Yes, I am. Mr Evans, I assume?"

Kurt pushed himself past Sam and shook Dwight's hand. They wished each other a Merry Christmas. Sam wondered whether Blaine could leave the house via the back door. Yeah, that seemed like the perfect plan.

"Sam, get your friend so we can go!"

"Your – your friend?" Kurt said, eyes narrowing at Sam. He ignored it.

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do", he said.

"What do you mean, you see what you can do? Has he changed his mind?" his Dad asked.

"No", Sam said. "But…"

"Oh, I smell departure in the air!" Now Burt came into the hallway and it got full. "Ready?"

"Absolutely", Dwight said. "Can you tell Blaine we're going?"

"I think he got it", Burt said. He and Dwight chatted on and this time it was Sam who tried to get past Kurt. But the boy grabbed his arm.

"Blaine is going with you? Why?"

"To get out of Lima, Kurt, that's why."

"But… it's Christmas. And I wanted to… to pay him a Christmas visit."

"Guess that won't be possible then."

Sam freed himself and got to the even floor. Now Carol, Blaine and Finn appeared on the door and it got really crowded.

"Well, Dad is right, we should be going", Sam said. In a hurry he hugged Burt and then Carol, waved to Finn and took Blaine's hand. He so didn't care what people thought – if they'd see it at all here where everybody was right next to each other. He took his hand and pulled him through all people, not minding Kurt's gaze that followed them.

* * *

Blaine first didn't know what exactly was happening but the fact that Sam took his hand in front of everybody made his heart do the Cha-cha-cha. Then he met Kurt's pleading eyes and everything that had been hot froze in a second. He pulled back his hand and stopped.

"Kurt, I'm really sorry it had to happen that way and… now. On Christmas. I'm so sorry!"

"Can we… can we talk in private?" Kurt asked.

Blaine took a deep breath. "Why? Everything has been said."

"Not everything."

"I…" Blaine turned his head to Sam who gestured him to go.

"We can wait a few more minutes, right, Dad?"

Mr Evans was okay with that. Blaine thanked Sam with a grateful look for his patience and kindness and general perfectness, then he followed Kurt upstairs.

"It's not really serious, is it? I mean you wouldn't leave with Sam if your lover was as important to you as I used to be", Kurt said when they were in his room.

"Kurt… This isn't about whether I have someone else or not, not only. I don't think we work anymore."

"Oh, is that so? Than why did you _propose_ to me just half a year ago?"

"Much can change in half a year."

Kurt shook his head and sat down on his bed, arms crossed.

"No. I refuse to accept this. You said yourself you want us to work out. The distance came in the way, and that's why you looked at someone else but when we will be in New York together…"

"Be honest, Kurt. Did you miss me? Did you dream about me, or did your heart flutter when you thought about me? Because for me this wasn't the case anymore. I held on to you because of how it had been in the very beginning."

"Of course the stage of being in love can't always be there! That's the long-term part in 'long-term relationship'!" Kurt said.

"Maybe it can't always be heavenly but I for my part think it at least should involve admiration at any stage of the relationship."

Kurt bit his lip and stared into space. After a few moments he looked up.

"Who's the other guy?"

Blaine shook his head.

"No, Blaine, you owe me that much. Someone from school? Someone from the neighbourhood? Sebastian?"

"Oh come on, now you're getting ridiculous. I really can't tell you. Except that it's not Sebastian."

"Why can't you tell me?"

"He isn't out yet, okay? And it's private. You only want to know so that you can blame someone. You always find reasons to blame someone else but yourself, did that ever occur to you?"

"That… well, _you_ left _me_!"

Blaine shook his head again. He didn't want to have a never ending discussion about who had made what mistakes. It was over. And funny enough he wondered why on earth he hadn't ended it much sooner. But he couldn't change the past.

"Just… think about it", he said when he left the room. He took a deep breath in the hallway and when he came to the stairs a weight fell from his shoulders. He left Kurt behind. Not only physically but also on the timeline of his life.

* * *

After endless hours on the road (maybe it wouldn't have taken six hours if they hadn't stopped so often at gas stations on which Sam had to check out every single candy that they had) and lots of talking to Sam's parents and siblings they finally retreated to their rooms. Blaine was tired and easily could've slept but at the same time he had missed being alone with Sam and didn't want to miss out on that tonight. Especially when tomorrow was Christmas and some relatives would show up and it would be a full house.

Blaine knocked at Sam's door.

"Can I –"

"No, Blaine, don't come in, don't come in!"

"Uhm, okay. Then I just…"

A loud rumbling followed by Sam's cry.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked.

"I think I broke my ankle. But I'm okay."

"Sam, I'm coming in now", Blaine said. He put his hand on the door knob but didn't do anything until Sam said: "Okay."

The blond sat on the floor, holding his ankle. In front of him was a white ladder from that he apparently had fallen.

"What the hell were you doing?" Blaine asked. "Wait, don't answer that before I haven't gotten you a cooling for your foot. Do you have some cooling units?"

Blaine managed to get some from the Evans fridge without being seen and having to answer questions he couldn't answer. Back upstairs he gave it to Sam who sat on the bed now, and told him to hold it to his ankle.

"I think it's just a swell. But what…" Blaine looked to the ladder. A hammer was lying on the top and something green, too, but that was the only clue.

"I tried to hang-up mistletoe", Sam mumbled.

Blaine shook his head. "I've seen one in the living room, isn't that enough?"

"Well…"

"Mh?" Blaine stroked over Sam's lower leg.

"It's not like we can kiss there", he eventually said.

Blaine's breathing got flat and his cheeks hot. Oh. So Sam wanted it. Yeah, being a couple generally included it but maybe Sam had needed more time, never having been with a boy before. Blaine would've been cool with it. Knowing Sam was his was all that he needed. But then again Sam already made an attempt to kiss him at the pavilion and maybe he wasn't that shy about it as Blaine had assumed.

"Our first kiss has to be romantic and Christmassy, Blaine. Classy. And a bit cheesy, too."

Blaine chuckled. "You know what you want, don't you?"

"Downstairs it would be perfect with the tree, the candles and those cloves spiked oranges. And maybe some music. Do you like Michael Bublé? Or better Christmas music…?"

"Well how about we wait until your parents are asleep and then sneak downstairs for our own little Christmas Eve?"

Sam's eyes lit up like the mentioned tree. "Yeah. Sounds like a plan."

"Sounds like a date", Blaine grinned.

"It so is a date!" Sam grinned, too, and held up his hand. Blaine hit it.

"I'm going to prepare everything and you're only allowed to come down when I text you", Sam said.

"Alright. Until then… Love Actually?"

They settled down on Sam's bed and watched the movie. Blaine's eyes got heavy, really heavy, so he rested them for a few minutes. Sam lightly shook his shoulder.

"Blaine, I'm going down now, okay? Don't fall asleep again."

"I didn't… I… awake." Blaine yawned. How late was it? He hadn't slept, come on!

"It's not a big deal. You're cute when you sleep. And very cuddly."

"I am not."

The bed bounced a bit and then Sam's voice flew right into his ear.

"I like it."

Blaine shuddered. He instinctively turned to Sam but he was gone already, waving from the door.

"And your foot?"

"I'm not going to die", Sam stated. "Now stop holding me up."

"I'm not doing anything", Blaine said. He yawned again and stretched his arms, feeling rested and relaxed. Yeah, okay… maybe he had slept.

"That's not stopping, Blaine."

"What, you're still here? Go!" Blaine grabbed a pillow and threw it at Sam who dodged it and left the room.

* * *

While Blaine had slept in his arms Sam had had the best idea ever. There was this Christmas song… okay, watching a Christmas movie had been inspiring for that, too. So as soon Sam had hobbled downstairs he went through the CDs. Yup, there it was.

Only now he lit the tree and the Advent wreath along with other candles and switched off all other lights, put out glasses and egg-nog and made a fire in the fireplace. That took a while because he had never done that at the Hummel-Hudson's. And the mistletoe still hung over the fireplace, good.

Alright, what else was needed?

Oh my God!

How could he forget that?

Sam hopped as fast as possible into the kitchen. They had to have some here. He couldn't go upstairs again with his foot, it was hurting enough already. But he found nothing in the kitchen. In the hallway commode? Oh come on, in the bathroom then. Seriously he had been away for some time now and his parents had already forgotten how _life-saving_ chapsticks were?

And what if Blaine wouldn't like it anyway? Maybe Sam's lips were too big for him. Or what if it would be awkward? It would be awkward, right!? Oh gosh. How was Sam supposed to know when the timing for a kiss was right? They had never been on an official date. He had to entertain Blaine now. How, what… What if Blaine wanted sex? Sam couldn't do this just yet. He hadn't even thought that far of another boy, all he knew was that he liked them. That he liked Blaine.

"Calm down, Evans", Sam told his mirror image. He searched a few more drawers and finally found an old chapstick. It had to do for now. He put some on his lips and stuffed it into his pocket. Then he took a deep breath, nodded to himself and went out.

Almost all of his weight on his good foot he positioned himself in front of the fireplace, on arm on the mantelpiece (it helped with the foot, too) and texted Blaine to come down.

Ah, shit, the music. Sam hopped to the player and started the chosen song. And back as quickly as possible. The heat radiating from the fire made the room very cosy and warm.

Blaine grinned pretty bright as he poked his head in so Sam thought he couldn't have done everything wrong. His whole body trembled but in a good way that let him forget everything else but his boyfriend. Blaine had changed into a white-red sweater that looked originally Anderson-knotted.

"Wow. Christmassy atmosphere", Blaine said as he looked around. He had been here just a few hours ago but it was nice of him to pretend.

Sam extended his arms.

"Early Christmas present for Blaine Anderson!"

Blaine laughed and Sam started singing lines from the song that played in the background.

„ _I've got the tinsel strung,_  
_the mistletoe's been hung,_  
_I've got the means of celebration._

 _I've got the lights down low,_  
_the skies are dreaming snow,_  
_I've got the Yule log burning bright._

 _And by that Christmas tree I've got you here with me,_  
_I've got the perfect Christmas Night."_

"Me, too", Blaine said. He had come closer and stood a few inches before Sam. That boy was really beautiful, the wavering light falling on him from the side. His thick dark hair, his hazel eyes, his red lips…

What if they realised they weren't couple material and kissing would be just _euw_? Or even worse if only one of them felt like that and the other liked it. What if…

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you stop thinking and…" Blaine closed the last distance and put his hands around Sam's waist, slightly nodding to the side where the mistletoe hung. Sam did the same with his hands while his heart beat up to his throat now. His lips were dry, he needed to use the chapstick again! And maybe drink some water…

Blaine stroked over Sam's hair. His fingers grazed his ear and cheek. They were soft, tingling fingers. Sam inhaled and shortly closed his eyes, enjoying the touch. His ankle burnt in response to it but he didn't mind that. When he opened his eyes again and saw Blaine's face so close he couldn't help but lean forward and let his nose touch Blaine's.

This was good, so good. Blaine's eyes spoke of so much affection and Sam knew they felt exactly the same now. Without having decided it Sam's hand wandered over Blaine's smooth sweater up to his neck. Blaine breathed loudly from the touch, his eyes half-closed. Sam let his fingertips run over Blaine's hair and eventually his thumb found a home on Blaine's cheekbone. The black haired leaned slightly against it, the corner of his mouth touching Sam's skin. Then he wetted his lips and looked at Sam again.

His eyes had changed. They burnt right into Sam's guts and Sam needed to taste him now. He let his tongue run over his own lips and moved closer, left just enough space for Blaine to retreat if he wanted to. But he didn't want to. He softly pressed his mouth against Sam's, his upper lip caught in between Sam's. Oh God. Blaine tasted like Christmas! Like cookies, oranges, cinnamon and even a bit like reindeer, in a good way of course.

Sam adjusted his grip on Blaine's jaw and took another mouthful. He might have moaned from pleasure but who cared about the details. Blaine moved back and forth and with every new touch a new shiver went down Sam's back. Blaine's lips felt like some kind of magical instrument. They sure did things to Sam's body that made him think his heart was having a prolonged orgasm.

Still, the best of all the things was that Blaine sighed quietly and captured Sam lips whenever he moved away, clearly not wanting to stop. Blaine liked it! Blaine liked it, he did, oh heavens.

"God, Sam…"

They separated and Sam tried to catch his breath, eyes still closed and the warm smoothness still on his lips. A hand rubbed little circles on his sweater and Blaine's chest moved fast against his. Sam laid a hand on the others back to hold him there.

After a few moments they looked at each other and silently agreed that kissing was all they needed now. A few pleasantly meetings later Sam's ankle started to throb and he tried to ignore it. He had never thought that there was anything better in life than the Anderson's hot cacao but that was before he had tried the Anderson's youngest son. The treat in his mouth could go on forever, pain was not welcome right now.

"How about…" Blaine pressed some wet pecks at the corner at Sam's mouth and then stayed about an inch in front of Sam's face.

"How about we exchange our presents now?"

"It's…" Sam glanced to the clock on the mantelpiece. Not midnight yet! My, Blaine had some crazy ideas today.

"Very funny", he said.

"Oh? You don't want to?"

"Blaine, it's half past eleven. Look."

Blaine glided back a bit and snorted with amusement. But he didn't look away from Sam. In fact he let his eyes glide over his whole face.

"What?" Sam wanted to know.

"You're really one of a kind."

"In a good way?"

"Of course in a good way, Sam. Come on." He nudged Sam's shoulder and let his hand glide down the arm until gentle fingers closed around Sam's hand.

Earlier they had laid all presents they had under the tree. Sam crawled underneath the green and sweet ambrosial pine branches, found Blaine's present and sat down on the sofa, everything without straining his left foot.

"Can we maybe…" Blaine hesitated to sit down and pointed backwards. "Stop hearing this song on repeat? There are other songs on the CD, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Whatever you want."

Then Sam insisted on Blaine opening his present first and watched his eyes getting big as he took out the red silky scarf.

"Wow, it's great! You… you bought me a scarf."

"Yes, that's what you wanted, right?"

Blaine blinked and looked at him. "How… well, I…"

"You wrote it on the wish list I made. Have you changed your mind?"

"Oh. No, it's great, Sam, really great. Thank you." He stretched out his hand to squeeze Sam's. Their eyes locked for a timeless moment and Sam wondered when and how it would appropriate to kiss again. Not that this was the only thing he ever wanted to do with Blaine but… well, right now it made the top of the list. He had tasted _so good_.

"Now yours! Here!"

Blaine grinned as he solemnly gave Sam a present. It was pretty obvious a CD so Sam ripped down the paper and looked at a cover with a picture of them both singing in front of the Glee club.

"I put all the songs that make me think of you on it", Blaine said. "I mean, I don't know if it's good but I had to think of something new very quickly, like before I wanted to give you a comic book and when the situation changed I… it…"

"It's perfect", Sam said. "I like songs that make you think of me."

He threw an arm around Blaine's neck and pulled him into an embrace, mumbling "Thank you" into his ear. Blaine was so soft but returned the hug firmly.

"Best Christmas ever, Blaine, I swear, that's not something I'm saying, it's true!" Sam tipped his fingers against the CD after they had separated.

"I believe you. Mine, too", Blaine said.

"But you had some with Kurt." Sam bit his lips as soon as he had said it. Bringing up the ex – never a good idea. Especially not when it sounded like he wanted assurance that he was better.

Blaine looked down so Sam quickly changed the topic.

"Now… how about some egg-nog?"

He grabbed the bottle and poured somewhat liqueur in the glasses. Then he sat back and nipped on his, eyes glued to the colourful pine tree.

Blaine cleared his throat.

"Sam? I don't want you to feel threatened by Kurt. Neither past-Kurt nor now-Kurt. I told him today that I mean it, that I would have left him anyway and that it's over between us. It really is."

Sam forced himself to nod. All he heard was Mrs Anderson. _You don't deserve Blaine._

"I was devastated because letting go always hurts. Just like you said."

Blaine glided a bit closer and slid his hand into Sam's. But it was like a switch had been turned off and it didn't feel right anymore. Before Sam could think about it he pulled back his hand and hid his watering eyes behind his glass.

"Sam? What is going on?"

Sam wiped over his eyes and shook his head. "Nothing."

"Don't you believe me, or what? Why would I lie to you?"

"I _do_ believe you!"

Sam put his glass on the table and rubbed over his hot ankle. He should put a new cooling unit on it. And not think about what Mrs Anderson had said. Blaine didn't think like that. She didn't know what Blaine would do, she didn't know him that good that she could foresee the moves he hadn't even thought about yet… did she?

"Sam, tell me about it, I beg you!"

"It's stupid!" Sam said. His fingers clenched around his ankle and made it hurt even more. "Just something your mother said."

"What did she say?" Blaine sat up straight and put a hand on Sam's arm. It made him loosen his grip and shrug.

"Something like… you need an adventure and after Christmas you'll go back to Kurt and I should get a girlfriend who doesn't demand too much of me."

It was silent for a few seconds. When Sam dared to look at Blaine he let go of his arm and jumped up.

"I can't believe – she had no right to talk to you like that. No right! What a – unbelievable!"

There were only two, maybe three times that Sam had witnessed how Blaine got angry. He just wasn't that guy. He mostly stayed calm and tried to mediate so seeing him furious now was kind of strange.

"I'm gonna call her tomorrow right away. She'll have to apologise to you."

"No, Blaine, don't ruin Christmas for her…"

"But she is allowed to ruin yours? No, Sam, no."

"Mh." Sam focused on his ankle. A second later Blaine sat next to him, a hand on his back.

"She's not right, you know that, Sam, don't you? You are not a side-trip for me."

How could Sam do anything else than nod? He believed that Blaine meant it. But if he would keep meaning it or maybe would change his mind… only the future could tell.

Blaine sighed and leaned back, tugging on Sam's sleeve to make him move with him. Sam gave in and nuzzled against Blaine's neck while the other boy put an arm around his shoulders.

"I still want to know when and how you found out you're bi", he whispered. "But only when you feel ready to."

Sam placed his cheek on Blaine's chest, ignoring the fact that he lay a bit buckled on the couch. There was a steady heartbeat under his ear and it was really soothing. Sam yawned, held his hand in front of his mouth and then put it on Blaine's sweater. The pattern on it was reindeers but that wasn't what made Sam gently caress it. The touch of Blaine under it was.

"I feel ready to but I'm tired now. Tomorrow, okay?"

Blaine nodded. He gazed at the fire that got smaller with every minute. Sam's brain slowly drifted into sleeping mode. Before he would pass out he said:

"I'm going to need something for my ankle for the night."

"Your parents probably have some ointment in the house", Blaine answered as quietly.

"Yeah."

Sam forced himself to sit up. He stretched his arms and back, then rubbed over his eyes. He could've easily slept on the couch especially with Blaine next to him. To have to go to his lonely bed now didn't feel so compelling. But then again he didn't want to ask Blaine for his company in the night, after all he could get it wrong…

"That was a nice first date", Blaine said.

"I liked it, too."

Blaine took his scarf and winded it around his neck. Then he smiled at Sam.

"You know what made me want this?"

Sam shook his head. He leaned against the couch again and lifted his hand to stroke over the texture. It was soft. As soft as Blaine's facial skin.

"A movie where a woman got a scarf from the love of her life. He was called Sam. Initially I… well, when I wrote this on your paper I didn't really think about how this was something I connected with romance. I literally asked you for…"

His eyes glided down Sam's face. Sam leaned closer, suddenly not so tired anymore.

"Yes?" he asked. Blaine lifted his eyes.

"What?"

Sam chuckled. His hand slid completely over Blaine's shoulder and then their lips touched. Slow and calm.

"No, I really can't complain about this year's presents", Blaine mumbled. Sam kept his eyes shut and his head fell to the side against the sofa back. Blaine shifted and many little wet spots were placed all over Sam's face. He melted even more.

"Blaine, seriously, tomorrow we tell my parents about us just so we can make out all day, okay?"

"Sure."

"I mean it."

"Let's talk about that tomorrow, okay?"

"Mhm, okay."

"Merry Christmas, Sam."

Sam opened his eyes. "Is it…?"

Blaine nodded. Sam grinned and used this opportunity for another kiss.

"Merry Christmas, Darling."

Blaine laughed but didn't retreat from Sam's mouth. That was good because Sam had just discovered that Blaine also tasted like egg-nog and sugar. In other words: like sweet dreams. Oh yes, Sam would have some of those tonight. He swallowed down the foreign flavour, realising it actually nurtured his body that felt more well-fed and satisfied with every moment. Genius. Maybe he didn't have to eat at all from now on and just ask for Blaine-kisses when he got hungry.

Although... speaking of he could do with a goodnight cookie.

"You know what time it is?" Sam mumbled when they separated.

"Time to sleep?"

"Time for a midnight snack!"

Blaine laughed just until Sam raised and immediately got stopped by a deep pain shooting up his leg. He sat back on the couch and cursed.

"Oh, Sammy… You know what, just go to bed. I'll bring you some food and doctoring stuff, okay?"

Sam didn't like it but what could he do. When he was in his bed, ready to sleep, he realised that it wasn't the worst thing ever when Blaine did things for him. The black haired boy bandaged Sam's ankle while Sam ate a cheese sandwich. This was the last Christmas gluttony he would allow himself, yeah, this really had to stop. Then they kissed goodnight and went to sleep.

* * *

 _Coming up:_ Sam needs to go shopping once more – what will he get Finn for Christmas? Kurt has a present for Sam as well, who would've guessed! And then Blaine agrees to Kurt's suggestion of going out. WTF?


	11. Intrusive Kurt

_December 25th, Wednesday: Christmas!_

 

Blaine had thought the whole night about the horrible things his mother had said. How could she talk to Sam like that!? Blaine was sure she had used meaner words than those with that Sam had summed it up. It was not okay in any case.

He had breakfast with the Evan's family and greeted some visitors before he went upstairs to call his parents. After the initial and very quick "Merry Christmas" he brought up his issue and demanded that his mother apologised to Sam.

"I just told him how things are, honey. Maybe you don't realise it yet but Kurt __is__  your future."

"I broke up with him!"

"Do you want to talk to your father, too?"

"Mum, aren't you listening? Sam –"

"Now, don't fight over this at Christmas, shall we? Such a silly thing. Here's your brother."

"Blaine, Blaine? I actually hooked up with Martina, can you believe that!?"

Blaine rolled his eyes. He told his brother as well as his father to have a nice holiday and then hung up, staring at the phone for a few moments. Had his mother always been that non-supporting? One thing was sure Blaine wouldn't talk to her again until she had apologised to Sam.

Blaine put the Evan's phone on his bed and took the thick silky scarf from under his pillow. He pressed it against his face, closed his eyes and smiled in memory of yesterday night. Sam. Wow. Their kisses had been magical. Just thinking about it made Blaine shudder as if he had drunk too much sparkling wine. Oh cute, sweet, lovely Sam. Who had actually written those fantastic letters. Blaine had kept them all except the first one – how he wished he hadn't thrown it away! – and read them on a daily basis. At the moment they were lying under his pillow, too, because that was the ultimate hiding place for romantic things.

Sam had put much thought and effort into them and Blaine wanted to return the gesture. Especially since he knew Sam had still some doubts whether Blaine would go back to Kurt. It wouldn't matter what Blaine's mother had to say. When Sam knew for sure that Blaine would stay with him she could talk all she wanted and it wouldn't make a difference.

Blaine went back downstairs to the family gathering. New people had arrived and he greeted them, telling them their name. Then Sam's grandma who he had already introduced himself to came to him.

"Merry Christmas, my Darling!" She hugged him and Blaine patted her shoulder.

"Uhm, thank you. Again."

"Who are you, by the way?"

"Blaine Anderson, Mrs Evans."

"Ah. Yes." She nodded and left the room. Sam grinned at him from the couch so Blaine went to him and sat down on the armchair next to him due to shortage of space.

"She's demented", Sam explained.

"Who would've guessed?" Blaine returned his boyfriend's smile and inconspicuously leaned against him. As expected Sam wasn't as eager as the evening before to come out to his whole family anymore. But Blaine didn't mind. As long as they were together everything was good.

* * *

 

_December 27th, Friday: 4 days until New Year's Eve_

 

Blaine hadn't wanted to leave already. Why couldn't they stay in Cincinnati until the New Year's Day? Yeah, his parents had said he should be home by Sunday but they weren't Blaine's favourite persons at the moment anyhow.

Still, the Evan's car just pulled into the Anderson's driveway, making his arrival final. Blaine sighed but Mr Evans was very good spirited.

"Home, sweet home, eh, Blaine?" he said.

"Uhu."

"It was nice of your parents to let you spend Christmas with us, wasn't it?"

"Yeah… And I'm really grateful you let me stay, Mr Evans, thank you!"

"Sam's friends are always welcome in our house." He grinned and patted Sam's shoulder, then turned around to Blaine.

"I get the basket out of the trunk."

Blaine nodded. He didn't know whether his mother wanted the empty basket back but the Evan's had insisted on it.

"Best Christmas ever", Sam stated what seemed the hundredth time today. He turned around. "Will you come over tonight or do you need a break from me?"

"I'll come over. That is… when Kurt's gone, only."

"I think he is but in case he's not I text you."

Blaine threw a glance out of the back window where the top of the trunk was open. Mr Evans couldn't see them. So he quickly leaned forward and met Sam's delicious lips for a few seconds. He missed the taste of them already when he leaned back.

"See you tonight", Blaine said. Then the trunk was closed with a loud clang and he got out of the car.

Sweet home, my ass. He waved one last time to Sam before the door separated them. Blaine stood in the empty hallway and sighed once again. If he sneaked up to his room he could avoid them for a few hours. But that sounded so sad. His family normally wasn't one that made him want to hide from them. Well, most of the times not.

And at least Cooper was still here, Blaine had seen his car in the driveway. Wow, who would ever have thought that he would be glad that his brother was in the house? So Blaine let his suit case stand in the hallway, took off his winter clothes and made his way to the living room. Only his parents where here, though.

"Honey! We missed you. How was it? Are you okay?" His mother tried to stroke over his head but Blaine leaned away. He was too old for that, come on.

"Yes, I'm okay. Sam is, too, thanks for asking. Except that you still need to apologise to him."

"Apologise? For telling the truth?" She shook his head. "Let's just wait and see how things develop, shall we?"

"Hi Blaine", his farther mumbled behind his newspaper.

Blaine just shot his mother an angry look and went to his room. She was the one who should wait and see – that he meant it serious with Sam. Why did she love Kurt so much, anyway? Just because they had shared some interests like fashion, cooking and gossip while Sam was more into guy things? That's such a lame thing to decide about whom she would want her son to marry!

Blaine cleared his throat. Not that he was thinking about marrying Sam. He would not think about that matter for at least ten… well, okay, five years from now on. Pinkie swear with himself!

Now. Let's think about romantic gestures that could convince Sam that Blaine would stay with him. But before Blaine could even start thinking his phone buzzed with a message. _'Kurt is still here needs break from NY u call rachel and tell her to bring him back or shall i?'_

Blaine bit his lip. Ffff… Kurt was still there. That complicated matters. But on the other hand it might be a good opportunity to show Sam that Blaine could spend time with his ex without going back to him…? Could that work?

 _'Don't call her she's jewish'_ he wrote back, not sure if Sam would be pleased with that excuse.

_'So?'_

_'So she is still celebrating Hanukkah obviously!'_

Sam didn't write back then and Blaine kneaded his fingers. He didn't want Kurt to think he had an actual chance of winning him back. But would avoiding him be the best thing to do? No. Blaine would need to face them all. He sent Sam another text ' _ _I'm still coming over screw Kurt I want to be with you'__ and hoped Sam wouldn't panic because Blaine would be in the same house as his ex-boyfriend.

_'NO! He will KNO'_

Blaine sighed and rolled his shoulders. _'He won't. But you can come to me as well. Or we just don't see each other tonight'_

_'You kno what sooner or later kurt has got to get used to it'_

Blaine chuckled although he wasn't really happy with that solution. But well. Sam was right. Kurt would know someday. And Kurt would know very soon that Blaine was gone forever for him. So yeah. Going to the Hummel-Hudson's tonight.

* * *

 

Carol still knew. It was horrible. She looked at Sam with those eyes when she asked him how Christmas had been. Maybe he made it up but most probably not. He wasn't paranoid come on! Even though he had started to carry a pocket mirror and watch around corners whether Kurt was there before he rounded them.

Sam still hadn't gotten a present for Finn. Why on earth would Finn give him that book about Football legends? Who cared! Now Sam had to go to the mall or something like that because Finn also was still here (probably because Rachel, too, had prolonged her stay to comfort Kurt) so they all pretended like it was still Christmas and they all were a big happy family. Well, at least Kurt hadn't gotten a present for Sam that would've been the worst thing of all imaginable things and that included those fantasies about the earth ending before Sam had been able to see 'Thor - The Dark Kingdom'.

He wasn't really a big shopper but he figured when he could talk Marley and Ryder into coming with him it wouldn't be that bad. Plus they could help him with choosing a present and stuff like that.

So yeah, one hour later (because he had spontaneous friends who didn't have better things to do anyhow) he was entering the after-apocalyptic (a.k.a. after-Christmas) atmosphere of Lima Center Mall.

"Sweet! I need to find a dress for New Year's Eve!" Marley said.

"What? No! Present for Finn", Sam said.

"I'm gonna check out that new Game store over there", Ryder said.

"That's a good idea, Finn likes games."

"What will you boys wear?"

"I don't think I'm going to the party", Sam said. He could so do without having to hide his feelings for Blaine. Who cared if Finn and Kurt would ask him a thousand questions about why he didn't show up? Who cared if people would suspect something because the only other person not showing up would be Blaine? (Okay maybe Sam cared.)

Sam chose a Mario Party Game for Finn because he needed to practise that back in college. This was done in ten minutes and then he was stuck another hour in Bloomingdale's dress department. Marley couldn't decide (and she said __Sam__  had problem with that, tsk) and spend like all the time in the changing cubicle, making the boys run for dresses to give it to her through the curtain with their eyes closed extra hard.

This so wasn't fun. It was Sam's turn to watch out for a violet dress sized S and as he went through the sparkling gowns he decided to put an end to this madness right after this. Blaine would come over in one hour and Sam needed to get ready before that.

"Sam?"

Oh, what now? Sam turned around and smiled politely. Of course he had to run into people at the mall. It was just his luck, as always. Well, at least it wasn't Kurt – although Rachel Berry wasn't really much better than Kurt. She was on his side, that's for sure.

Sam looked around whether maybe Finn or said Kurt were around but he didn't see them. After the obligatory hug Rachel questioned his presence in the female apartment.

"It's for Marley. For the party, you know…"

"Oh! You will come, too, right? What are you going to wear?"

"Nothing. I mean, I won't come and I really have to go now… Marley is waiting so…"

"But Sam, I sent my Dads away just for that party! You __have__  to come!"

"Yeah, but I feel a bit sick so…" Sam glanced over his shoulder. Luckily Ryder just looked around the corner to see where he was. Sam breathed in relieved and waved him over but Ryder quickly took back his head so when Rachel followed his gaze she didn't see him. Darn you, Ryder!

"It's in four days, you can get better until then. And it's the New Year! You can bring a date, of course. Marley, right?" Rachel smirked. Oh, people really were all the same. Sam nodded and took a few steps backwards. But before he could escape it happened.

"Sam! You are back already!"

Of course Kurt had to be here, __of course__. What wasn't that self-evidently was that Kurt hugged him as a greeting. Things went back to normal when Kurt asked about Blaine.

"Yeah, huh, he is…"

"Oh __poor__  Blaine!" Rachel said. "How hard it must've been for him. Right, Sam? I don't know what this is all about but I had __never__  expected Blaine to even consider…"

Honestly, Sam had heard all of this already. He took a few more steps back.

"Are you almost ready, Sam? You can take me home then, so Rachel doesn't have to. It's a big detour for her", Kurt said.

"No. I don't know when Marley will be ready. Better go with Rachel."

"It's really no problem", Rachel confirmed to Kurt.

"But it would be so convenient! Right? Come on, Sam. Is Marley your girlfriend or…" Kurt asked.

Sam let out a frustrated sigh.

"No, she is not." All of a sudden Ryder stood next to Sam. He took the dress out of his hand.

"And Marley said she is okay if you go with your friends, Sam. I can handle this." He nodded and acted as if he was the most generous person on earth while Sam would've liked to kick him in the nuts.

"Uhm… thanks", Sam said. Ryder grinned. He knew, that bastard knew and send him to his death battle. Well. More or less because Kurt would've come home anyway sooner or later.

So that's how he ended up driving Kurt home from the mall. Not really the best day ever.

And it of course it got worse.

Finn wasn't home yet and Kurt seemed to need company. He followed Sam into his room and watched him wrapping up the present.

"Why does Finn get a present and I don't? What have I ever done to you?"

Sam shrugged. Oh… maybe mistreating Blaine and keeping him a long time from falling into Sam's arms? That's what.

"Wait, did I give you your present?"

No. No fucking way.

"Uhm. You don't have to –"

"I forgot due to all that chaos because of… well. You know. Wait a minute."

Kurt rushed out. Sam was tempted to run to his door and lock it but apart from the fact that he still couldn't run with his foot it would've seemed weird, not to say suspicious.

"Tadaa! Sam, this is __golden__!"

"As long as it isn't golden boxer shorts…"

Kurt threw a small package onto the bed. Sam opened it and suddenly held a wristwatch in his hands. An expensive one. He looked at Kurt who smiled in anticipation.

"Is this what you intended to give to Blaine?"

Kurt deflated and sat down, face buried in his hands.

Oh shit. It was true.

"Uhm. Thanks… I guess." Sam hesitated only three seconds or so before he carefully patted Kurt's shaking back.

Then the doorbell rang.

Sam stiffened but Kurt didn't move. He wiped over his eyes and sighed.

"It's just that –"

"I think you should talk to Rachel. I'm not good at this", Sam quickly said.

"Oh, give yourself more credit, Sam. You are sensible enough. More sensible than Finn in every case and even he –"

"Sam! It's for you!" Carol cried from downstairs. Since the door stood open Sam could already hear footsteps on the stairs.

Kurt tore open his eyes and silently moved his mouth. Then he looked at Sam.

"Is it him?"

"I think you should leave", Sam said.

"Fuck. Why does he come here all the time when he doesn't want to see me? I mean you could easily go to his house, right?"

"I… guess."

Kurt got up and shook his head. "This is so not over, I tell you."

Then he finally hurried out and over the hallway into his room. Blaine appeared in sight, his head turned to the slamming door.

"So, we're now at the ignoring each other state. See, I told you he's going to come to terms with it", he said as he closed the door behind him and started to undress his jacket.

"Yeah… I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"Oh, is this Finn's late present?" Blaine put his jacket over the desk chair and sat down on the bed, taking up the box with the watch.

"Woah. Do you love him more than me? I mean… that looks a bit…"

"Expensive?"

"I was gonna say fancy but yes. It does."

Sam cleared his throat. "Well. It's yours anyway."

Blaine shook his head on confusion.

Sam put the last stripe of scotch tape on the wrapped present and held it up.

" _ _This__  is what I got Finn. What you hold in your hands is Kurt's present for you. He tried to talk me into giving him a present with it. I'm just glad it didn't work." Sam couldn't help but smirk. He didn't have enough money left for more presents. Also he needed some for New Year's Eve because it wasn't that he didn't want to do __anything__.

Blaine sat there and stared at the watch. He slowly took it out and held it on his wrist on approval. Sam's heart sank down as fast and deep as the Titanic. Blaine was fascinated by that. Blaine would realise how great Kurt was and go back to him. Just like Mrs Anderson had predicted.

Sam bit his lip and tried to breath into his abdomen. One, two, three. No freak outs today, Sam, get your shit together.

"This is insane. Give it back to him", Blaine said. He put the watch into the box, closed it and offered it to Sam. When he didn't take it Blaine moved his arm in an asking motion.

"Or you keep it, whatever. Go on."

"You – you don't want it?"

"It's not mine, Sam. He gave it to you."

"It was meant for you."

Blaine shook his head impatiently. "We're over. It doesn't matter what once was, it's just... over."

"I – he – I gave you a scarf", Sam said as he took the box. Blaine smiled in response.

"Yes, it's the best present ever."

"No, it's not. It's a freaking scarf. This…" Sam shook the box. "This is the best present ever. I could never afford to give something like that to you."

Blaine still smiled in a manner that could be described as affectionate. He glided towards Sam, took his hand and huddled against his shoulder.

"You know I don't care about how expensive something is. In fact if Kurt would've given me this when I still hoped we could be something I would've been disappointed. I want personal presents that mean something. Like a scarf that I associate with the best boyfriend ever."

"Really?"

"Sam." Blaine laid his chin on Sam's shoulder and nuzzled his cheek. "I only want you."

Sam gulped. All of a sudden his breathing didn't work so well anymore. Same with his thinking. Blaine kept saying those things so maybe Sam should believe him. He instinctively leaned forwards and captured his lips in a soft kiss.

"This is what I'm talking about", Blaine said against Sam's mouth.

"Are we going to spend New Year's Eve together?"

"Of course."

"Alone, I mean."

Blaine leaned back and shook his head.

"What about Rachel's party?"

"Everybody will be there and we won't be able to kiss at midnight."

Blaine sighed. "I know but… we can't just stay away. This would be __really__  suspicious."

"I get that but… we can use my foot as an excuse or… something else? Like I told Rachel I feel sick today and she wouldn't suspect anything if I'd be down with the bird flu next week. And of course you'd stay with me because you are an awesome best friend."

Blaine chuckled. "That might work."

"See! I'm good at making up excuses."

"You spoke to Rachel today? But you didn't call her to tell her to bring Kurt to New York, did you?"

The slightly amused and slightly worried look on Blaine's face was pretty amazing. Sam wallowed a second in it before he told him the mall story. He finally got the pity he deserved for Kurt forcing himself onto Sam.

Turned out that he would need more of that. Just when he finished his story someone knocked at his door.

"Yeah?" Sam said with some caution. Couldn't people just let them be alone for a few minutes?

"Hey, Sam, I… oh, hi Blaine. Well, Sam, Finn and Rachel are at Breadstix and he asked if we would come. But maybe, uhm, yeah…" Kurt waggled his head and looked at Blaine again. "I get if it's too awkward for you. I mean, with all the breakup and stuff. No, I get it."

Sam nodded, expecting Kurt to retreat and close the door. But he just stood there and seemed to wait for an answer. Finally Blaine took pity on him.

"I wouldn't mind if you don't."

Sam's head shot to him. What? He must've heard something because Blaine couldn't possibly have agreed to not only go out again (they spent four hours in the car today, for heaven's sake!) but said also that he doesn't mind spending time with Kurt? Kurt. You know, the Kurt he had broken up with and was done with and all that.

"Oh, I don't mind. I mean, it's still Christmas, right, let's have some peace!" Kurt said. Blaine nodded.

"Well, uhm… be ready in ten minutes? Sam, are you driving or should I…?"

"You", Sam said. No way would he drive Kurt around again.

When the door was closed Blaine nudged Sam's arm.

"Don't pull a face like that! I actually have a plan."

"To achieve what exactly?"

"To let you see that there is nothing whatsoever left between Kurt and me."

"Blaine. Look. I get it, you're done with him. But he isn't with you. He still tries to get you back!"

"Then let him try. Sooner or later he'll see that it's senseless."

Sam chewed his lips and shrugged his shoulder. To him it sounded a lot like Blaine wanted to be with Kurt. Avoiding him would be much cleverer. And would gave them alone time. But hey, maybe that was only Sam's logic and didn't apply to other people.

* * *

 

The drive to the restaurant was the worst thing ever. Kurt tried to make small talk but Sam who sat on the passenger's seat only hummed and Blaine also didn't care to participate. He looked out of the window and watched the city at night until they arrived. It was raining very lightly, the snow all gone over Christmas. The air was still freezing cold so the three of them hurried inside where they soon spotted their old friends.

Blaine hadn't seen them all year (except Finn shortly a few days ago) so he was truly glad to meet them. He hugged both and wondered whether they were together at the moment or not – you never knew with those two. But what mattered most was that all of them were here now.

Sam wasn't in a good mood though. Maybe Blaine had pushed it too much to come here, he didn't know. But he really wanted Sam to see that nothing was going on between him and Kurt anymore. Nothing whatsoever. Absolutely –

"Blaine, the days out of town did you good. You look great", Kurt said when the others were chatting quit loudly.

"Uhm… Thank you." Blaine smiled politely. What?

"So… I really don't want to intrude, okay, but… you don't seem to be seeing… __him__  at the moment? Spending all your time with Sam, I mean?"

Blaine puckered his lips. Had he really thought nothing awkward would happen? That had been naive of him, hadn't it?

"Well. You know. Sam keeps me grounded in… times of trouble."

Kurt nodded, sucked on his straw and apparently turned his attention to Rachel who sat on his right side. Blaine on the other hand leaned more against Sam to his left and enfolded his hands around his drink. But then all of a sudden warm fingers lay on his – and it weren't Sam's. Kurt had leaned back to him.

"You know, if you ever want to talk…"

Blaine drew back his hand. "I don't think so."

"Okay! Hey, I'm just saying!" Kurt held up his hands and talked to Rachel again. Blaine turned to Sam who simply looked at him. For a few moments they locked eyes and Blaine did his best to not fall into the pain that shortly switched through Sam's eyes before he got up with the words "Excuse me" and went to the bathrooms.

Blaine put his hands around his drink again and stared at it. Don't run after him now, Anderson. Stay calm.

"…and then she stumbled backwards right into Gunther, who had perfect timing!", Rachel said. She laughed as well as everybody else. Blaine, too, because Kurt looked expectant at him. Then he glanced to the bathrooms. They should've stayed home. They hadn't had much time at the Evans' for themselves. Sam hadn't even told him his bi-story yet. They so should've done this tonight. But no – Blaine had to prove that he was over Kurt. You don't 'prove' things like that. It either is like that and your partner will realise it with time or it's not like that and you are screwed.

But now they were here and couldn't just go home again. Blaine sighed and drank from his non-alcoholic cocktail, wondering if his next should be alcoholic.

When Sam came back he drank silently, too. Then he propped his head on his hands and looked past Blaine to the others, apparently listening. But he didn't, Blaine could tell by the side glances he threw him and Kurt.

This was ridiculous.

"So." Blaine cleaned his throat. What could they talk about in public? "Your mother is a good cook."

"Oh! Stories from the Evans!?" Kurt exclaimed. Blaine gave him a confused look. He had been busy talking to Rachel again so how on earth could he have listened in?

Now everybody on the table looked at him and Sam so maybe they should say something.

"Yeah. Well. Sam's mother is good cook", Blaine said. "And his relatives are really… nice."

"Has he a grandmother that falls asleep on the table and when she snores there's slime coming out of her nose?" Kurt gestured to his own nose.

"Nope, I don't", Sam said.

Wow, Sam had said three words. Impressive.

"Do you have a dog that farts loud and –"

"No", Blaine interrupted Kurt. "No dogs."

"Well, what then? What did you do? What presents were there for you? What movies did you watch?"

Reluctantly Blaine started to tell a few anecdotes. To his relief Sam wasn't too indisposed to tell family stories and sometimes added stuff. After the tale of how Sam's aunt had burned down the Advent wreath Finn told them that Puck had done the same once but on purpose and the attention of the group wasn't on them anymore.

"I'm sorry", Blaine said as quietly as he could, turning his head completely to Sam's ear so that Kurt could not hear him. "We should've stayed home."

"Yes. We should have."

Blaine sighed and shortly let his forehead rest against Sam's hair. It was maybe one second before he straightened up and turned his attention back to the group. And immediately caught Finn's eyes. Oh shit. Did he suspect something? He didn't have any expression on his face, he just looked. Blaine held his eyes until Finn turned to Rachel. Then Blaine laid back and exhaled. Worst evening ever.

* * *

 

  _ _Coming up__ : People want to set up Sam with yet another girl (they never learn, don't they?). Now what about Rachel and Finn, are they dating? And then someone finds out about Blaine and Sam, someone who really shouldn't have known and might tell Kurt!


	12. Full House

When they went home Kurt drove to Blaine's house first and he had to get out of the car without kissing Sam or sharing any intimate words. Gone like that. Blaine had to thank himself for that. If they just had stayed in…

And now he couldn't go into his room. Well, he could but from Coopers room came pretty loud and… explicit noises (seriously, in the house with their parent's home?) so Blaine settled down in the living room and watched TV with his mother. And father, theoretically.

"Have you been out with Kurt?" she asked. Blaine shrugged and didn't answer.

"Because I could've sworn it was him who dropped you off."

"What, now you're spying on me?"

"I just happened to be in the kitchen and look out of the window. So, have you two talked?"

"Sam was in the car, too, mum. It was a group thing."

It was senseless. When Blaine heard the door going half an hour later he hoped it was safe to go upstairs now. And it was. There still were some noises here but this time it was Coopers singing from the bathroom.

"EAT CECE-CEREALS AND YOU WILL FEEL GOOOooOOOOoooOOOOOOOD!"

Blaine rolled his eyes and closed his bedroom door. The day had been long so when he fell into bed immediately passed out. 

* * *

 

_December 28th, Saturday: 3 days until New Year's Eve_

 

Sam didn't want to go to this stupid party. People had started sending him random texts about what he should wear (Marley), how much fun in general it would be (Ryder) or how they had put so much effort into it and needed all of their friends to be there (Rachel). Sam considered getting a new number but he knew that wouldn't help.

Most of the time when his phone buzzed he wished it would be Blaine. Alright, Sam had been a little distant yesterday. He had been pissed about not only that Blaine had wanted to go out but then also had chosen to sit next to Kurt, had held hands with him and told him how his Christmas had been. Yeah, no, that's how you treated an ex you were over with.

But then Blaine had apologised. And it wasn't like he had _really_ held hands with Kurt. Still, Sam and Blaine needed to make up better if Sam had any say in this. Though he had to admit it didn't help that they had no place where they could go without having to expect interferences, evil step mothers (or real mothers, whatever) and annoying exes.

The house was very loud today, too. First Tina had visited, bringing Kurt back something she had burrowed. She had glanced into his room as well so Sam had had to make some small talk. An hour later Finn had ran up and down the stairs as if someone chased him. Doors had been smashed. Kurt shouted something about a negligee although Sam didn't really get what this was about. Not that he asked. He stayed in his room most of the time and played Finn's new game. (They had tried it last night that's why it was here. Sam hadn't kept it for himself!)

His phone buzzed. _Dude what's up?_  Huh, Jake, that was weird. Jake never texted him. Something was in the air tonight!

The doorbell rang again. Sam considered putting on some headphones to not hear anything but then someone ripped open his door.

"There are girls, in this house!" Finn exclaimed.

"Oh my God! I hope we'll survive it", Sam said.

"You don't understand, Sam. One is for you."

Sam froze in his tracks. "What?"

"It was not my idea, don't look at me like that. Rachel came out of nothing with the idea to get you a girlfriend. Apparently Marley has left you or something…?"

"I… I don't want a…"

Finn came in and closed the door, his expression getting pretty serious.

"Sam. You can tell me the truth."

"I… uhm… really?"

"Yes. Brittany wasn't any good for you, was she? I bet you never got to say something smart to her. You did one bad impression –"

"Hey, my impressions are good!"

"And then she fucked you. Isn't that how it worked with her? I mean she even snogged Kurt. That's how she is. But don't be afraid. You'll like this girl. She one of Rachel's girlfriends from kindergarten or something like that. A bit like her."

"Uhm, yeah, that's not really the type I'm going for so…" Sam shrugged. Would this excuse work, no, it wouldn't, he saw it in Finn's face.

"Dude, don't be ridiculous! Come on, I'll help you pick an outfit."

Before Sam could say anything Finn had already opened his closet. It wasn't even five p.m. but apparently the date was scheduled for now. Some of Sam's jeans flew around. Finn made him try on a green shirt. Not good enough. A blue one. Just when Sam put that off and was standing shirtless in his room Kurt stampeded in and shouted "It's the end of the world as we know it! It's Octoberfest in Decemer, it's – oh. Sam. Hi."

"Duuuuude!" Sam took a shirt and pressed in onto his chest where Kurt's eyes had wandered to. Finn laughed his ass off although it was _not_ funny.

"What? I'm only human. I just wonder how Blaine can be around you all the time without… oh, no, stop thinking of Blaine, stop it!" Kurt hammered against his head and went out. Finn ran after him and in the unexpected silence that followed Sam tried to recover from the shock of Blaine's mentioning in the context of Sam's hotness. But they all were blind. Seriously, if they ever opened their eyes for one millisecond they'd all know.

Sam threw the shirt away and flexed his biceps while looking into the mirror. Had the cookies already taken effect? Should he hit the gym before New Year's Eve? His abs looked less defined already, yeah, he should definitively –

"Sam, Finn said you need me? Oh my!"

"Ever heard of knocking, you folks?"

Sam grasped the shirt again and put it on while Rachel stood there with her hands over her eyes.

"I'm sorry but to my defence the door stood half open and Finn said you need my help so… Are you decent now? Although this silly if I should help you chose an outfit, isn't it. Can I look?"

It was very tempting so say no and then sneak out of the room without her noticing. But Sam was a good friend. A much too good friend.

"Yeah", he sighed.

"Listen. Alice is a nice girl. She's shy, though, but I thought you wouldn't mind that, do you?"

"Shy? Finn said she is like you."

"He did? Oh, I guess he meant my good looks. She's very cute." Rachel went to the mirror and started admiring herself. Sam crossed his arms (some people were __so__  vain!) and waited for another pep talk. His phone buzzed again and he looked at it. _How about a suit without the jacket, super smart, hot and casual at the same time._

"Don't mind me saying but we would make a very good locking couple, don't you think? Apart from the fact that you obviously have to cut your hair. Don't tell Finn I said that. He is very cute, too, and adorable but sometimes dorky. Oh, you know him. Alice will appreciate your good looks, Sam. And she is very smart. Not too smart, don't be afraid, although she's is wearing glasses. Wearing glasses doesn't make one smart, I know, but…"

_We could drink until we die_

Sam allowed himself to answer Ryder while Rachel went on about Alice. _That's not really my style_

_Sam. It's a party_

"You should try this." Suddenly a blazer was held on to his chest. Sam put the phone away and then tried on the blazer. Rachel didn't approve. A female voice came from the door, asking where Rachel was. Rachel ran out. Sam sat down on the bed and sent a general text to several people to leave him the fuck alone. Of course he formulated it nicer. Then Rachel came back, her phone in her hands.

"Sam, are you in a bad mood?"

"Wait a minute. You said Alice is smart."

"Yes? So?" Rachel put her phone away and dove into Sam's cupboard.

Could this chaotic and somewhat silly day in the end make his life better?

"What I mean is…" Sam got up. "You want to set me up with a smart girl? Don't you think I'm too dumb for that and that I need a dumb girl because of that?"

"Oh my God!" Rachel cried out.

"What?"

"This is perfect! Why is this in the _back_ of your cupboard!?"

She emerged and held up a black and white shirt that Sam had no idea who is was from. Still, he followed Rachel's orders to put it on and while doing so he repeated his question.

"No, why would you think you're dumb? Finn and I agree on the fact that it didn't work out with Brittany because she was… mmm, let's say special. In a certain way. You know. You'd need a girl who can put up with you conspiracy theories about aliens taking over the world or whatever it was you were so excited about that one time –"

"But Brittany did put up with that. _Because_ she was dumb. Uhm, I mean… special."

Rachel shook her head and picked up the blazer again. When Sam wore it and watched himself in the mirror she said: "Anyway, I think Alice would be good for you. You underestimate yourself way too often, Sam."

"Oh, well, thanks for thinking I'm not dumb but…"

"Rachel! Do you have a nail file!?" Finn stormed in and opened a drawer from Sam's desk. Yeah, because that's where Rachel would put her nail files. Sam rolled his eyes and looked at himself. He had to admit he still looked hot. Although gym never was a bad idea.

"In my purse, why do you need –"

"It's an emergency!"

"FIIIINN!" Kurt's voice shouted through the house.

"Oh God!" Finn ran out and smashed the door behind him. For one second Sam thought it would fell off its hinges. But it stayed where it was. His phone buzzed in his jeans pocket. Rachel held up black trousers and shook her head.

"No. Jeans will do, don't you think? I mean look at me, I'm not very fancy dressed either."

"Uhm… where are we – where are you going?"

Sam certainly wouldn't go with them, he'd find a way to tell them. But Rachel _was_ fancy dressed. She wore a red dress that went until her knees and matching high-heels.

"Finn didn't _tell_ you? We reserved a table at Booya's. It's nothing for casual dressing but I mean you don't need to –"

"You reserved a table? Without _asking_ me first? Rachel, I can't – I won't go on a date!"

"Why not? First not the party, now not the date. Sam, you need to put yourself out there or you will get stuck in depression and loneliness and –"

"Alright, I'll come to your party. But not to the date tonight!"

Rachel pivoted around and clapped her hands.

"Oh! You come to the party? What about Alice though, I promised her a date."

"I have plans. With Blaine."

"Cancel them. He won't mind, I mean he wants you to be happy, too, right?"

"No."

Rachel looked questioningly at him. Sam drove through his hair and threw another glance into the mirror. Maybe he could show up at Blaine's like this. Things would go down with that outfit! Screw Mrs Anderson. Finn and Rachel though he was smart. And good looking. Why should he listen to an old woman that had created Cooper?

Sam stepped closer to the mirror but then noticed the quiet in the room. Had Rachel passed out?

"Does he cling to you? Overwhelm you? Do you feel like you can't live your own life because he needs you too much?" she whispered then.

"What are you talking about?"

"Blaine? You said he doesn't want you to be happy? I mean he even came with you to Kentucky so… he's sad because of Kurt, I know, but nothing excuses –"

"Ugh! Rachel! No, I said no do your advice. Blaine doesn't do anything, okay? He's my friend. I like him. Do you really think I look good? Do you think Bl- _girls_ would think I'm hot?"

He drove over this new shirt. Maybe it would've been good to wash it beforehand but oh well. It was still soft.

"NOW THAT'S ENOUGH YOUNG MAN!" Carol's voice shouted from downstairs.

"Yes. Maybe you'll need some cologne and… wait. Oh wait, I have an idea!"

Oh, no.

While Rachel left the room Sam pulled out his phone. _dude I never did anything to u why u so mean_

Sam rolled his eyes. _Sorry I'm just really pissed today. don't ask about the party anymore_

_U coming?_

Sam bit his lip. What part of 'don't ask' hadn't Ryder gotten?

"Sam, do you by any chance have nail polish remover in here?"

"No, Finn, I don't. I think Carol has some. What is going on anyhow?"

"Nothing. Except that Mum won't give me or Kurt anything right now. Where's Rachel? Maybe she has…" Finn looked around as if he expected Rachel to jump up from behind the door. She didn't. She did however push Finn aside and entered the room, holding up a brush, a hair drier and a make-up bag. Sam would've laughed if he wouldn't have been busy making plans how to jump out of the window without breaking anything, especially his left ankle that still hurt now and then.

"No", he said.

"You don't even know what I am planning."

"Oh, this gotta be good!" Finn came into the room and rubbed his hands with a mean, mean smile. Sam got up and walked to the window.

"I will jump."

"Sam! Now you're even more dramatic than me and that's saying something. I –"

"FIIIIIINN!"

"NOT NOW!"

"Just a little bit, Sam, girls dig boys with make-up. Look at Finn."

He did. "Finn doesn't wear anything."

"Exactly! Why do you think we're still not back together?"

"Hey, hey! Take that – what?" Finn asked in a high voice. He grasped the make-up bag and took something out. Then he stood in front of the mirror and was about to apply it to his eyes when Rachel ripped it out of his hands.

"That's a lipstick, Finn!"

"Oh."

With a big sigh Sam said down in his bed. Finn mumbled something about "I will not change my personality for girls anyway" and followed the second calling of his name. Rachel put out various things and talked about… well, something. Sam got out his phone, lay back on the bed and opened Blaine's contact.

What should he write? Damn, was this their first fight? But they hadn't fought, not really.

_Come over later?_

Sam stared at the phone. It buzzed but the text was from Marley.

_Sam Evans, are you out of your mind? I'm trying to help you and get this in return?_

Sam sighed and put the phone aside. He had forgotten about Rachel and her curiosity, though, because she took it and read the text.

"Oh Sam. You're heartbroken because of Marley, that's it, right? Wait. I'll make it right."

She actually started tipping. Sam jumped up to take the phone but Rachel was pretty fast for wearing a dress like that. She escaped to the door while the bag of make-up fell to the floor and various utensils rolled around. Rachel turned around and pointed at them.

"That's on you, Mister."

"What? No. Give me back my phone or I will not come to your party."

"You can use this only once as a matter of blackmailing."

"I ain't blackmailing you I just – what?"

Rachel's eyes had gotten as big as never before while she stared at the phone. She puckered her lips and read something very quickly. When she looked up at Sam her look was different. Almost like… as if she couldn't believe something. But… wait. No. Sam got a bad, bad suspicion. He tried to overplay it and stretched out his hand.

"Give me back my phone. Now."

Rachel gulped and opened her mouth. "You are the other one? The one Blaine left Kurt for?"

It hit Sam like a gunshot in the face. He literally stumbled back a few steps, his legs only pudding. He didn't know how but then he sat on the bed.

"No. I'm not."

Rachel still didn't close her mouth or change her expression.

"Rachel, I'm going to need –", Finn's voice said from outside.

"Not now. I'm busy." Rachel closed the door and leaned against it, shutting out all noises. With a trembling hand she held up Sam's phone and fixated her eyes on it again.

"Yes. And I'm sorry for yesterday. I know I can't prove to you I'm over Kurt but I hope you will realise it soon. For now I hope it's enough when I tell you I really and honestly just care about you. The things you wrote me in the letters… I already told you I feel the same. Let's talk again about it, Sam, because I want to do anything to make you believe I will stay with you for a long time", Rachel read. Then she let her hand sink. Without looking at Sam she quietly added: "Don't forget, I only want you."

Sam gulped. He drove over his mouth. Was there any possibility to turn words like that around? Damn, why did Blaine write that explicit about them just now, in this moment, why… just why couldn't he had have waited for another fucking _minute_?

"You totally misunderstood that", he said. Finally he could feel his feet again. He got up and had no problem taking his phone from Rachel.

"If you would excuse me now…"

"Sam."

He puckered his lips. "Well… I would appreciate it if you didn't tell Kurt immediately. He's hurt enough and also… I… well. Excuse me."

He got to the door. Rachel let herself be pushed aside and in the next moment Sam was in the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Pure emptiness was around him, inside of him. Someone screamed in the house but it was far, far away.

Sam's lip burnt and he realised he had bit it once too often. He took some toilet paper and pressed it against the bleeding, staring at himself in the mirror. Shit. She would tell them all, wouldn't she? Rachel Berry was not exactly famous for her discreetness. Sam closed his eyes and willed himself not to cry. He would expect her to keep private things private, yes, but this matter involved Kurt, her best friend and there was no way she wouldn't tell him, right?

A few minutes later Sam was ready to get out and face the ugliness. Nobody was upstairs and the house had gone suspiciously quiet. Maybe they all sat in the living room. Rachel would have asked them to sit down and stand there like a teacher, maybe put up a board on that she would write the exact words from Blaine's text. Burt, Carol and Finn would raise their hands with questions or theories while Kurt would start writing an essay about how mean and terrible Sam was.

At the bottom of the stairs Sam stared at the living room door. This must've been what people described as 'living hell'. It was so quiet. Almost peaceful. And to his right was the front door. What if he simply left and never came back? Okay, came back very late when nobody was up anymore. He could do that. Just… go to Blaine and explain it to him.

The living room door opened and Sam jerked around.

"Sam? Do you honestly want to go outside without a jacket? Do you know how cold it is?" Carol said on her way to the kitchen. Then she was in there and the hallway was empty again.

What?

Sam closed the front door and slowly walked to the kitchen.

"Uhm…. Rachel and Finn… uh…"

"They went out. Rachel said you weren't feeling well so they took Kurt with them. Is everything alright?" Carol closed a bottle of water and took up a glass.

"Yes. No. I don't know. She… Rachel did say… or rather didn't say…?"

Carol looked at him questioningly. Sam realised that she didn't know anything. But what would that mean? That Rachel only told Kurt? Maybe Finn? And their friend who had been with them…?

"Maybe you should lie down", Carol suggested. "You look very pale. Have you eaten enough fruits? You have eaten too many cookies, not that I can blame you, that's how the season is but honestly, don't forget to take some vitamins and…"

"Yes, yeah. Okay."

Sam turned around and went upstairs again. He stepped over the make-up stuff and fell down on his bed. There he stared at his phone, reading the fatal text himself. People would know he was bi, so what? And had stolen Blaine from Kurt, so what? Carol would... would she throw him out? She and Burt didn't seem like that kind of persons. But you never knew how someone really was until you messed with their families, right?

His phone buzzed but Sam wasn't eager to read it. He still brought it to his face again.

_I won't tell anyone but I want to know the story, Sam_

Sam's dry throat… well it stayed dry but at least it didn't got drier.

_U wont?_

_I can keep my mouth shut, don't be afraid_

_Why? U kurts friend not mine or blaines_

When Rachel didn't answer Sam cursed himself for writing the last text. Don't question your luck, man! Take what you can get! Out of nervousness Sam started to gather the make-up on the floor together and set the bag on his desk next to the brush and the hair dryer. They seemed like utensils from the last century; it was long forgotten why they even were here. When his phone eventually buzzed he jumped to it.

_I'm your friend as well. And it wouldn't do any good to reveal it. Let's talk about it tomorrow_

Sam silently nodded and put the phone away. Right. Delay the catastrophe until tomorrow. He should talk to Blaine though. But maybe not per text. Texts were overrated anyway.

He didn't want to talk to Rachel! She had no right to know! She had seen something she wasn't supposed to but that didn't mean Sam and Blaine had to explain things to her. It still was none of her business, right? She was imposing her will on them, that's what she was doing! But Sam didn't dare to refuse her, maybe then she'd go and tell Kurt after all.

Sam put a pillow on his face and hoped when he couldn't see the world the world wouldn't see him and forget about his existence. 

* * *

 

__Coming up__ : Will Rachel tell Kurt? Will Blaine's mum ever be nice to Sam or will she make him storm out of the house and cause Blaine and Sam to break up? No… she wouldn't do that. Would she?


	13. Crisis

Blaine wondered why Sam didn't answer his text about what time he should come over. Had it something to do with the text Blaine had written about how they should talk more? Blaine really couldn't tell so he simply called Sam.

When he answered he sounded sleepy. Blaine threw a glance to the clock; it was seven p.m.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"No. I'm not. I'm so not okay."

"Oh. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes! But in person. Today. Now. Let's meet right now. But not here, they could come back every minute."

"Who? What are you talking about, Sam?"

"Them! You know, Finn, Kurt and… Rachel." The last name was only a whisper. Blaine frowned and thought back what Rachel could have to do with the matter. Nothing. She and Sam hadn't even talked to each other yesterday except the usual greetings. Now Blaine could understand that they had to watch out for Finn – he had looked so suspicious! Oh, darn, why was hiding so exhausting?

Luckily Artie, Marley and Ryder already knew.

"Why don't we ask Ryder if we can –", Blaine begun.

"What are you talking about? We need to be alone! We never are alone!"

"Sam, stop freaking out! I meant because Ryder knows. Maybe he, Marley and Artie could somehow help us."

"No! No more people involved. Well, you know what, I'll just come to your house. Screw your mother. Uhm, I mean… sorry, I meant…"

"Really? You wouldn't mind?"

"Right now I have bigger problems. Oh no, I hear noises! Maybe I'll have to jump out of the window to escape them."

Blaine sighed and massaged his nose. "Sam, please don't jump out of a window."

"I have to go!"

The connection was interrupted. Blaine frowned at his phone. This was weird. Weirder than usual. What was going on? But Sam would tell him soon. Now all Blaine had to do was wait.

"So, Blainers. I'm going out with some friends, you and your boyfriend wanna come?"

Blaine frowned at Cooper who poked his head through the door.

"What?"

Cooper raised his eyebrows.

"Are you… did you just… what?" Had his brother just asked if Blaine would go out with him? Well, that's an unexpected first one.

"Yes or no?"

"Uhm. No, Sam is coming over for some private time. But thanks?"

"Your decision, cupcake. Just remember: It's Saturday night and Mum will scream if you and Sam spend too much time alone up here."

"You think that? Because she was pretty relaxed about you and… whoever you were with yesterday."

"Her name is Martina. And that's something different. She's not Sam."

"Oh, isn't she?"

"Pretty sure, yeah."

The doorbell rang and Cooper hurried away. Blaine got up, too, because it could be Sam after all. And it was. His hair was messy, supporting Blaine's theory that Sam had slept previously. Then he took off his jacket and wow! He was dressed pretty fancy as if he planned on going out. Black and white shirt under a blazer. Frowning in confusion at that (even though it was _hot_ ) Blaine went the last steps downstairs.

"You look… nice."

"What. Oh, that." Sam looked down on himself and stroked over the shirt. Then he shook his head and shrugged it off.

"We need to talk."

"Again?" Cooper said. "You don't seem to do anything else. Guys, talking is not good. You should come out with me. Me and Martina are going to a guy who has same-sex parents so no need to be ashamed there!"

Sam got pale and stumbled a few steps back. "What? No same-sex parent's house. Are they called Berry? No, I won't go in any case."

Cooper frowned. "Okay, man! Whatever!"

"Wait", Blaine said as Cooper took his jacket from the wardrobe. He stepped to Sam and lowered his voice.

"Maybe we can talk there, apart from the others? When they'll know we're a couple it will be okay…"

"Why not here? Did your mother say something?"

"Not yet but do you want to risk getting interrupted?"

"No… No. But they are not called Berry, are they?" Sam looked at Cooper and Blaine puckered his lips. What the hell was going on?

"They are called Scully", Cooper said.

"Ah, okay then. Well." Sam took his jacket and put it on. Then he looked around. "Where's my hat?"

"You came without one", Blaine said.

"Really? It's fucking cold."

"I can lend you one", Blaine said.

"Oh, Blainers, you don't have any sense of fashion. Wait." Cooper ran upstairs. Blaine sighed and sat down on the stairs to get into his shoes. Then he looked up at Sam who paced the small hallway.

"What is going on, Sam?"

Sam jerked around on the spot. "It's Rachel! She illegally –"

"Oh! I thought I heard voices. Why, hello Sam!" Mrs Anderson stood in the door to the living room and eyed Sam's outfit.

"Isn't that a bit over the top? Or are you going to look for a wife?"

"Mum!" Blaine jumped up. "Be at least nice to him if you can't apologise!"

"Honey! I only want your best. The best of you two, I mean. To get happy and be fulfilled, yes! I just can't see you two finding that in each other, that's all there is to it. It is totally okay to experiment, of course! Honey, I get that you want to see what else is out there. And you, Sam, I get it can be exciting to change lanes. Just don't talk yourself into it too much, I mean, do you really think this is going to last? You're young and life has so much more in store for you, so many beautiful girls! And honey."

She sighed and looked at Blaine, hands folded against each other. She didn't have to say the name, Blaine knew exactly who she was thinking of.

He wanted to answer when Sam turned around on the spot and left the house. Blaine shot her a reproachful look and grasped his jacket and keys.

Outside he cursed under his breath for not having gloves and a beanie with him but it didn't matter. Sam was disappearing into the night very fast so Blaine started jogging after him. When he arrived he reached for Sam's arm but the blond pulled away.

"Sam, come on, don't listen to her!"

"Well, maybe I should. Apparently I'm not allowed to be bi, only straight. And you should go back to Kurt, then everybody will be happy. And nobody would have to hide anymore, all the stress would be over."

Blaine bit his lip. He still had to run to keep pace with Sam.

"Why do you keep talking about that? I told you a thousand times I don't want him anymore. Why don't you believe me? Don't you trust me?"

Sam stopped and wiped over his face. Even in the dim shine of lanterns Blaine could see how pale and exhausted Sam looked. It wasn't just what his mother had said, something else had happened, and they needed to talk about that instead of fight!

"I don't know. I guess not. I hope your mother is happy now."

"Why?" Blaine said.

"Go back to him, Blaine."

Blaine laughed disbelievingly. "No. Let's go inside, drink hot chocolate and talk about everything, okay? Whatever Rachel did or said or –"

"This is not about her. Or your mother. Just… go back to him."

He went away and Blaine couldn't move his feet. They were tacked to the icy ground. What just happened? What in holy hell… What?

After a few minutes Blaine started to get cold. Feeling like in a dream he turned around and slowly walked back to his house. They had had such a good start. Romantic, cheesy, everything that there was to love. But that had been in Kentucky. They hadn't even been out there but also no one had given them the feeling of hostility. Back in Lima all they did was… well… it wasn't good. So what actually just happened?

Still feeling in trance Blaine walked upstairs fully dressed and this also was how he laid down on his bed. The phone on his bedside table buzzed. It was Cooper, asking where they had gone. He would have to wait for that answer because Blaine didn't know it himself.

* * *

  _December 29th, Sunday: 2 days until New Year's Eve_

 

"Well, you should have come with us, I tell you. Even Kurt had fun and that's saying something", Finn said. "I mean, nowadays."

"Uhu." Sam hit on his joystick without really caring about what his character on screen was doing.

"And I really have a good feeling about Rachel. I think we might get back together soon."

Ugh. Did he have to mention her? Sam's stomach produced another lump that got stuck in his throat. He wasn't good in pretending everything was great or in pretending anything at all but during the last weeks he somehow had gotten the hang of it. Finn had believed it when Sam had said he was feeling under a cold. Well… he actually had caught a cold yesterday after being outside too long without a hat or anything so maybe that had helped.

"And you know, Alice is such a nice girl, she…"

Sam blended Finn's voice out as he secretly looked at his phone. Blaine hadn't written and Sam couldn't blame him. Sam was the one who should write first. He was the one who had said a lot of nonsense that could easily have been understood as breaking up. That wasn't what he wanted – ever – but when Sam was honest it had been exactly what he had intended in the moment he had said it.

Stupid Mrs Anderson. Sam had thought to be able to put up with her but she kept on talking about how he should get a girl. Finn tried to set him up with a girl. People always thought he was dating Marley. Apparently he had something on him that screamed 'full on straight' miles against the wind. And what if they were right? Maybe it was a phase.

"Yes!"

Oh, Finn had won again. Sam faked a smile and nodded up to him from where he was sitting on the ground with a blanket around him.

"It's your own fault, dude, you gave me that game to practice. Well. I'm going to get a tea or something, you want one?"

Sam shrugged and because Finn kept looking at him he added a nod. Then he was finally left alone and could stare out of the window. It was snowing again but it didn't look magical and romantic like a week ago. It was a cold, ruthless weather that didn't care if people would die from it. But at least Sam didn't have a bad consciousness staying in his PJ's all day when it was like that out there.

He got a message from Ryder. _You should at least apologise to marley_

If Sam hadn't been too torpid to care he would have wondered what this was about. Marley wasn't the person he had to apologise to. Blaine was. But what could he say? What if Blaine had actually gone back to Kurt already? And – he had to admit that much – Sam was glad that he could tell Rachel that nothing was going on and avoid a talk. She'd be back in New York soon and he'd have one problem less.

When Finn came back Kurt accompanied him. Sam stiffened and tried to detect if he was back with Blaine from any gestures, words or expressions. He laughed while talking, that definitively was a bad sign!

"Oh, no, you're playing… well, whatever it is. That's boring! And won't do Sam any good. He needs warmth and soup! Carol is making the soup right now" Kurt said, sitting down on the bed next to where Sam was leaning against it.

"So what can we do to make you feel better, Sam?"

Well, at least it was safe to say Kurt hadn't talked to Rachel yet.

"Nothing. Just… I need to rest. It'll get better soon", Sam said.

"Yeah, we won't throw you a pity party. And don't think you can bail on Rachel's party on Tuesday."

"We'll see about that", Sam said very quietly. Kurt didn't get it anyway because Finn had started to talk as soon as his ex had been mentioned.

Very understandable, Sam thought when __he__  heard Blaine's name and started to listen again.

"…and you're doing better than I had thought", Finn said.

"I'm surprised as well", Kurt nodded. "But I think it's because of our history. We fought and have been broken up before and always made our way back to each other. And I don't want to sound naive or like I'm imagining things but I don't think Blaine is seeing someone. I don't know. Could be my wishful thinking but he's been around here often and…" Kurt sighed and slightly nudged Sam's shoulder.

"You still refuse to give me information?"

Sam cleared his throat and tried to sound playful, cocky and teasingly when he said: "Yup."

Kurt sighed again, this time deeper.

"Oh, what's the use of living with Blaine's best friend if not this? But I get it. If tables were turned Rachel wouldn't betray me like that, too."

There it was. That word. Betraying. That's what Sam was doing to Kurt and his family. He already had done it over the last week so nothing could redeem it. Was love really worth this? Maybe he'd find someone else if he only tried hard enough? Just… _Blaine_.

Sam bit his lip and since it was still wounded from his maltreating yesterday it immediately started to hurt. Good. He couldn't cry right now, he needed that distraction. He also needed Blaine, though. __I love you, I didn't mean it!__  Maybe hiding and betraying people wasn't so bad after all…? Or he'd just come out and tell them. It would end this drama on the spot. Well, after causing some more pain, that was.

His phone buzzed and in expectation of another one of Ryder's mysterious texts Sam grasped it.

_Can you come over to me? My address is fulhamstreet 4_

What? He knew Ryder's address and it wasn't… oh. Not Ryder. Right.

"Uhm, what? Why does Rachel want you to come to her house?"

Kurt had bend over his shoulder. Damn! Why did people keep reading texts that weren't for their eyes!? Sam quickly put it away. Great, now he had to think of another lie to make Kurt's surprised expression and that funny look in Finn's eyes go away.

"I wanted to help her set up something for the party. Uhm. It should have been a surprise… I can't really tell you about it…"

"Oh!" Kurt clapped his hands in excitement. "I knew it! I knew you weren't planning on not coming! You just tried to avoid giving it away, right?"

"Yes!"

The relief flowing through his body because both of his friends laughed now was quickly overthrown by the thought that he not only had to go to the party now on Tuesday. If he wanted the excuse to work out he had actually to think of as 'surprise' and go to Rachel's. No, damn, he was sick. He couldn't go, come on, yes, good reason to stay home.

"But I think I'll cancel it. I feel too… my head is exploding and I'm constantly sneezing and…" Sam shrugged and took his phone.

"Haha, very funny. Come on, Sam, surprises are nice. It could lighten up my spirits on Tuesday especially when Blaine is going to be there, too." Kurt actually jingled his eyelashes. What part exactly of his statement was now supposed to cheer Sam up?

Finn got up. "I'll drive you over. I wanted to talk to Rachel anyway."

Sam nodded. What a good idea! When Finn was there, too, Rachel wouldn't ask questions, right? Sam could pretend to be busy in her basement while the two of them cuddled up in front of the fireplace. After an hour he'd say he was ready and they would go home.

"Finn, think hard. If you drive Sam, how is he supposed to come back? Or do you want to pick him up later, too?" Kurt said.

"I – I don't know. Maybe."

Kurt shook his head. "You're looking for an excuse to stay there, aren't you?"

Meanwhile Sam tried to get up. His head spun but he remained on his feet. Now he only had to manage to get dressed. Nothing easier than that, right? His head pounded all the way to the closet. He definitely shouldn't go out today, no. Where was his phone?

"I'm still going to cancel it. We can work on the surprise tomorrow still", he said as he turned around again.

"Oh Sam. You're such a baby", Kurt said. Finn just snorted and left the room.

"Well, I can live with that."

Wait. Sam was slow today but he wasn't as dumb as everybody thought. Finn would probably talk to Rachel anyway. What if he would mention 'the surprise' and Rachel had no clue about what he talked? Not good. Sam took his phone and sat down on the bed so that Kurt couldn't see what he wrote. _I can't I'm sick. 2morro? If finn or anyone ask about a surprise just act misteriosly_

"Will Blaine come over today to look after you?"

Sam's pulse was at 180 immediately. He bit his lip and shook his head.

"We had a… misunderstanding."

"Oh. Oh… no! But you have to make up! If you two fall out, too, then what reason does Blaine have to come here? None! See?" Kurt stood up to face him.

"Kurt…"

"Promise me you'll talk to him about it."

Sam rolled his eyes and looked out of the window. This was a cruel joke of the Universe, right? What an awful God it was.

"Honestly, what would you two fight about, anyway? Can't be something to serious. Yeah, oh, except it was about me?"

Sam took everything back. There clearly was __no__  God out there.

"You tried to talk him into getting back with me and he got angry? Yeah, Blaine doesn't like it when someone tells him what to do. Oh…" Kurt shook his head. He wiped over his eyes, whispered "Thank you" to Sam and left the room.

Right.

_Ok then I come over_

Sam exhaled. "You have got to be kidding me! Why can't I have one minute of peace, one minute?!"

He so didn't care anymore now. Yes, maybe he directed his anger towards the wrong person but then again she wasn't that innocent on his situation. _And how would you explain it to finn if we talked in privat? do you even think about things rachel?_

_We're friends, he would understand_

_No. we're not friends, okay? I haven't seen you for a year or so. he already looked funny when he heard I'd go to your place_

Sam put his phone on the matrass and cursed. People were so… ugh! And he hadn't even Blaine to make it right now! This wasn't good. Things should be different, so different! He ignored the buzzing of his phone and got up. He had to do something. He quickly dressed and then paced the room while deciding __what__  he should do to change things. Go to Blaine and talk to him. Yes. Okay, maybe not because Mrs Anderson would be there. Clearly she was celebrating his departure right now and would answer the door with a party head and a little flute that would immediately stop lilting when she saw Sam.

Sam puckered his lips and took the phone. Then he would put the next best thing behind him. He quickly wrote Rachel that he was on his way, went downstairs to ask for the family car and left the house without meeting his 'brothers'.

* * *

 

C _ _oming up__ : Will Sam ever remember why he needs to apologise to Marley? (Yes this absolutely is the most important thing you need to know… oh, it isn't?) Blaine meets a friend who tells him something about Sam that he just can't believe.


	14. Catching a break

Blaine had a major deja-vue day. Although it wasn't anything like after he broke up with Kurt – he had grieved then, now he just waited for a sign from Sam. Any sign that he hadn't meant it. That Blaine had misunderstood his words, gestures, his running away…

Blaine felt tears creeping up and quickly changed the TV channel. For today this would work. If he hadn't heard from Sam by tomorrow… well, no. Quick, another channel.

"Blaineeers."

"Not now, I'm busy."

" _ _What__? You're not even watching commercials?"

Blaine rolled his eyes as his brother suddenly stood in the room, overdramatically pointing at the TV.

"Did something happen yesterday? I swear I didn't mean to take that long to pick out a hat but I couldn't decide… ah, I have such a beautiful collections of hats!"

"Good for you."

"Let's go take a walk! I lend you a hat from my collection!"

"Cooper…"

"What, you'd rather drown in your self-pity?"

"Actually, yes."

Cooper left his room. Blaine frowned – that had been too easy – and then rolled his eyes when Cooper came back with a ridiculous big black hat on his head, spreading out his arms and crying with enthusiasm, remembering Blaine of how Sam had jumped through the snow.

"Is that even yours? It looks like a woman's hat."

"Of course it is mine! I'm an actor! I need to practise all possible roles there are! Hey, do you like waffles?"

When Blaine said he did Cooper insisted on going to a café in the mall. It turned out that his girlfriend worked here so at least Blaine didn't have to be suspicious as to why Cooper did something that held nothing for him.

While Blaine sat in the boot and ate his waffle Cooper kept his girlfriend from working too hard. Blaine wasn't sure if she appreciated it but he kept following her to the tables that she served. After a while this great show got boring because she never turned around and slapped him, she just ignored him.

Blaine went on to watching the people around him. That's when he saw Jake. He sat at the fountain with some girls and seemed to be bragging. Blaine was pretty sure he didn't want to be disturbed but then Jake caught his eye and waved. No, actually he even came over and glided into Coopers place opposite to Blaine.

"Uhm, hi", Blaine said. "Did you have a nice Christmas?"

"No, I was bored out of my mind. I haven't seen anyone from Glee club since winter break started! Why is everyone so busy? Oh, and get this, yesterday I wrote Sam to ask what he was doing and you know what he answered? Here!"

Jake pulled out his phone, managed it and showed it to Blaine.

_The hell? Lieve me alon I'm tired of ur shit_

Blaine's mouth clapped open. "Are you sure that's Sam's number?"

"I am sure."

"I am not! Sam wouldn't write something like this without a reason. What did you write to him?"

Jake opened another text to show it to Blaine. _Dude what's up?_

"Only this. Nothing else."

Blaine frowned. "This can't be… wait." He got out this phone and compared the numbers. No, it really was the right number. What on earth…?

"Maybe it was a mistake? Or he was in a bad mood. At what time yesterday was it?"

Jake looked at his phone. "A few minutes after five."

"Oh. Then…" Blaine shook his head. What happened yesterday? He needed to know! Maybe he should ask Finn or Kurt? But would they now? Sam had mentioned Rachel a few times, she had to be involved somehow. But how, what…?

"So, do you want to hang out some time? I'm tired of dating three different chicks at once."

"What? Oh, yeah, why not! Will you be at the party on Tuesday?"

"What party?"

Oops.

"Uhm… well, an old friend throws a party. I'm gonna ask her if you can come, too. I have to speak to her anyway."

Blaine quickly sent Rachel a text if she knew what was going on with Sam. Then he promised Jake to keep him up to date and finished his waffle just in time to see how Cooper finally got his lecture about disturbing working girls from Martina's boss. After that Cooper wasn't in the mood to shop and they went to the car. Just when they almost were home Blaine got an answer from Rachel.

_Yes, I know. Are you busy right now? He'd like to talk to you. fulhamstreet 4_

Blaine narrowed his eyes and read it again. Wait. Sam was with Rachel at this very moment? Blaine got the feeling that something weird was going on. Something that had made Sam loose his nerves yesterday and Blaine couldn't shake the feeling it had to do with them. Had Rachel somehow found out?

"Can you bring me to a friend?" he asked Cooper.

"Sure, Blainers! I'll drop you off at the Hudson's."

"It's Hummel-Hudson's now but I was talking about Rachel Berry. Uhm, Fulhamstreet?"

"A _girl?_ Oh my, oh my, Blainers!"

Blaine rolled his eyes. When they arrived Cooper promised him to pick him up later if necessary and in the next moment Blaine stood in front of the Berry's house. The Hudmel's truck was in the driveway so he had been right about Sam being here.

"Hey, Blaine", Rachel greeted him – not gushy. Ok. Something was defectively off.

They hugged nonetheless and then went to the living room. The Berry's house was big and the decorations looked like right out of 'Living At Home'. But as soon as they entered the living room all Blaine saw was the blond boy with a red nose sitting on the couch. He started into space and now very reluctantly turned his head to return Blaine's look.

Rachel rounded Blaine and positioned herself in an armchair standing next to the couch.

"Sit down, Blaine. Do you want to drink something?"

"No, right now… What is going on?" Blaine remained standing for now.

"It's my fault, really. I'm such an intrusive person, my apologies for that. I know. Blaine." Rachel nodded to Sam. "Don't you want to tell him or…"

"No."

Rachel sighed and Blaine decided to sit down after all. He chose the very left end of the couch while Sam sat on the right, kneading a tissue.

"Yesterday I happened to have Sam's phone in my hands when you send him a text. Uhm."

"My… text?" Blaine looked at Sam who seemed to be in love with his hands.

"I wouldn't have opened it but I was writing a message, thinking I was doing Sam a favour and so I accidentally opened it. And I saw the content and couldn't… well. I was shocked, to be honest, very shocked. Who would have guessed that… you two? I mean it's not unheard of that close friends turn into lovers, it's by far not unheard of. Just think of all those love stories that involve around somebody marrying the wrong person while their best friend longs to be with them and in the end they'll come together! Best example is –"

"Rachel", Sam mumbled.

"Right! You two. I was so shocked!" She laid her hands on her chest. Blaine would have believed her without that gesture even after the first time she had said it.

"Not that I don't approve or something! It's just that I had never really thought about it. And Kurt always talked about how Blaine was probably making up his mysterious lover because he was with Sam all the time. Well! Now we know that this fits perfectly together, right? I mean I know!" She held up her hands. "I swear I didn't tell anyone, cross my heart!"

Yes, she actually crossed her heart. Then she leaned forwards and laid a hand on Sam's knee.

"Poor Sammy was shattered. If I had known how you react I wouldn't have gone out, believe me! What do you think of me? I'm not the person who runs around, gossiping! My name is neither Santana nor Quinn!"

"But… I still don't get…" Blaine looked at Sam, his brain too empty to formulate questions.

Sam blew his nose, then took a mug from the table in front of him.

"I won't tell Kurt about you two, Blaine. I promise. It will be hard, no question. He will think I'm betraying him –"

"Just like me", Sam whispered. "I'm betraying him, too. And… I'm afraid Burt and Carol will throw me out if they knew."

The last words he directed at Blaine who felt a smile emerging from his chest. But it wasn't the time to smile now. Not really. Still he could be glad Sam seemed to be better today, right?

"Sam, I don't think they'd do that! They are good hearted people who don't judge! But just in case you feel too uncomfortable my offer still stands. Or rather the offer from my fathers since I don't live here anymore", Rachel said.

"Yeah, no, wouldn't be strange at all to move in with two guys whose daughter has already moved out", Sam said.

"I'm just saying you wouldn't be homeless!"

"Yes", Blaine said. His friends looked at him so he shrugged. He couldn't say that this would be the best thing ever, could he? Sam not living with the Hummel-Hudson's anymore. As much as Blaine liked them it would be weird and awkward being there even when Kurt would be back in New York. It was such a selfish wish, wasn't it?

But there was a more important thing to talk about.

Blaine cleared his throat. "Well, don't get me wrong but… is there something for the Hummel-Hudson's to know at the moment or…?"

Sam puckered his lips and returned his look. Those were the longest seconds Blaine had ever lived. His heart threatened to spring out of his chest but his hands couldn't move.

"What kind of question is that?" Sam asked. Then he sneezed and fumbled a tissue out of a box on the table. Blaine only now saw that there many used ones lying on the ground.

When Sam was done with blowing his nose he looked at Blaine again and said:

"I overreacted yesterday."

"Yeah, you did! But given the facts I understand it."

He slowly glided closer before Sam threw himself at him. Two arms pressed him strongly against the blond boy. Blaine hugged back, buried his face in Sam's shoulder and cried.

"You idiot", he mumbled while in fact he knew that Sam was the best and smartest boy that ever lived on this planet. In this Universe. Now and forever.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry", Sam whispered. Blaine chuckled with relief and lifted his face. When he saw Rachel his senses returned. It might have been nice that she watched them with a warm smile but on the other hand he'd preferred to be alone with Sam.

Blaine cleared his throat and moved back from Sam without breaking their contact. Should he thank Rachel now? After all she had made Sam a nervous wreck in the first place, hadn't she?

"Well", she said, putting her hands together. "Aren't reunions nice. Blaine, do you now want to drink something? Tea, coffee, coke, water?"

"Yeah. Uhm, water."

When Rachel had left the room they hugged again. Blaine felt Sam shaking and tried to hold him close, give him a break from the constant stress he was under with Kurt and Finn in the house.

"Have you eaten today?" Blaine asked.

"No. I'm sick, I don't want to."

"You should." Blaine stroked over his blond hair. "And maybe you could stay one night here. Relax a bit. Just one night, Sam", he added because Sam had pulled back.

"No, I can't! Finn will think… this is not better than the whole thing with Kurt."

"Finn won't think anything, Sam. You and Rachel are friends, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but… he already…"

"Here we gooo, a glass of water!" Rachel put it in front of Blaine. "Will you guys stay for dinner? I would've asked Kurt over because my Dads are already in Paris but you're here now. Not that you are second choice. Well, okay, maybe you are. You don't mind, though, do you? Do you like fried potatoes?"

"Yes. Rachel, thank you", Blaine said. Rachel left the room again and Blaine took Sam's hand.

"You can't always do everything right and never hurt people. Kurt will be hurt sooner or later and it's his problem", Blaine said. "Don't put that weight on your shoulders."

Sam still looked exhausted. But in the next moment Blaine felt hot lips squashing against his. It took him by surprise but one second later he automatically returned the kiss, pushed Sam back to get a better grip on his mouth and felt his own tiredness and fears shrinking into a little puddle of mud. Sam's tongue licked it away. Not only that, Sam also moved his upper body against Blaine's in tiny but fierce movements.

It was some passion that got stirred up in Blaine, now, too. Without thinking he pulled Sam closer and tried to feel as much of his warm body on his own. Then very abruptly Sam pulled back, turned away from Blaine… and sneezed.

Blaine leaned back on the couch and couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh God! I don't want to infect you", Sam said into a tissue.

"Sam… you already have. With a fever that I call Sammyness."

Sam closed his eyes and snorted, his mouth in a smile. Blaine stretched out his hand to let his fingers glide through Sam's hair. Everything was good again. They were together. Other problems they could solve later but as long as they were together nothing was too bad.

* * *

 

Now the Sunday hadn't turned out too bad. After dinner they had watched a movie in the Berry's living room and Sam and Blaine had sat together, held hands and watched each other more than the TV. It was the most relaxing time they had in… Sam didn't know how long. He and Blaine never had so much time as a couple together. It was the best thing ever, making all his problems feel small and the warm ball of love in his chest grow big enough to enfold them both. Maybe if he could have this more often, maybe even daily he wouldn't think so much about how Blaine would go back to Kurt.

Suddenly it was ten p.m. and Rachel yawned.

"I don't know about you guys but I'm going to bed."

"Oh. Well." Blaine sat up and stretched his arms. "Should I ask Cooper to pick me up or are you willing to drive me?"

Sam frowned. "What, am I your chauffeur now?"

Blaine just grinned and leaned in for a little kiss.

"You can stay the night, if you want. I have a guest room" Rachel said.

Blaine turned to her. "He's got some issues with what Finn could think…"

"Oh! Finn will believe what I tell him."

Sam had to admit it was very tempting to stay one night away from his step family. Alone to be able to sleep in without screams waking him up… But this house wasn't Kurt-free-zone, was it? What sense would it make then?

"See?" Blaine shook Sam's hand and looked at him as if he had just won the lottery. "And you know, if you and Rachel had a secret affair you wouldn't spent the night at her house, anyway, right? See how stupid this is? Even Finn would have to admit that."

"Yeah?"

Blaine nodded and squeezed his hand. "And I'll come over tomorrow for breakfast, okay? Rachel, would that be okay?"

"Blaine", Sam said. "I'm sure Kurt will show up sooner or later."

"It __is__  okay. Honestly, I don't know how you boys managed to even get together with all those people around you."

Was she hinting at Blaine's mother? Because Sam wouldn't want Blaine to know that he had talked about that, too. It was embarrassing enough as it was that he got frightened by that woman.

But Blaine just nodded and Rachel said she could keep Kurt away for one day, dragging him to the mall and stuff. Sam sure would appreciate some real alone time with Blaine.

"I have just one question left", Sam said. He raised a finger. "Why are you so nice? Aren't you mad that I stole Blaine from Kurt?"

Rachel bit her lip and looked at her hands. "Look. It's not my busyness who breaks up with whom. And I for one think…" She waggled her head and looked at Blaine. "Don't take it personally but I had the feeling you and Kurt shouldn't have gotten back together in the first place. It seemed a bit… forced."

Sam nodded like the sensible man he was, carefully watching Blaine's reaction and making a mental note to tell Rachel later what great observation skills she had. And maybe apologise for having sent rude texts. Oh. Wasn't there something with Marley about that, too…?

"Did you tell him?" Blaine asked.

"Yes. But Kurt can be very stubborn."

"Tell me about it!"

Well, it was great to see how Rachel and Blaine bonded over gossiping about Kurt. It really was. But if Sam wanted to actually get his stuff here he should be going now. Also Burt wanted his truck back before tomorrow because he had to work.

"And I will not pressure you into anything but when Kurt's finds out I knew and didn't tell him… He will be beyond mad. So maybe we could all get together like responsible adults and talk about it?" Rachel suggested.

"No!" Sam said. "I'm not a responsible adult."

Blaine shook his head, too. "Let's not talk about this right now, we're all too tired. Maybe in a few days?"

"Well. Okay." Rachel sighed and got up.

Ten minutes later Sam dropped Blaine off in front of his house. Since it was dark and no one around, they kissed in the car. Blaine didn't even mind the fact that Sam was sick. Strange boy. But Sam wouldn't complain. God knew he had enough to go through to complain about some fluffy Blaine kisses.

After a long silence only interrupted by smacking noises they separated.

"I'm looking forward to tomorrow", Blaine said.

"Me too. When will you be there?"

"Whenever you want."

Sam smirked. "So six a.m. would be okay?"

"Well, I doubt you'd choose this time but if you did, yes. I'd be okay with that. Whatever you want."

"Let me get back to that", Sam grinned. He took another mouthful of Blaine's lips. They were awesome as ever and anyway the only warm thing right now. Without them he'd freeze to death.

"Okay. I have to go now", Blaine said. And nibbled on Sam's lower lip. Oh God, it was soft and relaxing but exciting at the same time. He would spend _so_  much more time just somehow touching or tasting Blaine's body, that much was sure. 

* * *

 

Well. It had taken a few more minutes than planned but finally Sam arrived at the Hummel-Hudson's. Let the worst part of the evening begin!

As he got out of the car he looked down the street. The Berry's red Porsche was standing a few feet away. Sam narrowed his eyes but he couldn't see inside the car. Just when he had decided that Rachel was already inside the lights of the car when shortly on and out. Wait, didn't she want to get inside? She couldn't leave Sam alone in this!

Sam jogged to the car and knocked against the window.

"What are you waiting for, come on."

Rachel leaned over to the passenger seat. "Oh, no, just get your stuff and come. If I go inside and Finn sees me he'd want to talk. At that's never done in less than half an hour. I'm tired. Don't forget my make-up bag, okay? Let's go!" She waved him away so Sam didn't know what else he could say and turned around.

Crap.

First he met no one. He put clothes and things into a bag and also grasped a comic book. What else? The make-up bag. And Cookies? Oh no, he had wanted to stop eating them. Christmas was over. Okay. Now find Carol. Maybe he would get away with meeting only her. It was half past ten after all and maybe Finn and Kurt were asleep already… yeah.

Well, maybe not but… you know. Sam was good at being inconspicuous. He was Blond Chameleon on a mission as he tiptoed downstairs. Nightbird wasn't far away. The house was quiet, no, deadly calm. They were alone but still not allowed being in here. Exciting! Sam stopped in his tracks. This was also exciting for parts of his lower body. Blond Chameleon and Nightbird could get it on wherever they wanted! They were powerful, almighty, confident with adult themes and –

"Sam? What are you doing?"

Sam looked up the stairs that he was hovering on, fully clothed with jacket and hat and a bag in his hand.

Kurt stood there in a blue-white pyjama with little reindeers on it, his hair fuzzy as if he had slept already. Seriously? At half past ten on a vacation Sunday?

"Where are you – oh. Of course." Kurt bit his lip and turned around without any further comment.

What? Oh well. Sam couldn't care about Kurt's nightmares now. He put his bag on the stairs and poked his head into the living room. Carol wasn't here, but Burt would do just as well. The bad thing was that Finn sat there and now looked at him questioningly.

"Hey buddy. Back from your mission?"

"Yes. But I… wanted to ask…" Sam got in and addressed Burt. His heart beat pretty fast and Sam had to gulp it down.

"I'm going to spend the night at… if that's okay?"

Damn, it was harder to say than imagined. Sam avoided Finn's eyes and watched Burt nodding.

"Sure! Well, you know I need the truck but I suppose you're walking over to the Anderson's?"

"Uh…" Sam cleared his throat. No, to the Berry's. Say it. The Berry's. As in rasp _ _berry__ , like Blaine's hair gel. Or as in __The Beach Boys__ just with other letters. Fuck, did Finn have to stare at Sam the __whole time?__

"Yeah", Sam said. No, no, no! He added: "You're right I won't take the truck" but did that undo the lie? Only if he now said 'because Rachel is here to take me to her house'.

Finn took a sip from a bottle he held in his hand. Sam glanced at the TV. How nice, cars and women. Must be one of the thousand parts of __The Fast And The Furious__.

"Anything else?" Burt asked.

Last chance. We all know how good Sam Evans was with last chances, don't we? Sam shook his head in __preparation__  for his statement, okay, but Burt and Finn both turned their attention away from him.

"Uh. Yes, there's one more thing", Sam said.

Aaand the attention was back. Couldn't at least Finn look away? His eyes… the look in them this afternoon…

"I don't know when I will be back", Sam said.

Burt waved it off. "Just check in with me from time to time to tell me you're still alive."

"Okay. Yeah. Well, then…" Sam lifted a hand. Wait, that's it? What kind of weak attempt of telling the truth was that?

"Hey, Sam!" Finn called him. "Don't forget to come to the party on Tuesday. It's gonna be __awesome__!" He lifted his bottle and winked at Sam who failed in winking back. He just smiled, nodded like an idiot and then was alone in the hallway.

Well, that had been… SHIT. Sam dashed his hands repeatedly against his forehead. How stupid was he? How hard could it be to utter the words 'oh, by the way I spend the night at your ex-girlfriend's house, you know, the girl you're wanting to get back together with and she's outside waiting in the car but doesn't want to speak to you, you're okay with that, right?' ?

On the other hand: Finn wouldn't even __know__. Blaine could confirm that Sam had been with him and it wasn't like the Hummel-Hudson's were best friends with the Andersons and Sam would be back tomorrow, no one would have to know. Yes. That's how it would be.

Sam excited the house like a professional serial killer and ran to the Porsche. He got in, slammed the door and shouted "Go, go, goooo!" He cramped his hand around the seat to be prepared for the tire squeaking turn onto the street and the at least 100 km/h drive to Rachel's house… but somehow they were __still__  standing here. (And no, the thought of __'The Fast And The Furious'__  hadn't influenced his imagination __at all__!)

Rachel turned around the key as fast as if she was dealing with a dangerous bomb that could explode any minute: very slow.

"Put your seatbelt on."

Sam rolled his eyes and did it.

" _ _Go__."

"Sam, who is driving, you or me?"

"At the moment no one."

Oh my God. Sam seriously didn't know how Finn would want such a lame girlfriend. But that wasn't Sam's problem. He bit his tongue to not say anything on the way to her house. He realised he didn't need to be tensed any more when they were a few blocks away but somehow he still was.

 

* * *

_December 30th, Monday: 1 day until New Year's Eve_

 

Blaine awoke at nine o'clock with a big smile on his face. Today would be the most amazing day ever. Sam and he would finally have time to be alone. Could life be any better!?

He got dressed faster than ever before. Then he sneaked into the kitchen to gather breakfast things like donuts, scones, jam, ham, tea bags… Just when he was ready the doorbell rang. Blaine threw a glance at the clock. Not ten yet. Who'd come over that early?

His mother wasn't around and his father had just lightened himself a pipe so Blaine went to get the door.

His heart literally stopped when he saw the boy standing there, holding up a plastic bag.

"What are you __doing__  here?" Blaine asked. Granted, not very politely. But given the fact that it was Kurt people might forgive him.

Kurt smiled. "Oh. Sam has forgotten this special game that he was playing all the time. I mean, could he survive without it? I'm just being a nice person –"

"No, you're not. You're using an excuse to show up here unannounced. You could've called Sam and ask him if wants that… whatever for him." Blaine waved to the bag.

Kurt deflated. "Alright. You got me. I wanted to see you. If I would've called Sam would've just come over to get it, what's the point in that?"

Blaine shook his head. He couldn't believe Kurt, he just couldn't believe such a boldness.

"This is turning into stalking, Kurt."

"Now hold your breath! I might have overstepped a boundary but it's not like I follow you everywhere you go. And by the way, Sam __does__  play this game. Finn just found it and wondered how Sam would be able to survive it. It was a short circuit reaction, yes, but… I'm not stalking you! Oh… get over yourself, will you?"

Kurt turned around, shaking his head. Blaine snorted.

"Yeah. You are the one showing up here but I have to get over myself. Alright."

Kurt jumped back to face the door and threw the plastic bag against Blaine. He caught it thanks to his reflexes but it still wasn't the nicest gesture ever.

"You're a jerk, you know that? I don't know what I'm doing crying about you. I should be glad it's over!" Kurt cried.

"It sure would be better for your health!"

Kurt frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Blaine raised his eyebrows and with them the bag.

"What the hell is Sam supposed to do with a game in a house without any consoles? You've been to Rachel's like a thousand times and haven't noticed it? That's what I call dysfunctional memory."

Kurt pursed his lips and tilted his head.

"What?"

Blaine waited a few seconds for another attack. The cold December air tugged at his sleeves and he took a few steps back. Kurt wasn't worth freezing to death.

Before Blaine had closed the door Kurt came a few steps closer.

"Sam is at Rachel's?"

Blaine narrowed his eyes. What was the sense of this charade now?

"Sam is not… here." Kurt pointed with one finger to the ground.

"Is there a hidden joke in this or…?" Blaine shook his head in disbelieve. Kurt kept staring and Blaine really didn't feel like this was going somewhere. He shot Kurt a last annoyed glance and finally closed the door. Seriously, this boy was unbelievable! Even more unbelievable was how long Blaine had put up with him, even adored every word he said! This…

Blaine shook his head. No anger today. He'd go to Sam soon and everything would be good. Yeah.

Upstairs in his room he checked his phone and saw that he had gotten a text from Jake yesterday already. Now no one could blame Blaine for not checking his phone when he had been with Sam, right?

_Maybe we can do something tomorrow?_

Blaine sucked in air through his teeth. Oh, gosh. He felt so bad for Jake whose break-up with Marley had apparently made an outcast of him. And Blaine really wanted to hang out with him and everything. But _today?_

_Today is really bad, how about tomorrow?_

The answer came immediately. _Tomorrows already NYE_

Oh, right. Blaine still had to ask Rachel about Jake and the party. Well, Jake could wait one more day, couldn't he? Sure he could.

Blaine put his phone into his pocket and gathered everything he needed. Then his phone buzzed again and Blaine pulled it out, surprised that people seemed to love him today. It was Ryder. _Is sam ok? He doesn't answer my texts and he was pretty mean to marley_

Blaine sighed. Oh Sam, who else did you offend Saturday? Blaine quickly wrote back _yeah he is ok I tell him to write you_ and finally left the house.

 

* * *

 

__Coming up__ : Sam and Blaine finally come around to spending quality time with each other! But then get interrupted by an 'enemy' crossing the lines.


	15. Party Preparations

As soon as the Berry's door opened an amazing scent crept into Blaine's nose and made him think of pancakes with butter and vanilla ice cream.

"This is going to be the best day ever, isn't it?" he said as he took off his jacket. Rachel laughed and did the opposite, put on her jacket.

"I'm sure it will be. I'll be gone for as many hours as I can and you know what, I'll send a text before I come home. You know, just in case…" She winked.

Blaine felt his cheeks getting hot. He and Sam weren't there yet but he appreciated her effort especially since it was her house that she gave to them. He thanked her quite a few times before Rachel told him to shut up. Then she was gone and Blaine went to the kitchen.

Sam was wearing an apron. Blaine put a hand in front of his mouth and tried not to laugh. He failed, though.

"What? It's sexy!" Sam said, pointing with a wooden spoon at the writing _'Kiss the chef'_. His nose and eyes still looked red from sickness but he seemed so much happier and more relaxed than last night.

"Sure, yeah, it is", Blaine grinned. He went to stand next to Sam and looked into the pan where a pancake was frying.

"Mm, smells good."

A wooden spoon poked his arm. Blaine saw it was the unused end, good for Sam. Then he looked up to meet his eyes.

"How about you what the apron tells you to?"

Blaine lifted his eyebrows. "Well, if the apron says so then who am I to deny its order?"

"That's what I'm saying!"

Sam tasted like butter.

"Someone grazed from the pancakes", Blaine said.

"Gotta make sure they taste, don't I? Now go grab some plates… if you find them…" Sam looked around in the foreign kitchen. Blaine opened some cupboards before he found what he needed. He set the table and put the things he had brought over on it, too.

"Domestic life with my boyfriend. That's something I'd like to experience every day." Blaine smiled at Sam but the blond just looked down into the pan.

"I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment, Blaine. It's just… I can't tell them yet and –"

"What, no, Sam, I didn't mean it like that at all! I don't want you to feel uncomfortable at the Hummel-Hudson's. We can stay in the closet as long as you want. I don't care. I'm just glad we're together", Blaine said. He went to Sam and leaned against the kitchen cabinets. Luckily Sam smiled again.

"I'm glad about that, too. But I also don't want to hide. If it wouldn't be so intrusive I'd actually consider living with the two Berry dads. But I can't do that. I mean yes, I'm the only one living with Burt and Carol now, too, but in the beginning I was with Finn and Kurt there. I don't want to move in alone with strangers."

"No, Sam, it's okay. You don't have to. We'll find places where we can be together, don't be afraid."

"Well, today we got this house so… are you ready for some pancakes, baby?"

Blaine laughed about Sam's sudden enthusiasm. They sat down and ate, and it was as Blaine had expected the best beginning of the day since he couldn't even tell when.

"By the way, I couldn't tell them yesterday. Finn looked at me and I didn't even dare to say Rachel's name. I'm such a coward… But it's gotta be okay, I'll be back tonight and no one needs to know I wasn't at your place, right?" Sam said.

The fork stopped on its way to Blaine's mouth as he looked up and met Sam's insecure eyes.

"Uh, what? You didn't… they think you're at my place?"

Sam nodded. Blaine let the fork sink down and cleared his throat. Suddenly Kurt's behaviour this morning when he had heard that Sam wasn't at Blaine's made a whole lot more sense.

"I might have… now, don't freak out, okay? Kurt came over this morning to bring you a game he thought you'd miss. So I might have told him you're at Rachel's and…"

Sam's eyes widened. "Might have?"

"Well. I did." Blaine puckered his lips and watched his boyfriend getting all silent.

"Great. That's it then, isn't it? Now Finn will hate me, too."

"Sam, you're being overly dramatic. Finn will not think you're trying to steal Rachel from him. Especially when Rachel tells him so."

"But what should I tell him why I'm here and not at your place? Or why I lied about that!? Oh, do you think the surprise excuse will still work?"

"What…?"

Sam started to talk about an excuse he had somehow made up yesterday to explain his communication with Rachel. Blaine thought it was a bit over the top but since Sam seemed to feel better with it he then made some suggestions about what the surprise could be.

That's how they ended up in the living room with paper and pens. But when they had finished the list and Sam immediately was on his feet talking about how they could do it Blaine tugged his sleeve and pulled him back on the couch.

"Can't we do this later when Rachel is back?" he asked.

"Yeah. I guess." Sam took a tissue out of the box on the table and blew his nose.

"We're barely really alone so I thought we could enjoy it a bit."

"Yes, totally. Wait a minute…" Sam got up and lit some candles on a commode. Then he came back to the couch, his arms slipping around Blaine's waist and his face burying in his shoulder. Blaine instinctively put his hand into blond strands and caressed them. Being close to Sam was always heaven on earth, no matter if they kissed or cuddled.

"Now Mr Evans… I'd really like to hear your story."

Sam lifted his head.

"My story? Well, I was born on a sunny day in May …"

Blaine chuckled. He leaned forward and sneaked a warm smack from Sam's lips.

"The story how you found out you're bi", he said.

He had to wait a few moments for Sam to speak but since they tasted each other's lips in that time Blaine sure didn't complain.

"Okay, be prepared for the most boring story ever", Sam eventually said. He leaned against the couch and put strands out of his face.

"Back in the days when you weren't at McKinley we had an exchange student from Ireland. He was lonely so I took him on and we spend Christmas at my parents. Yup, that's true, you weren't my first one. So after that Valentine's Day was coming up and I somehow wanted to spend it with him, too, but of course it didn't work out. And it wasn't like I asked him out or anything. He was busy dating Sugar so…" Sam shrugged.

"Are you talking about Rory?"

"Uhm, yes."

"I know Rory, Sam. I am at McKinley's since over two years."

"Oh. Well, guess I didn't really notice you then."

Blaine lifted his eyebrows and Sam poked into his chest.

"Hey, __you__  were busy dating Kurt so don't complain", he said. "Anyway. I also liked Mercedes and later Brittany so I went back to thinking I'm straight until you… said you liked me…"

"You mean until you noticed it without me saying anything", Blaine said. "Takes one to know one, huh?"

"No! Anybody would've noticed it, Blaine, you were pretty obvious with all that staring at my lips."

Blaine grinned. "Can you blame me? They are as delicious as I had thought." He stole a kiss.

"No, yours are. Mm."

Some more light kisses and then Sam held on to Blaine's lips, nibbling on them as if they were candy. And they didn't have to be cautious. No one was in the house but them, no one would interrupt them. Blaine sighed in relief and also in answer to Sam's heavenly mouth. If they could only do this all day long!

The melody of ' _Pirates of the Caribbean'_ rang out. Blaine jerked up while Sam wasn't bothered about the interruption and simply kept on kissing Blaine's cheek, wandering down his neck. Blaine leaned back, closed his eyes and shivered from head to toe but… the melody was still ringing.

"Don't you want to answer that?" he asked.

"No, not really."

Blaine giggled. Just because Sam hit a sensible spot, it was a pure bodily reaction, nothing more. He pressed himself against Sam's torso, his hand running along Sam's sides. Finally the phone stopped ringing.

"Can I give you a hickey?" Sam asked.

"Oh… yeah."

"Oh yeah, _let's do it, baby!_ " Sam disguised his voice and lightly shook Blaine's shoulders but when Blaine cared to open his eyes his boyfriend was back to business already, softly sucking on his skin. Blaine closed his eyes again and enjoyed the goose bumps running over his whole body. Sam's scent, his warm, firm body so close and his wet mouth… his teeth sometimes pleasantly scratching over Blaine's skin… mm.

"Almost ready. Just let me... Blaine, if I make another one you can tell everybody a vampire sucked you!"

"Yeah, uhm… I don't think I want this…"

"You sure? That would be __so__  awesome."

"I am sure, Sam." Blaine lifted his head and caught his eyes.

_'Pirates of the Caribbean'_ again. Sam rolled his eyes.

"I swear to God if that is not important as in life or death important I'm going to kill…" He reached to the table, took his phone and answered it with: "Rachel."

His hand was playing with Blaine's hair as he listened. Blaine stroked over his neck. Now he had proof on him that he was Sam's. Oh wow.

"Shit! Why the hell didn't you… what?"

Sam glided back and broke the body contact. Blaine sighed and just hoped that the crisis wasn't too big and they still had some twosome time left. The spot on his neck tingled and he wanted more of that. More of Sam's mouth. He had almost forgotten how nice intimacy could be. Not that it hadn't been great with Kurt but different, of course, and lately there hadn't been much of it, too.

"No, don't bother. I'll just have to choose if I want Kurt or Finn hating on me. No, dude, I'm totally not overreacting!"

From Sam's tone Blaine guessed they were done for now. He cleared his throat and adjusted his shirt, trying to not pay attention to his disappointment. He laid a hand on Sam's arm what made Sam look at him and relax at the touch.

"I don't know if that's really an option", Sam said. "No. I know. Okay, I think about. Okay!"

He ended the conversation and threw the phone on the table. Naturally it glided over it and fell down. Sam just cursed and leaned back on the couch.

"So Rachel wants me to think about coming out."

"What happened?"

Sam leaned his head against the couch and watched the ceiling.

"Well. I told her this morning to not tell Kurt I'm here because you know, I didn't tell them. But apparently Kurt asked very specifically how things went yesterday and if I needed to work on the surprise today too – by the way I so told you this was the perfect excuse!" Sam waggled his finger in front of Blaine's face. He simply took his hand and held it.

"Yes, Sam, you did."

"Yup, I did. Anyway. Rachel said no and that she hadn't seen me today yadda, yadda, and then Kurt started screaming… I don't know what he thinks is going on exactly but you know, one lie always leads to another… that's what _'Men in Black'_ taught us, right?"

"So…?"

"So Rachel thinks we should just tell them. She also thinks Burt and Carol won't throw me out of the house."

"I don't think that either. But Sam, if you're not ready to tell them… about you, about us…"

"Mh." Sam chewed on his lower lip and stared into space. "I'm afraid but… I think the longer this goes on the madder it gets. If we could just leave it behind us… and be like any normal couple without having to hide… well, that would be nice."

"Yeah. It would be. But let's not rush into decisions."

Blaine wondered about his own reservation but something just didn't sit right with the thought of the Hummel-Hudson's knowing about them. Or to be specific, Kurt. He'd talk it down just like Blaine's mother had and to make things worse he lived with Sam and could talk to him whenever he wanted. And Sam was… he listened too much to what other people said about him. If Blaine's mother had been able to get to his nerves after two short conversations then what would Kurt's permanent influence do to him?

"Alright. Well. Let's start with the Trojan firework horse, maybe that will solve all our problems."

Sam jumped up while Blaine mumbled "Yeah… or not" and then followed his crazy boyfriend.

* * *

Turned out they couldn't make a Trojan firework horse because the sales people wouldn't sell fireworks to under-age teenagers. Back at the Berry's Sam went into serious thinking mode. Could he dare to tell Burt and Carol and… Kurt? As awkward as living there was now it would get so much worse if Kurt knew. So, so much worse.

But he could wait until Kurt was gone. If Kurt knew when he was in New York, yeah, that would be acceptable. And Carol knew already anyway, didn't she…?

"So, Sam, uhm… Saturday you send a few offensive texts to people…?" Blaine said out of the blue when they were in 'his' room thinking about what to do without fireworks.

"Oh. Yeah, I should apologise to Marley, I forgot", he said.

"What did you write her? The same as Jake?"

"Jake? I didn't write Jake", Sam said. He got out his phone and send _I'm sorry_  to Marley, then went through his send folder. Oops, he _had_ texted Jake. Better send him a sorry, too. Just as Sam started to type he got another text reading _I'm home in ten._

"Okay, now she's getting ridiculous. What do I care when she comes home? Blaine, do you think Rachel has always wanted a brother and now thinks she's gotten one?"

"Uh… what?" Blaine looked up from a paper he had written on.

Sam waved his phone. But he didn't care to repeat his question since the riddle what Blaine was writing was much more interesting. He grasped the paper and had to admit it was boring that Blaine just let him. He could've protested and thrown himself onto Sam which would have led to some exciting rolling around on the bed.

"Extremely good tasting punch", he read and then shot Blaine a dismissive look.

"What? You could think of something yourself instead of playing with your phone."

"I had the best idea ever and since it doesn't work out I'm kind of demotivated", Sam said.

"Don't give up that fast! It's the same as in school, Sam. When something doesn't work out you immediately lose interest. But some things are worth working on!"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Whatever, we're on winter break now! Do I get a kiss?"

Sam threw a proud glance at the red spot on Blaine's neck. The hickey had turned out so good. If he only could make another one right next to it so they could tell people a vampire had visited Blaine. That would be a good explanation for it, right? Because if people saw the hickey after Blaine had spent all day with Sam they'd know what was going on.

"Only if you promise to not lose interest in me after two weeks."

"Oh my God, Blaine, I can't believe you just said that! I would never ever!"

"It's just…"

"What?" Sam crossed his arms, wondering if Blaine actually meant this serious.

"Well, you're not exactly known for you long-term-relationships", Blaine mumbled.

"That's because until now people only wanted me as an in-between while waiting for better lovers. So as long as you're not going back to Kurt we oughta be good."

"Then we will be good indeed."

Sam raised his eyebrows. Then he very inconspicuously puckered his lips. Eventually Blaine let go of his tension and grinned.

"Yes, Sam, I know. Come here."

Despite his words he leaned over and threw his arms around Sam's shoulders, pressing his mouth onto Sam's. It might have been that Sam exaggerated the throwback and pulled Blaine with him. They landed on the bed and Sam waggled his eyebrows.

Blaine propped himself on his elbows and looked down at Sam. With one hand he stroked hair from his forehead and drove a finger alongside his face. Sam closed his eyes and enjoyed the light tingling it caused. Then he felt something warm and wet on his cheek and instinctively opened his lips in response. Also to draw in some air because all of a sudden it was pretty hot in here. Blaine lying on him didn't exactly help that. It actually might have been the cause for this sudden hotness. Sam let a hand wander down on Blaine's side and back, everything was warm and muscular but still _soft_.

"Your body is nice."

"Thanks, Sam. Yours, too."

"Not after all those cookies but…"

Lips stopped him from speaking on. After a few moments they went to his ear and send a few shudders down his guts.

"Yours, too."

"Okay." Damn that had sounded too whimpering. But what could Sam do, he was only a man with emotions. Emotions that didn't know where to go and what to do with that gorgeous boy on top of him.

"I'm hoooome!" a mumbled voice came from downstairs.

"Let's just ignore her", Sam quickly said. He put his hand on Blaine's back to stop him from going away even though he hadn't made any movements. Luckily Blaine kissed him again. By now Sam knew the flavour of Blaine's lips by heart, yes, he could taste them by just thinking about them. But imagining was nothing like really nibbling on them so he used every opportunity to do that.

"Do you, like, use a special chapstick on your lips? Blaine flavour? Can you get me some?"

Blaine chuckled. He rolled down from Sam (damn!) and drove his hands over his face. Sam propped himself on his elbows.

"Well?"

"What?" Blaine faced him. "No, I don't have chapsticks with Blaine flavour. What even is that?"

"It's you, of course! The heavenly taste of your lips. But if it doesn't come in form of a chapstick then I'm afraid I'll have to kiss you all day long."

"In that case I'm personally going to make sure no one will ever create a chapstick with Blaine-flavour." Blaine smiled and sat up, leaned over for a smack and then stretched his arms.

"I'm also waiting for chapsticks with liquorice flavour, by the way", Sam said.

"Good to know."

"And peppermint."

"I'm sure that's already a thing."

"Not the ones that taste like toothpaste! The real candy peppermint."

"Uhuh."

Sam shook his head about such ignorance. Blaine got up and offered him his hand, so of course Sam took it. Only when they were in the hallway he figured that next time he should think about what Blaine was planning to do before accepting that kind of body contact. But who was he kidding, his brain stopped working whenever it saw the slightest possibility of having a part of Blaine on his body. Woah, that came out weird. But he wasn't talking out loud so it didn't matter…

They were entering the living room and Sam felt his chest swelling with pride because they were still holding hands. Uh yeah, look, world or… just Rachel, we are a couple!

Except that it wasn't Rachel who was in the room.

Sam's legs refused to work and his feet actually froze as Finn turned around on the couch. Of course his eyes immediately fixated their joined hands. Sam let go but it was too late. Finn's eyes had widened already.

Rachel came from the kitchen, carrying a tray.

"There you are, boys. I brought Finn over because he really wanted to help fix up the surprise, I couldn't talk him out of it. But I already said when Sam doesn't want to give it away early than there's nothing I can do. So, Sam, what… What?"

She had put down the tray and now frowned at Sam's motionless state. Blaine cleared his throat and went a few steps further. It really didn't help the situation that Finn stood now and stared at Blaine's neck.

"Oh my… Is this…"

"We can explain", Blaine said. "Please, don't freak out and –"

"What should he freak out about?" Sam quickly said. "There's nothing to freak out about. Everything is normal and like usual."

He kind of doubted that he still could turn the wheel around but it was worth a try, wasn't it?

"Are you _gay_?"

Finn only looked at Sam who sighed and hid his face behind his hand. Shit, oh shit. Not this way! How was he… what on earth… where even begin…?

"Now, calm down, all of you. Finn, can you please open the wine bottle? You know how I'm always afraid I spill some. Blaine –"

"No! Sam!" Finn interrupted. "Are you saying it has been you all the time? You lied to our faces, me and Kurt and even my parents? I mean… what the hell?"

"It's not like that!" Sam said although it was exactly like that. "I mean, what was I supposed to say? Kurt would've killed me!"

"Yeah, and he would've had every right, don't you think? Since when are you running around stealing other people's boyfriends? It has been bad enough that you went out with Quinn but – this? I mean…" Finn sighed and shifted on his feet.

"Finn. Sam has a bad time as it is", Rachel said. She stepped to Finn and laid a hand on his arm and luckily it relaxed the quarterback.

"This is why he's here, isn't it?" he mumbled.

"Look", Blaine said. "This is not about stealing someone. We fell in love, things like that happen!"

"In… love?"

Blaine blushed and he threw a side glance at Sam. Well. Since it was time for the truth now he might as well make a fool of himself.

"Yes. That's why two people get together or at least __should__  get together, Finn. Because they are in love with each other. And to answer your question, I'm bisexual. And to answer your other question, yes, that's also why I stayed the night here. I needed some peace. Do you think I __like__  hiding and sneaking around? It's exhausting!"

Finn crossed his arms. "Oh is it?"

"You should know, having been in a secret relationship with Quinn while she was with me?"

"Don't you dare… Well, okay, I give you that one." Finn shrugged. "It's kind of true."

"Not just kind of."

"And we didn't cheat on Kurt. I didn't. Not this time", Blaine threw in.

"Wow, it's… a lot to process, you know? I think I'm going to take that wine now." Finn went to the table and Rachel threw them a pitiful glance. It took Sam pretty much energy but eventually he sat on the couch with Rachel and Finn (Blaine in the armchair because that was the only way things could be handled right now) and gladly accepted a glass of wine.

"Dude, you and… you are gay! Oh my God. Well, it's not _that_ unexpected, I have to admit. Kurt always had a feeling about you… huh, strange that he didn't suspect anything now."

"I'm bi", Sam muttered into his glass. Not that it would make a difference. Having a gay side made one gay per definition; Sam just… had to grow into it a bit more, that's all.

"We'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Kurt", Blaine said.

"I can't… Wait a minute! Rachel, how come you knew all about it?"

"I found out by accident. And before you ask, yes, I lied to Kurt as well and that's even worse because he expects me to tell him everything and he trusts me and I'm such a bad person!"

"No, you're not", Finn quickly said. Sam crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows at his friend.

"Uhm, yeah, I guess if it's for Kurt's best…" Finn talked on. He hesitatingly patted Rachel's shoulder. Sam figured they were lucky that Finn was still in love with the brunette, that way he wouldn't just run to Kurt and tell him everything because he'd also sell Rachel.

"So… I guess there's no surprise, too?"

"Not yet", Sam said. "But we were just thinking about it."

"How about…" Finn held his hands into the air. "A dragon made out of flowers."

"Yeah, nothing easier than that", Blaine said.

"Now wait, that's actually a good idea! Are we talking Smaug or Kilgharrah?" Sam asked. Details mattered, after all that's where the devil was.

"You know what?" Rachel, who sat between them put her hands down on both Sam's and Finn's knees and got up.

"You talk about that. Blaine and I are doing actual – uhm I mean equally important work as in food preparations and so on. Because the party is tomorrow and I haven't even started yet. Are you up for that, Blaine? Otherwise I'll call some friends…"

"Oh, no, count me in. If you need advice for how to make gingerbread house I could also offer that."

"That won't be necessary", Rachel said. She stormed out of the room.

"I get the book with our notes", Sam said and got up. Finn answered with shortly lifting his glass and drinking.

As chance or maybe the fates (who knew, who knew…) wanted it Sam accompanied Blaine out of the room. In the hallway they instantly grinned at each other.

"Free, we are free!" Sam whispered.

"What? Sam, it's only Finn who knows now."

"Finn is the most important. He's my buddy, you know? I don't care what Kurt thinks, not really. Except that I do!" Sam quickly added as Blaine's face darkened.

"He's my buddy too, I want him to be happy and have the best life _ever_."

Blaine burst out in laughter. "Oh Sam! You're unbelievable."

"That a good thing?"

"You know it is." Blaine poked his finger into Sam's arm and wore his world lightening smile.

It was very sad they had to go separate ways now but when Sam came back into the living room and started planning the surprise with Finn he was comforted by the fact that at least he hadn't lost this friend. And it felt better talking to Finn now than all the days before because Sam had always had the feeling of caution, of better not talking too much. Now Finn knew and didn't think about it very much if you didn't count the occasional moments in when he focused on Sam and mumbled "you and Blaine, oh wow" or "I hope you don't want to kiss me now" or shit like that.

 

* * *

 

__Coming up:__ Will Sam and Finn be able to create a flower dragon? Will people ever remember that Jake exists? And maybe, just maybe Kurt is about to find out the dark secret everybody kept from him!


	16. New Year's Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long! Sometimes I forget fandom exists :-( To make up for it I'll post the next and final chapter now, too.^^

Chapter 16: New Year's Eve

 

_December 31st, Tuesday: New Year's Eve_

 

Sam's phone buzzed. He glanced at the bedside table, wondering if he actually should wake up to read one of Ryder's silly texts. Or Marley, whatever. But then again it could also be Blaine. So Sam took the trouble of extending his arm.

_Do me a favour and find out what Rachel thinks about us._

Sam blinked at the screen. What would Rachel think about them? Wasn't this a silly – oh. It wasn't Blaine, it was from Finn. Huh.

Sam drove a hand through his hair and yawned. He was still in the Berry's guest room since Finn had decided (and Sam had let him believe it was up to him) that Sam could use a few more days of Kurtlessness. And that he would be less likely to give something away when Sam wasn't around. Well, Sam certainly hadn't protested when Finn had driven him to the Hummel-Hudson's to get more stuff and back again to the Berry's. One could have thought he wanted Sam there for a reason.

Now… could this be the reason?

When he came to the kitchen, still tired and yawning, he almost didn't recognize it. Food was everywhere, on the cupboards, the table, even the chairs. On the stove were three different sized steaming jars, the oven was lighted and the dish washer was running. Rachel dashed from the fridge to the stove and back. She hadn't seen him yet and Sam wondered if he should sneak back upstairs and only come down maybe in the evening when all the work was done.

While he still weighed up the chances of getting away with it Rachel turned around.

"Oh my God, you're not even dressed! Sam, it's already elven and we have so much work to do today! Blaine and Finn will come over at twelve to help. Could you clean up the living room before that? And then we need to go grocery shopping and…"

Rachel opened a few drawers. Before Sam could ask what she needed to buy since the kitchen was literally exploding with food she held up a paper.

"Yes, and the decorations! We'll have enough time for that in the afternoon, though. Why are you still not dressed, Sam?"

He shrugged. "I haven't been upstairs in the last ten seconds so…"

"Remember the living room!" She hurried to a jar and took it from the stove. Sam used the opportunity to grab a banana from the table and go back upstairs. Well, since he was allowed to stay here and eat all the food it was only fair if he had to help with some stuff. And Blaine would be here, too. That wasn't too bad, right?

* * *

 

One hour later he had tidied the living room (moved the chair a bit, wiped over the table and TV screen because otherwise the room literally was perfect) and waited for Blaine's arrival. When the doorbell rang he sprung up from the couch where he had taken a break on and ran to the door.

"I'm got it!" he yelled to the kitchen and then tore the door open.

He didn't know why but when Sam saw it was only Blaine and Finn, without Kurt, he was relieved. Well, you never knew who brought who, right?

"You arrive together?" he asked.

"What can I say, we're both very punctual persons", Finn said. Sam let them enter, eyes fixated on Blaine who smiled at him.

"Hi", Blaine said and before he had undressed or even before Sam had closed the door the black haired stepped to him and kissed him. On the mouth. Not that Sam didn't like it but without his intent his eyes flew to Finn.

"Don't look at me, I'm okay with gay stuff. I used to live with Kurt, remember?"

"That's just __why__  I look at you", Sam said. He closed the door and watched his friend take off their jackets and hats.

"Have you talked to Rachel?" Finn asked.

"I'm trying to avoid that because all she does is giving me work", Sam said. Finn rolled his eyes and strolled to the kitchen.

"I'm afraid you won't be able to avoid all work today", Blaine said.

"I'm not lazy! I already tidied the living room. Here, look!" Sam gestured to the door. First Blaine took off his shoes, then he went into said room.

"It looks exactly like it did yesterday", he said.

"Oh, no! See how much cleaner the table is? And this chair stood very incorrectly… uhm… yeah." Sam nodded to himself. He knew he had done much good. Now all he needed to do was finish the flower dragon. Or, well, begin with it.

"Have you slept well?"

Sam puckered his mouth and looked at his boyfriend. Was he supposed to say 'no, I have missed you'? But they hadn't even spent one however innocent night together so that would be weird…?

Blaine questioningly lifted his eyebrows. Somehow Sam felt like the times he had tried to come out, his brain was torn in two different directions and therefor he didn't utter anything but opened and closed his mouth.

"Not? Does Rachel sing in her sleep so loudly everyone in the house can hear it?"

"Yes! Yes, she does!" Sam pointed his finger at Blaine and when he saw his surprised face he added: "But don't talk to her about it. She's __so__  embarrassed. Girls, you know."

Sam rolled his eyes. Then he quickly went to the armchair and pretended to check its standing position. When he had done that and Blaine still just looked at him Sam smiled and said: "Should we go to work, then?"

When they came into the kitchen Sam thought about how Finn now probably thought they had taken their time to make out and wondered why they hadn't. Instead he had babbled a whole lot of nonsense. Hereby Sam swore to himself that he wouldn't do this for the rest of the year. And in the next year, well… maybe he'd try to reduce it. Everybody needed New Year's resolutions, right?

* * *

 He and Finn drove to a few florists to get a very big amount of marigold flowers and eventually to Burt Hummel-Hudson's car repair shop to that Finn had the key. They collected the thinnest wire they could find. Back at the Berry's they tried to make it look like a dragon.

It only took two hours.

"Well. I'd say this is enough dragon", Finn eventually said. He dropped down on the couch and drove over his forehead.

"Yes. We so deserve a break! I'm starving", Sam said.

"We could sneak something out of the kitchen."

"Or we just ask for food?"

Finn shook his head. "Rachel thinks it's all for tonight."

"Silly her."

"That's what I'm saying." Finn grinned and got up.

The kitchen was somewhat tidier now, only food cans lying around instead of real food. It also was full of steam even though the window stood wide open.

Sam hadn't seen Blaine the whole time so it was understandable that he wanted to take him into his arms. If he had been a girlfriend Sam would've placed himself behind Blaine where he stood in front of the stove and laid his arms around his waist, chin on his shoulder and maybe asked for a little kiss. Well, he also would've done that if they were alone. But Finn and Rachel were here and it was strange especially in front of Finn. Although he had said he was okay with it. Plus he had immediately sat down on the set table opposite to Rachel and talked to her.

Still, when Sam walked to Blaine he found he couldn't do it. So he just leaned against the cupboard and smiled at him.

"Done?" Blaine asked.

"Not yet. But all we need to do now is attach the flowers, that will be over in no time."

"Great! But first we eat, okay? The soup is almost ready."

"Oh, yeah! Cool."

Sam held Blaine's eyes. He could say something then Blaine would introduce closeness. He was used to living out his gay impulses when others were around. Sam wasn't. He needed – and wanted – to learn it. Maybe not in public but at least when they were with friends they could trust.

Blaine seemed to get Sam's signals. With his head he gesticulated to their friends and Sam shrugged. So Blaine put down the cooking spoon and came a bit closer. He rested his underarms on Sam's shoulders and Sam put his on the other's waist, joining their foreheads.

Don't look at Finn and Rachel now.

"Are you looking forward to the party?" Blaine asked.

"No. I mean… generally, yes, but I can't kiss you at midnight so it will be awful."

"Well… you can kiss me now."

Sam bit his lip and threw a glance to the table. They weren't looking, good. When he looked back at Blaine he didn't chuckle or anything, he just watched him. Well, okay, let's just do it. Sam took a deep breath and gently pushed his lips against Blaine's. Their warm taste immediately sheathed everything in Sam. He gave in for a second, let himself fall into it and forgot his surroundings. He gulped, wetted his dry lips and let his tongue where it was, oh so slightly moving along their smooth mouths.

Blaine exhaled and pressed his body against Sam.

"Now, be glad Christmas is over because I think this qualifies as naughty", Sam whispered.

"I don't care. I need no other presents than you."

"Seriously, Blaine? You could've said 'all I want for Christmas is you' and instead you go with this?"

Blaine chuckled. Now that their mouths were separated Sam realised again where they were and __accidentally__  looked to the others. Finn watched them. A shock wave rolled through Sam's body and made him step back. Luckily Blaine turned to switch off the stove. Sam leaned back against the cupboard again and turned his head to the window. His heart was pounding hard in his chest and he had probably blushed but hell, wasn't that what he had risked? Wasn't that what he wanted to get used to? If Finn had seen him kissing a girl Sam would have told him to mind his own business and went on with it.

No, he would not be ashamed for anything from now on. Sam stretched his back and went to the table, sat down next to Rachel and waited for Finn to look at him so that he could hold his gaze this time.

"My roommate will probably sleep all day tomorrow so it's better if I go back on Thursday anyway." Finn shortly looked at Sam and back at Rachel.

"Or should I stay even longer?" Finn asked. "I can take you and Kurt back if you want to."

"Oh, hasn't he told you? We booked our flight just this morning, oh well maybe he hadn't time to tell you. Anyway, Kurt finally listened to the voice of reason and gave in when I said staying here and crying over Blaine won't help him. In fact I think his life is New York and I reminded him that it has been for some time like that and that he had been so busy that he hadn't talked much to Blaine anyway and he wouldn't miss him so much once we're back and continuing old tracks. I talked to Santana and she arranged a gig for our band this Friday so this will distract Kurt. It's the best for him to move on, don't you think? Not that he could do anything else."

Rachel looked at Sam and patted his head. He just stared at her and she immediately talked on.

"Do you know what I think? I think Kurt's not in love with Blaine anymore. You know why he went back to him in the first place? Oh, Blaine, don't take this personal, okay?"

Blaine set a mat on the table and put the pot with soup on it.

"How the hell am I supposed to not take it personally when you tell me my ex only got engaged to me because… well, what was the reason?"

"I only tell you if you promise me to not take it personal!"

Blaine rounded Finn and took the chair opposite to Sam.

"Do you promise me?"

"Yes, okay, I promise." Blaine rolled his eyes to Sam.

"Good. Because he – that's what I think but I'm pretty sure I'm right here. One hundred per cent actually. He was heartbroken and lonely. He went to Lima in the best mood and was looking forward to see you as friends and while he was there Adam broke up with him per text. Would you have guessed sweet Adam would do something like that?"

"Oh, Brittany did that to me, too!"

"And the next day I hear from Kurt you're back together. I was irritated but he told me that's what he expected all along and he had never really let go and naive as I am I believed him. And I was actually excited about the proposal! Until when we were back in New York and Kurt went on with his life as if nothing had happened. That was when I started to ponder about –"

"Do you want soup?" Sam interrupted her. When Rachel nodded he poured in some soup on her plate, then Blaine's, then his own and after that he pushed the pot to Finn who didn't think this was funny. He couldn't complain though because Rachel still talked.

"…and I came to the conclusion that he was back together with Blaine to have someone, to not have to face that Adam left him and everything. But you know what? I think there's something between him and Elliot. Of course Kurt wouldn't face that, too, but maybe now that he's single…? Mm? Maybe I can help out."

"How gracious", Sam said.

"I know! That's just how I am."

She finally started to eat and the silence during that was uncanny. Eventually Finn said: "So when will you flight back?"

"Tomorrow."

Finn chocked on his soup.

"Tomorrow already?"

"Well, it was this or Saturday. And anyway I thought the sooner Kurt left the better. For him and for you." She nodded to Blaine.

"So… we'll let him leave without telling him?" Blaine asked. He looked at Sam who preferred to silently ask his soup for advice. It was tomato soup, by the way, but not an instant soup, no, a real self-made Anderson-Tomato-Soup. It made his from sickness itching throat smoother.

"Sam?"

"I don't know, okay? We can tell him just before he gets to the airport?"

"Now that –" Rachel began but Blaine interrupted her.

"Or we tell him tonight."

"And ruin his New Year's Eve? We already ruined his Christmas!"

"You didn't ruin his Christmas", Finn said. "He said it was still nice being here with his parents."

"And this whole 'ruining' thing is just an excuse, you know that, right?" Rachel said. "He's not gladder without knowing. Maybe the truth sometimes hurts but it sure is better than believing a lie. And it's healthier, too. For everyone involved."

Sam put his spoon down and sighed.

"Can I stay another night?" he asked Rachel. She nodded (unfortunately because if not Sam could've said he didn't want to spent the night in a house with a knowing Kurt in it) so Sam did, too.

"Alright. Let's tell him tonight. And... Burt and Carol, too?"

"Uhm", Finn said.

"What?" Sam glared at him.

"It's not what you think, okay? I haven't told anybody! Mum actually started talking about it. She must've seen you or something. When I said you'd stay away for another night she said she's glad for you and Blaine and that Kurt will get over it because nothing is as bad that the world's going to end."

"She did? Are you sure she didn't say she hates me now?"

"No, Sam, she didn't say that."

"And she really used the word 'glad'?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't she?"

"Because… well…" Sam looked at Blaine and mysteriously had to think of Mrs Anderson.

"But how did she know?" Blaine asked.

Sam waved it aside. "I told her that I like you a few weeks ago already. No biggie."

" _ _No__   _ _biggie__? Sam, why where you afraid she could find out when she knew already?"

"I… it's not as illogical as it sounds, okay?! I mean she knew that I, you know, liked you but not that we were together. And Kurt was hurting, and wouldn't any mother support her son and…" Sam bit his lip, thinking of Mrs Anderson again. This time Blaine seemed to be, too. He lowered his eyes to his plate and cleared his throat.

"See, everything is good", Rachel said. "You'll stay with the Hummel-Hudson's… although I'm sure my Dads would've liked to have a son…?"

"Nope", Sam answered her questioning look.

"There's just one thing me and Mum couldn't figure out", Finn said. He looked at Blaine and then Sam.

"Why didn't you just go to the Anderson's?"

Sam folded his napkin and wouldn't answer that. But he didn't have to because Blaine spoke.

"It's my mother. She's more on Kurt's side than Carol. She thinks Sam is…"

He paused.

"Unworthy", Sam whispered. "Unworthy of her son. Too straight and too dumb."

"No, that's not it, Sam, come on. She needs time to adjust. She thinks I want to make experiences but soon she'll realise I really love you and accept it."

Sam still looked at his fingers that clenched around the napkin. He knew they were talking about something different but the echo of ' _ _I really love you'__  was ringing in his ears. He had watched out to not say the l-word all the time but Blaine did as if it was a normal thing and it made Sam's heart beat faster.

"I'm sure she will", Rachel said. Her hand appeared in Sam's view and closed warmly around his left one, squeezing it.

"And in the meantime you have the Hummel-Hudson's to go to. Isn't that great, Sam?"

"What does that even mean, too straight?" Finn asked. Finally Sam looked up.

"I'm not sure but she always talks about how I'll soon get a nice and easy girlfriend."

Finn frowned. "Is there something like heterophobia because that sure sounds like it."

Blaine laughed awkwardly. "Don't be ridiculous."

"What's your Dad thinking about Sam?"

"He doesn't let on much but I think he likes him. He made it possible for me to go to Kentucky and yesterday he even asked why Sam hadn't been over for some time. I don't think he's ever asked – well, anything about my friends. I'm not even sure if he knows that I was with Kurt for a long time. He's very busy."

"Does your brother like Sam?" Rachel said. She took back her hand and started gathering the empty plates.

"Cooper likes everybody unless they say they don't like commercials", Blaine said.

"All I'm saying is that most parts of your family like Sam so it's not beyond all hope. That's all I'm saying." She got up and brought the plates to the dish washer.

"Too straight." Finn shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "That's a good one. Can I tell Puck about it? He'll think it's hilarious. "

"How is Puck?" Blaine asked.

"Good. You will see him tonight at the party, actually, because that's something he thinks is important enough to come to Lima for. Never mind Hanukkah or meeting his family." Finn rolled his eyes.

Sam breathed in relieve. Nobody seemed to agree with Mrs Anderson, good. And the last time he had seen her he only had listened to her because he'd been in a bad state of mind already. Maybe next time he'd just ignore her. Yeah.

* * *

 

Only when Marley and Ryder came to the party – one hour after the first guests had arrived – did Blaine think of Jake. He was pretty sure Rachel wouldn't mind another guest and quickly send him the address. Then he went back thinking about the one thing he couldn't get out of his mind.

So they were going to tell Kurt tonight. When exactly? How would he react? It was really good that he departed tomorrow so Sam didn't have to face him alone. And Kurt would finally realise Blaine hadn't made up anything and that this was serious indeed, and that he needed to lie off from his stalking trip.

The dragon of marigold flowers Sam and Finn had made stood in the living room next to the buffet table. Finn had let Sam take all the credit for it to explain his long stay here even though that wasn't really necessary anymore. But it was a nice gesture nonetheless. Blaine was glad Finn had reacted so great after his initial anger. True, he had changed his mind because of Rachel but Blaine took what he could get.

Anyway, now Sam was the attraction of the evening. Everybody congratulated him for the statue. Some of Rachel's girlfriends flirted with him. That was the downside of success. Blaine very inconspicuously walked to him and let their arms touch, and Sam turned away from whoever he was talking to and beamed at Blaine.

"I like your punch!" Sam said and he filled up his cup. "It cured me from my cold."

"Sure? Your nose still looks a bit red."

Blaine suspiciously eyed the strawberries – he didn't want to know where they came from at this time of the year – and took a cold chicken cutlet from a plate. The best thing about New Year's Eve was all the food.

"That's from the alcohol" Sam claimed.

"Hey!" Marley and Ryder came to them, hand in hand.

"Are you now dating?" Sam asked.

Marley shrugged. "A bit."

"A bit? How can –"

"Okay, okay! We are! Happy now?"

"Yes." Sam grinned. "Now only Rachel and Finn have to get back together and everyone has their happy ending."

"Except Kurt", Blaine said.

"Right." Sam drank from his cup.

"So… What's your New Year's resolutions?" Ryder asked while he put a butt load of croquettes, cutlets, pasta and strawberries on his plate.

"To listen to my heart", Blaine said. He had spent so much time chasing after Kurt that he had totally ignored what he had really wanted. That wouldn't happen again.

"I… huh. I had some but I forgot", Sam said.

Ryder laughed. "Good start, man! Well, you still have three hours to think about it."

"I know one", Sam said as their friends had vanished into the crowd. He ducked his head and whispered: "To kiss you at least a million times a month."

Blaine laughed. "Wow, that's a lot! You'd be doing nothing else if you want to reach this goal."

"Exactly." Sam waggled his eyebrows. Blaine held his eyes, butterflies leaking out of his stomach, and instinctively leaned closer. Sam grasped his arm and took him a few steps away from the buffet to the fireplace. There he leaned to Blaine's ear.

"And I will find a way to kiss you at midnight, no way I'm going to let this slip." His hot breath made Blaine shiver. Okay. They had to separate now before he'd forget all about discretion.

"There's the man of the hour!"

Suddenly Puck was there. He drew Sam back and threw his arm around Sam's neck.

"The girls are going crazy about you! They fight about who gets to kiss you at midnight. Have you laid your eyes on someone special or do they have to fight really hard? I'd suggest a striptease competition! Whoooa!" Puck raised one fist into the air.

"No, man!" Sam freed himself aggressively. "I'm not single, I won't do any of that shit."

"You – what? You are not…? What? Who's your girl then?"

"Why, don't you believe me?"

Puck looked stunned for a moment. Then he broke into a grin.

"No. I believe you want to chicken out of kissing a hot, drunk girl. As silly as that sounds. No way, you owe me, Evans, you owe me."

"I owe you a kiss with a girl?"

"Yes! No excuses tonight. Oh, and drink more – a whole lot more, okay?" He clacked his tongue and was gone in the blink of an eye.

"Jerk", Sam mumbled.

"He's not going to give up that easily."

"Don't be afraid. If everything else fails we just go up and lock ourselves in my room."

Blaine nodded. Sounded like a plan. A very good plan.

* * *

 

Blaine sat on the couch and talked with Artie when Kurt eventually arrived. Blaine tensed and looked out for Sam but he wasn't to be seen. Finn was, though. Blaine excused himself and went to him.

"He's here. But I don't know… when… how…"

"Calm down, man!" Finn laid a hand on Blaine's shoulder and turned his head. "Let's be smooth about this. Let him have a drink or two before you tell him."

Blaine took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah. Good idea. Have you seen Sam?"

"He's probably bragging about the dragon", Finn said.

"It was very nice of you to –"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't really much work anyway. I'm more concerned about Rachel. Do __you__  know if she still… you know… likes me? You have spent all day in the kitchen with her, did she say something?"

"Uhm… not really. We were mostly talking about groceries and stuff."

Finn nodded. He looked pretty thoughtful and didn't talk anymore so Blaine turned away. He aimlessly walked around until he saw Sam sitting on the kitchen table, a glass of punch in one hand and a chicken leg in the other. He sat there with three girls who all laughed at an impression he made. As cute and innocent as it was, Blaine didn't like it. He placed himself behind Sam and laid his hands on his shoulders, making him look up.

"Oh, hey, Blaine! I really like your punch, did I tell you?"

"Yes, you did. Maybe you should stop drinking for an hour or two?"

"My nose isn't red because of the alcohol. I'm still sick."

"Uhu." Blaine lifted his eyebrows. The girls got up and strolled away so he sat down at Sam's left side and squeezed his knee.

"Kurt's here."

Sam tore open his eyes and looked around.

"Not __here__  here", Blaine said. "In the living room."

"Okay! I'm not chickening out, you know. Let's go!" Sam put the things in his hands on the table, jumped up and ran out of the kitchen. Blaine hurried to keep up with him and caught him in the hallway. Mostly because Sam leaned against the wall and stared at the door to the basement.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked, laying his hand on Sam's upper arm.

"No. He will hate me. He will throw stuff at me and kill my dragon."

"It's also Finn's –"

"Then he will jump at me and turn me into a vampire."

"Look, Sam. I'm pretty sure he will at least not do the latter."

"Can't we just…"

"What?" Blaine frowned. "Remember if he knows we'll be able to kiss in public."

"Oh. I want that", Sam said, gazing at Blaine's lips. He snapped out of it, looked around and added: "Since we're alone here, can I get a taste of what it will be like?"

"No, Sam, you know our luck. Kurt would probably come out and see us."

Sam shook his head. "Now that you said it he won't."

"That's not how it works."

"Yes, it is." Sam pushed himself away from the wall and was close to Blaine before Blaine could even blink. His hands embraced Blaine's sides and turned him around. With his back against the wall now Blaine watched his boyfriend's pretty face. He didn't often take control like that but when he did it was __hot__. Blaine wallowed in the moment for a second, wandered over Sam's arms up to his neck and didn't protest when Sam moved in closer.

Their warm breathes mixed.

"See, still alone", Sam whispered.

"Let's discuss how we are going to tell him."

"Yeah. In a minute."

Sam pecked at Blaine's lips. The short touch made Blaine shiver. The fact that the noises from the party were in the background was exciting, too, so when Sam kissed him again he closed his eyes and savoured the moment.

"Whoa, get a room!"

Sam jerked back, and Blaine wiped over his mouth. Ryder came out the living room, shook his head and went to the kitchen.

Sam drove a hand through his hair and laughed.

"Oh my – oh God!"

"Told you so", Blaine muttered.

"Come on. Let's get it over with", Sam said. He stepped into the living room. Blaine followed him and immediately spotted Kurt on the couch, chatting with Artie. Blaine's pulse sped up. Now was the moment of truth. How'd they do it? Ask him to come to Sam's room for some privacy, obviously, but then…?

"Kurt, there you are!" Sam said when they stood in front of the couch.

Kurt, who sat casually on the couch, one arm on the rest and a glass of punch in the other, looked up in confusion. Blaine took a deep breath and –

"So, here's the thing." Sam put his hands together and pointed with them at Kurt. "It's me. I'm the other one, I stole Blaine from you. If you want to punch me, go on." He closed his eyes as if anticipating a slap. Kurt frowned and looked questioningly at Blaine.

"What he wants to says is: Do you have a minute? We'd like to talk to you", Blaine said.

"About what?"

Sam opened his eyes. "I just told you!"

Blaine laid a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Calm down, Sam." He turned to Kurt and said: "You'll find out soon enough. Let's go to Sam's room."

"Sam's room? Sam's got a room? Does he live here now, or what?"

"You wish!"

"Sam, let me to the talking, okay?"

Sam sighed and nodded.

 

* * *

 

__Coming up__ : The grand finale!


	17. The truth hurts

 

Chapter 17: The truth hurts

 

In Sam's room Kurt placed himself in the middle, arms crossed and eyes expectant. Sam really didn't know why he pretended like he hadn't heard him before, what was the sense of that?

"Kurt", Blaine said, way too nicely. "You said you want to know who I am dating if he feels ready to come out."

"Yes?" Kurt lifted an eyebrow. He looked from Blaine to Sam, who held his eyes, silently saying 'Dude, I told you two minutes ago' and Kurt looked back at Blaine.

"Who is it, then? Is he here?" Kurt pointed to the ground.

"Yes, Kurt. He is", Blaine said. He looked at Sam, and Kurt did, too. But he shook his head.

"What am I missing?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Blaine, your subtle ways aren't working. Look at him, he's ignorant because he knows you love me way more than him."

Oh wow, how easy it was to say stuff like that even though Sam still didn't believe it. Yes, he knew Blaine wouldn't go back to Kurt but comparing who he loved more… uh, don't go there now, Evans.

"Wait, that wasn't – a joke?" Kurt uncrossed his arms and frowned.

"No", Blaine quietly said. "It took me by surprise as well but Sam… is bi and we…" He shrugged.

"Hit it off, baby!" Sam hit Blaine's shoulder too hard. His heart was beating faster and faster, soon would come the moment Kurt would punch him. And Sam was ready for it.

But Kurt laughed. Then he disbelievingly pointed from one to the other.

"You two? If this really isn't a joke then… Well, guess then I still have some hope left, don't I? You make a poor couple. No, you don't make a couple at all. Your best friends, how __awkward__  would it be if you actually tried sleeping together? Wow." Kurt laughed again. "I don't know what made you leave me for him, Blaine, but I tell you – it's not love. If you excuse me now…"

Kurt shook his head and pushed between them to get out. Sam's leg felt like frozen, he tried to move but it didn't work. An imaginary clock ticked in his head like a bomb. Then suddenly he was in the hallway and kept Kurt from walking away by putting a hand on his shoulder. Kurt turned around eyes rolling.

"What is it, another funny story about –"

He couldn't speak on because Sam's fist landed on his nose. The moment he hit him Sam regretted it. His hand hurt and Kurt stumbled back. Sam shouldn't have done it or think that if the pain in his hand was the price he had to pay for punching Kurt he was more than glad to have a hurting hand right now but… he did.

"Oh my God!" Blaine uttered.

"Oouh… you __ass__!" Kurt exclaimed, both hands on his face. He glared at Sam.

"Me? You just laughed right in my face, telling me my boyfriend doesn't love me. That he and me are a __joke__. A bleeding nose is nothing against how that feels in my heart", Sam said.

"Oh yeah? What am I supposed to say, then? He was my __fianc__ _ _é__  and then you came along and tore apart the happiest couple that ever lived! And what for, to satisfy your bi-curiosity? You couldn't have moved in on any other guy, no?"

"Happiest couple ever? Is that why you never texted or called Blaine, or listened to him when you actually spoke to each other?"

Kurt made a hissing noise and Sam thought he'd be going at him. But then Kurt cast out "This isn't over" and turned around to hurry down the stairs.

All angry energy left Sam at once. It was like an invisible Kurt pushed him back a few steps. But then a warm hand lay between his shoulder blades and the touch made him come back to reality. Unfortunately that also meant feeling his throbbing right hand.

"Shhhhhhhhhhit", Sam cursed. He clinched his wrist.

"I get you some ice", Blaine said. "Come, sit down. I'll be right back."

Sam couldn't help but whimper as he went to his bed. He had barely sat down when Blaine left the room. Sam didn't have very much time to think about whether this act of violence made Blaine pity Kurt and now they would make up. Well, okay, he had time but he didn't want to think about it and his hand was a pretty good distraction.

Literally just one minute later Blaine came back, panting heavily and pressing a cooling unit against Sam's hand.

"Oh God, I feel so bad", Blaine said.

"Why?" Sam took the icy thing in his own hand but Blaine didn't move his away. Instead he enclosed his fingers around Sam's.

"I should've known Kurt wouldn't react well and asked Finn or Rachel to be present", Blaine said. "I'm so sorry!"

With his other hand he carefully stroked some messy strands out of Sam's face and let his fingertips glide over his ear. Sam relaxed under that touch. He inhaled deeply and wetted his lips.

"I'm sorry, too", he said.

"No, Sam, no. He deserved it. He shouldn't have… and you…" Blaine turned Sam's face on his chin towards him.

"You fought for me", he whispered.

"Did I win?"

Blaine watched his face for a few moments before he whispered "Yes. You did" and softly pressed his Christmas tasting lips against Sam's. Okay, so he apparently didn't feel sorry for Kurt. Good, Sam could life with that. Truth was he didn't really feel sorry, too. Well, he did because he didn't want to hurt people but Kurt had __laughed__  about them.

"Blaine? I know I've often said we're like brothers but promise me that sometime in the future we're going to have sex?"

Blaine chuckled. He squeezed Sam's hand he was holding and nodded.

"And it's not going to be awkward and make us break up?" Sam asked.

"It's going to be great, Sam. A bodily expression of the union of our souls."

"Okaaaay, I asked for sex not the Kama Sutra."

A knock came from the open door.

"Uhem. Am I interrupting something…?"

They both jerked around to where Finn was standing. He looked empathetic at Sam's hand as he came in.

"Rachel's dealing with Kurt, or rather his nose. Man… you punched him? Was that necessary?"

"Yes, it was!"

Blaine got up. "You should have heard what he had said, Finn, it was humiliating. He basically disregarded everything Sam – everything we have fought for."

"Oh." Finn sighed. "Yeah, he wasn't exactly nice now, too."

"Yeah, that's life", Sam said. "A few years ago I took a punch for Kurt, now I'm punching him."

Blaine turned to him and frowned. "What?"

"It's a long story", Sam said. "Except that it isn't. Somebody said something mean about Kurt and I got in a fight with them."

"Wow. That __is__ a twist of fate", Blaine said. He said down again and stroked over Sam's back. "You're clearly hero material."

Sam snorted. "No, I'm not. I just acted out my pent-up aggressions."

"Well, better than swallowing them."

"Yeah, maybe." Sam looked at Finn. "Is the party ruined now?"

"No. Why would be party be ruined because Kurt is in a bad mood? Come on. The dragon still stands and girls are looking for you. They are going to love to hear the story."

Finn frowned. "Uhm, maybe except that you did it for another guy."

"Are you kidding? That's the best part of it."

Sam grinned at Blaine and got a kiss in return. This time Sam didn't watch out for Finn. He closed his eyes and savoured the moment and when it was over, yeah, okay, maybe he checked Finn's reaction but the brunette boy was already on his way to the door.

"I'm glad you didn't let it get to you", Blaine expressed. "What Kurt said about us. And me and him. I mean, yeah, you reacted to it but mentally you are okay, right? Because we don't make a poor couple, we make the best couple ever. I bet he can see it and is jealous."

"Mhm. Yeah, I totally didn't listen to him." Sam nodded.

Blaine patted his hand. "Did you?"

"No, totally not. I know you love me. Totally."

"Stop saying 'totally' when you're lying", Blaine said. "You're giving yourself away."

Sam bit his lip and anxiously looked at his boyfriend. "It's not like I don't believe you. But it's also not like the doubts are completely gone. I don't want to think about it but sometimes I do."

Blaine nodded. "That's normal. And okay. As long as you don't break up with me again because of it."

"Oh, you're going to charge me forever for that, aren't you?"

Blaine laughed and laid his forehead on Sam's shoulder. Sam let his hand go in order to put his arm around Blaine. The cooling unit slipped but he didn't care.

"Let's dress your wrist and go back downstairs, shall we?" Blaine eventually asked.

Couldn't they stay all night up here? No, probably not, yeah… So Sam agreed.

* * *

 

"And then I punched him and he flew like ten feet away and hit the wall, leaving an outline of his body on it before he fell down unconsciously", Sam told a girl who looked with big brown eyes at him and constantly nodded. He liked it when people adored his deeds. And he hadn't even exaggerated the situation. Well, a little, but who wouldn't do that?

"Whoaaaaaa. You're so strong!" another girl said.

Sam nodded. "I totally am. I did it for my boyfriend, I'd do anything for him."

"Would you, like, lift a car for him?"

"Or course. Duh."

"And sink a ship?"

"Dude, the Titanic would be forgotten after I sank a ship for Blaine. The Blamanic. Huh, but better not sink __that__  ship, right?" Sam winked.

"Sam? Can you postpone sinking ships for me and help me in the kitchen?" Blaine asked as he passed them, carrying a tray.

"Yes!" Sam shouted. To the girls he said somewhat quieter: "That's a code for making out" and then followed Blaine to the kitchen.

"Why are you doing that, it's Rachel's party", Sam commented Blaine's work when he came into the kitchen.

"Rachel is busy comforting Kurt."

"Oh, I see. Someone feels guilty."

Blaine rolled his eyes and got apple-juice out of the fridge. Sam helped him mix some punch, well, as much as he could do with one hand. Then Blaine left without a kiss. Sam pouted but since Blaine was gone he didn't see it.

When Sam entered the living room again Kurt stood in front of him. Sam held up his hands and waited for a hit. And then it happened.

"I'm sorry."

"Excuse me?"

Kurt angrily stared at Sam and didn't look like he was sorry. A few steps behind him Rachel stood and gestured Kurt to go on as he threw a glance at her.

"I'm sorry I ridiculed you, I had no right to say that." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, that's right, you didn't!" Sam crossed his arms. Was he supposed to say he was sorry for the fight now? Because he still wasn't.

"We can just wait and see who wins in the end", Kurt said.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "So you don't want to compete in public or something like that?"

"No, because I'm an adult."

Sam nodded and was clever enough not to disagree. Blaine stepped beside Rachel and watched them, too.

"So?" Kurt said. When Sam just looked at him he added: "Don't you want to say something to me, too?"

Sam was about to say 'Not really' when his eyes fell on Blaine, who subtly nodded. So Sam sighed and bit his lip.

"Yeah. Guess I'm sorry, too."

"You guess or you are?"

"I am", Sam mumbled. It was enough for Kurt, who snorted, uttered "I need a drink" and went to the buffet. Rachel lifted both of her thumbs to Sam and then followed Blaine's ex. Blaine on the other hand smiled and came to Sam.

"I'm so proud of you. You jumped over your shadow, not everybody can do that."

"Yeah", Sam said.

Blaine frowned. "What, no answer telling me how you obviously are the greatest man that ever lived?"

Sam shrugged. "I lied. I'm not really sorry."

"That's what 'jumping over your shadow' means, Sam. Taking back your own opinion and behaving for the benefit of peace."

"So… lying?"

Blaine chuckled, took his healthy hand and dragged Sam to the couch. They sat down and even though most people knew now and Sam had bragged to Rachel's girlfriends about his boyfriend it felt strange and vulnerable when he put his arm around Blaine's shoulders and Blaine snuggled up to his chest.

Apparently, the news hadn't reached everybody. Puck let himself fall down beside them, rubbing his hands.

"Sam, I'm down to three. If you want to have any say in it you should tell me right now who'd you prefer to kiss at midnight." He gestured to chatting girls who stood in front of the fireplace.

Both Sam and Blaine looked disbelievingly at him but Puck only grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

"Puck, I told you. I'm in a relationship, I won't kiss any of those girls."

"Uhuuuuu. What she doesn't know won't kill her, right? It's New Year's Eve, man! You can't go without a kiss at midnight."

"I know. And I'm so glad we cleared that up." Sam smiled at Blaine who returned it.

"Cleared what up?" Puck asked.

Sam rolled his eyes. He knew Puck would find out sooner or later so he could just say it now. But Puck was like Finn, he'd be very astonished to find out Sam's bi and maybe he wouldn't be on board as fast as Finn because no girl lured him there…?

"Hey, what happened?" Puck nodded to Sam's right hand that lay on Blaine's shoulder. Assuming he was asking about the bandage not the position Sam said: "Oh, that. I punched Kurt."

"You did __what__?" Puck snorted and looked around for Kurt. "Are you drunk, Evans?"

"I've never been more in my right mind", Sam said. "Although, don't tell him I said that, that would redeem my apology."

"Oh, Sam." Blaine chuckled. He playfully tapped against Sam's chest and let his head rest on his shoulder. "I will never forget this night."

Puck grinned. "Ah, at least someone's drunk. Sam, you have to drink more, okay? Here."

He offered Sam his own cup. Sam took it although he wouldn't drink from it, knowing that Puck tended to spike even alcoholic punch. He thanked Puck and put the cup on the table.

"You're my hero", Blaine whispered so that only Sam could hear it. It made him smile and press a kiss on Blaine's forehead.

"So beating people up is what you get off on?" Sam asked.

"Not the beating part. But you standing up to Kurt and… well." Blaine shrugged and leaned to Sam's ear. "Defending what we have. So sexy." Blaine let his hand wander over Sam's chest, and it made Sam shiver. He gulped and willed down his body temperature.

"Has anybody ever told you two that you are really gay? Sam, if you want to kiss a girl later you better –"

"Damn it, Puck", Sam hissed, while Blaine leaned back and frowned at said boy.

"I don't want to kiss anybody else but Blaine."

"Okaaay, yeah, right." Puck rolled his eyes. "And I'm kissing Finn."

"Excuse me?" Finn stood behind the couch and they turned around.

"Dude, relax", Puck said. "I was kidding."

"That's nothing to kid about. If I don't get Rachel tonight I will never ever get her. But, uhm… Sam? Can you come to the kitchen?"

"Why?"

"Just… Kurt and… you'll see."

"What's going on with Kurt tonight?" Puck asked. "Blaine, why don't you talk to him?"

While Sam got up Blaine – again – frowned deeply at Puck. "We broke up. And that is also what is going on with him. Well, that and the fact that I already have a new boyfriend."

"What? No way! What? But you and Kurt… you were __the__  dream pair…"

"Were, alright, past tense", Sam said. Finn had already left the room but he figured he could stay a few more moments until realisation would strike Puck.

Turned out it wasn't that easy.

"Wow. I need a drink to digest that", Puck said. He got up and strolled to the buffet, winking at some girls on his way there.

"Oh my God, he will never get it", Sam said.

"By midnight he will", Blaine smiled. He got up, too, and nodded to the door. "I can come with you, right?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Come on." Sam held out his left hand and felt especially proud when Blaine took it.

Kurt was raging through the kitchen. Finn lingered at the door while Rachel tried to talk to Kurt. For a moment Sam wondered what this was about now, because he had apologized, hadn't he? Then he realised Kurt was angry at Rachel.

"Please, Kurt, it wasn't like that! I found out per accident and wanted to know everything and –"

"You could have told me instead of lying to me like everybody else! Did __you__  know?" Kurt stared at Finn, who quickly shook his head.

"I'm not the type of person who outs someone when they are not ready to!" Rachel said. "And the poor boy was under enough stress already, living in the same house as you and having to deal with Mrs Anderson and everything!"

Kurt stopped in his pacing and lifted his eyebrows.

"What about Mrs Anderson?"

Rachel put a hand in front of her mouth and turned to Finn. Then she saw Sam and Blaine had arrived and put her hand down.

"Sam! Tell him I was just being a good friend to everyone!"

"She was", Sam said. He carefully took a few steps into the kitchen. "And it's not like it would've changed anything if you had known a few days earlier, Kurt. Can't we just celebrate tonight and be angry tomorrow?"

Kurt glared at him, then Rachel. Eventually he shook his head and pulled out his phone.

"I'm not in the mood to celebrate anymore. I'm calling Dad to pick me up."

He left the room. Rachel turned to Finn.

"Go and tell him right now you knew since yesterday."

"He never has to –"

"Oh, no, it's not working like that, it never works like that. He will know."

Finn mumbled but left the kitchen, too. Rachel sank down on a chair, hands on her face.

"I get you a drink!" Blaine said. He hurried to the living room. Sam, who had never really been good in comforting girls, thought about sneaking out and later saying he had to go to the bathroom really urgently. But the next moment Rachel looked up and sighed.

"Should I have told him?"

"No, man, no! You did everything right", Sam assured her.

"It was just a few days, Sam! And I talked to you so you would talk to him. That's so much better than telling him on my own terms and making things worse, right?"

"Yeah! That was so… you know, equal and everything of you."

Sam sat down opposite to her just when Blaine put a cup in front of Rachel.

"The word you're looking for is diplomatic", Blaine said as he sat down next to Sam. "And yes, it was. You can be proud of yourself, Rachel."

She shrugged and drank a few gulps.

"You better distract yourself now", Sam said. "For example you could make out with Finn?"

Blaine nudged Sam's elbow but Rachel frowned.

"No, that's not a good idea."

"Why not!? I'm sure he would like it."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "That's just why it's not a good idea. My life is in New York, his isn’t. No…"

She shook her head, drank more and got up, while Sam desperately tried to find charming words in favour of Finn. But his brain was empty and before he knew it Rachel had left the room.

Sam sighed. Yeah, it wasn't his business but why couldn't everybody just get a happy ending?

Well, except Kurt.

"Let's go back to the party. Midnight isn't far away", Blaine said.

Now, Sam liked the sound of that. At least he and Blaine would get their happy ending! Not that he __ever__  doubted that. There had been… obstacles, yes, but no real problems for Sam.

They met Finn in the hallway. He came through the front door, closed it and sighed as heavily as if the world was about to end. Actually, even heavier because a few years ago when the world had been about to end due to the Mayan apocalypse he hadn't sighed that deeply.

"He knows now but I don't think he cares anymore who he's angry at", Finn explained.

"You'll get through it. Hey, you can blame it all on Sam and me", Blaine said. "So at least __your__  relationship with Kurt won't be damaged."

"Believe me, I will."

"Thanks for not telling him as soon as you knew", Sam said. "You're a real bro, bro."

They went to the living room. The last half an hour until midnight went over like nothing. Sam almost missed it because a girl asked him if he could do a dragon sculpture for her birthday as week later as well and Sam asked for details. Man, he could make money with that! So what if Finn would be gone, it couldn't be that hard on his own, right?

Only when Puck jumped to them did Sam realise how late it was.

"So this is the one you chose, Evans?" Puck asked. Sam watched his clock. Ten to twelve!

"Oh! I need to find Blaine", he said.

"Yeah, right, you can't fool me, my friend", Puck said.

"I don't plan to."

Sam left them, ignoring Pucks calls. It wasn't hard to find Blaine since he hadn't moved from the couch where he was chatting with Jake – wait since when was Jake here?

Sam sat next to Blaine and looked at the Jew. Hadn't there been something about an unjust text or something…? Better apologize to clean his consciousness before the New Year would begin.

"Hey, man", he addressed Jake. "I'm sorry. You know, about that text. I was under more stress than I've ever been in school and that's saying something."

Blaine proudly stroked over Sam's arm and Jake nodded, lifting his cup.

"If you drink with me on the New Year I'll let this one slip."

Sam quickly fetched two cups of punch and when he came back to the couch and gave Blaine one he said to Jake: "By the way, don't get a heart attack in five minutes when I kiss Blaine."

Jake's frowned. "What?"

"I think what Sam meant to say is… We're the new dream pair in town", Blaine said.

"And I ask again… What?"

Sam drank three long gulps and put the cup on the table.

"Look, man. I'm bi. While you thought I was dating Marley I just conspired with her to write love letters to Blaine and well… they were perfect and adorable and made Blaine fall in love with me. End of story."

"No, not end of story! How come… But you fought with Ryder about Marley!"

" _ _He__  fought __me__  before he knew what it was about."

Sam pointed to Ryder and Marley in a corner, who made out a few minutes too early. Sam would've protested and told them to wait but he couldn't risk missing the moment.

Blaine patted Jake's shoulder while he battled with confusion and then emptied his cup. Sam took it as a sign that he was okay with it and grinningly rubbed his hands.

"Two minutes!" Puck screamed. Rachel hurried through the room and switched on the TV for the countdown. Finn sat down on Sam's other site, sighing again.

"It's just not my day today", he said.

"Why? But wait, if it's a long story tell me after midnight", Sam said. "I'm busy right now."

"Rachel just told me to forget it."

"Oh." Sam patted Finn's shoulder. Now, he didn't want to seem like he didn't care but the fact was that the clock hadn't stopped moving.

"I'm sorry, man. But if you're looking for comfort kisses you should really ask Puck, I'm not single."

Instead of a snappy answer Finn just sighed again so Sam figured he was really down.

"Evans! Come on!"

"Oh my God, Puck, let it go!"

Sam didn't even turn around to look where Puck was standing. He took Blaine's hand, dragged him up and walked a few steps until they were standing next to Rachel who stared at the TV screen and loudly counted down the time even if it still was seventy seconds.

"This year will be the best ever", Sam grinned.

"Oh, I'm sure." Blaine returned the smile and faced Sam. He put his hands around his waist and Sam laid his arms on Blaine's shoulders.

"I can't believe this. Here we are, among our friends, and we can totally kiss", he said.

Blaine chuckled. "Although I think Puck might pass out from the sight."

"Oh, he deserves it." Sam looked over his shoulder to see Puck talking wildly to Jake. Jake drank on, his eyes fixated on the TV and ignored his brother, who probably wanted him to go kiss a girl.

Sam turned back to Blaine. He just loved to dive into his beautiful eyes; they were the best eyes in the whole galaxy. And knowing Blaine wanted him, would stay with him even after Sam had punched Kurt, that was… wow. Great. More than great.

"I know it's too soon and we haven't talked about it but it's also the New Year so I might as well say it and tomorrow blame the alcohol", Sam said. He leaned to Blaine's ear. "I love you."

Blaine moved closer still and Sam leaned back only enough to find Blaine's eyes.

"As long as this isn't a proposal it's okay." Blaine smiled.

"Why, would you say yes?"

"Let's not go there, Sam. I'm not ready to marry for at least five years."

"So New Year's Eve 2018, I mark the date."

Blaine slightly nudged Sam's side but he didn't seem too declined. He was thinking Sam was joking but he wasn't. Tomorrow he'd write it down somewhere and if they were still together in five years and loved each other, why shouldn't he ask? They would be twenty-three then, what better age for marriage was there? Oh! He could write fake-anonymous love letters (because Blaine would know it was from him) to lure him somewhere – the pavilion! – and then propose there. Yes, perfect!

The countdown started. Sam counted with everybody else and as soon as the New Year began his and Blaine's lips met. After a few moments Sam thought how they had kissed since the beginning of the year. It was a great thought and he had to smile but when Blaine wanted to pull back because of that he didn't let him.

"I want to kiss you all year long", he said against Blaine's lips. That made the other boy smile, too.

People were screaming around them, and somebody hugged them.

"Happy New Year!"

Well, okay then. They separated and wished Rachel and all of their friends a Happy New Year. Puck looked smitten, though, and Sam laughed about it.

"You should've believed me, man!"

"I – I – but you aren't __gay__!"

"Get over it", Finn said eyes rolling. "Nowadays everybody can turn gay. Well, except me. Although, if I think about it, maybe that would be a good idea. Girls are too unpredictable and not worth it, anyway."

"You'll find someone, too", Sam assured him. They all went outside to watch the fireworks. Puck had brought some, of course, and was gracious enough the let Sam fire some.

Normally that was the part of the evening Sam had always looked forward to the most. But tonight he mysteriously had enough after firing two rackets and went back to Blaine.

"Already done?" Blaine asked.

"What can I say, I'm too mature for that."

"Uhu. You just want more kisses."

"And? Do I get'em?"

Blaine shrugged and pretended to think about it. But Sam knew he liked it, too. He placed some pecks on Blaine's cheek and it didn't take long until the black haired met his lips. Ah, yes. Life wasn't bad. It wasn't bad at all.

 

* * *

 

January 1st

* * *

 The house was shaken by an earth quake and Sam ran around screaming. In the next minute he was lying in his bed though, and the person screaming wasn't him, but Rachel, and she actually pulled Sam's leg from where she was standing in front of his bed.

"What, woman!?"

"Oh, is that how you treat someone who let you stay in their house for a few nights?"

"Okaaay. What, my dear friend?" Sam pulled back his legs, yawned and was about to get up when he saw the clock. Six o'clock in the morning! No wonder he hadn't wanted to wake up!

"Are you crazy!?"

"Finn will be here in half an hour to take me and Kurt to the airport. Very nice of him after I refused his advances! Anyway, you either walk to the Hummel-Hudson's now or you come with us and drive back with Finn then. Which option do you chose?"

"How about you give me the keys to this house and I'll wait until Finn comes back from the airport to get me."

"Ha, ha, very funny. Now get up. You can be grateful I didn't wake you up for the house cleaning."

She left the room and Sam mumbled "Why would you after I had to do it yesterday already? One handed even" but he got up.

Twenty minutes later he was ready – more or less. He hadn't showered or even combed his hair for that matter, just put on some clothes, stuffed his things into his bag and took off the bedclothes. Rachel sent him to the bathroom to do something with his hair and three minutes later he was allowed drink coffee. When the doorbell rang he hadn't waken up at all so he almost wasn't afraid at the thought of being in the car with Kurt.

* * *

 

Not that Sam was glad that Finn and Rachel weren't back together but at least it meant that Rachel didn't insist on sitting on the passenger seat. Sam could do without sharing the back seat with Kurt. Still, the atmosphere in the car wasn't the best. Rachel talked, yes, but Sam got the feeling that he wasn't the only one who just pretended to listen. She stopped talking after twenty minutes and that was when things got really spooky.

Sam couldn't take the silence.

"So… your band has a gig on Friday? And how's Santana doing?"

Kurt threw him a glance over his shoulder. "Why is Sam here, again?"

Rachel leaned forward and hit his shoulder. "Be nice! Remember, you made up last night!"

"Doesn't mean I'm not pissed at him anymore for stealing my boyfriend! Or at you for hiding them."

"I just knew it for one day and kept my mouth shut because I wanted to be on Rachel's good side", Finn said. Kurt patted his shoulder.

"I know. And I forgive you because I don't want to be angry with everyone in the car. Plus you're driving me to the airport."

Finn grinned. Well, good for him. Sam turned his head and stared out of the window, waiting for the sun to rise. He was up when it was still dark outside on the first of January after having gone to bed at two am!? He had to be crazy.

"Look at it that way. Now you're free to hook up with Elliot. You can't tell me that thought never crossed your mind", Rachel said.

Kurt snorted. "Thoughts crossing my mind don't mean I love him, Rachel. I'm not over Blaine and I never will be."

"Oh, come on!" Sam said. "You never even took time out of your day to talk to him."

"Because I'm not good at that whole long-distance thing!" Kurt said in a high pitched voice. "Would I have come to celebrate Christmas if I didn't care for him?"

Sam sighed and bit his lip. He refused to feel guilty. Kurt had had his chance, more than one actually. Sam might have put the moves on Blaine but Blaine leaving Kurt wasn't exactly his doing. And Blaine had said he would've left Kurt anyway. But Sam kept his mouth shut and thought about how he would fall into bed as soon as he was back at the Hummel-Hudson's. And yes, he also refused to think about how he had to tell them officially that he was together with their son's ex-boyfriend now.

* * *

 

When Carol opened the door she immediately pulled Blaine in a 'Happy New Year' hug before he could even give her the pralines he had brought. All of Sam's talk about how he was afraid the Hummel-Hudson's wouldn't approve of them had made Blaine wonder. Not really believe it but slightly wonder how they actually would react when they officially knew.

"Thanks, Blaine! That really wouldn't have been necessary!" Carol said when he gave her the chocolate.

"I wanted to", Blaine said. He took off his winter clothing and turned around just in time to see Sam coming down the stairs. Blaine smiled at him but Sam looked at Carol.

"Carol! We need to tell you something."

"Now, let Blaine arrive first, will you? Do you want hot cacao? I'll make some." She went to the kitchen.

"And Burt, too!" Sam called after her. He came down the last steps and stood in front of Blaine. "We need to tell them."

"Yeah, I figured you are talking about us."

Sam nodded. Blaine approached him but his kiss landed on Sam's cheek as the blond turned his head.

"Not now, Blaine! Wait until they __know__."

Sam strolled to the living room. Blaine sighed and followed him. Sometimes his boyfriend was paranoid. But if Blaine was honest it was just one of Sam's features that he loved.

"Happy New Year!" he said to Burt who was sitting in an armchair. Burt got up and hugged Blaine. They sat down on the couch but when Carol came in Sam jumped up.

"We need to tell you something."

Carol put a tray with four mugs on the table.

"Calm down, Sam. We know already."

"Now, Carol, let him get it out of his system", Burt said as he took a mug. He enclosed his hands around it and looked at Sam, who slowly sank down on the couch again.

"Blaine and I are together! I stole him from Kurt." Sam closed his eyes in anticipation of a punishment and Blaine tried his best not to laugh. He just patted Sam's knee and nodded at Burt.

"Sam forced me to leave Kurt although I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Sam threatened me so I had no other choice." Blaine shrugged.

"What did he threaten you with, eating all your cookies?" Burt asked.

Sam opened his eyes and crossed his arms. "Do you guys think this is funny? I was afraid you'd throw me out of the house and now you laugh about it."

"Oh, I'm sorry. If you want to we can still throw you out", Burt offered.

"No, that won't be necessary", Sam said.

"Sam, we've seen enough teenage drama with Finn and we are clever enough not to interfere with any of our children's relationships. Well, except when they want to marry under-age", Carol said.

Burt nodded. "Been there, done that. To be honest I'm glad Kurt and Blaine didn't go there. I thought this madness would never end. To say I was shocked when you asked me if you could marry Kurt would be an understatement. But after Finn had gone through that phase, too, I eventually thought hey, let's support them, it probably won't happen anyway. Kids today." Burt rolled his eyes.

"Oh." Sam pursed his lips. "So you didn't take it as serious as Blaine made it sound all the time?"

Burt shrugged and drank from his mug. Blaine would've been offended if Burt hadn't turned out to be right. It was true, Blaine had been foolish. But that had been last year, long gone now.

* * *

 

March 16th

* * *

 Blaine finally finished the song lyrics. Now he just had to practise the lyrics with the according chords and see what needed improvement. It had taken him forever but he had wanted it to be perfect. A song for Sam, about Sam and him, what could say __'I'm yours'__  better than that? Granted, Sam wasn't on the edge of the mention of Kurt's name anymore but a romantic gesture was never wrong.

The doorbell rang and Blaine looked at the clock. If it was Sam he was early. Blaine quickly hid the lyrics in a text book – a place where they were safe from Sam – and went downstairs. Funny enough, no one was here.

"Sam?" Blaine called. Or maybe it had been the mailman? Because his parents didn't have friends over often and even less on weekdays.

Or had his father…?

Blaine sighed and went to the living room. Of course he had.

Blaine entered the room unnoticed.

"And this is my newest model, Chevrolet 1988!" Mr Anderson held up a red car model in awe. On the table were standing several other models and Sam sat on the couch, staring at them.

"Hey Sam", Blaine said.

"Oh, hi. Give me a minute."

"One minute, sure", Blaine said. "As long as with one minute you don't mean one hour."

"Blaine, come here." Mr Anderson waved him so Blaine sat down next to Sam and listened to something about old cars. Not very long, though. He didn't really see the appeal of it, to be honest, and then his mother came in and rolled her eyes.

"Christopher, give the boy a break! Sam doesn't want to play with your cars every time he's here."

"I'm just showing him my latest acquisition", Mr Anderson said. "You don't mind, do you, Sam?"

"No, why would I? It's so cool. Look, Blaine!"

Sam took a car and held it in front of Blaine's eyes, way too close. Blaine sighed and pushed away his boyfriend's hand.

"No, seriously, Christopher! Stop acting as if Sam is our son. Remember, Blaine will soon get back together with Kurt."

Mr Anderson didn't look up at her when he slid the car into a box and mumbled: "You wish."

Mrs Anderson just snorted and left the room again. Now that they had had their usual greeting ritual for Sam Blaine could take him for himself. He nudged Sam and the blond nodded.

"Thanks for showing me, Mr Anderson", he said and got up.

"Wait a minute, Sam." Mr Anderson went to a cupboard and took out a white envelope. "Last week I gave Blaine and Cooper some cash, and I don't want you to feel left out."

Blaine's eyes got big. He knew his father liked Sam but did he really, __really__  already think of him as a son? Wow! Blaine couldn't help but smile.

Sam on the other hand shook his head. "No, I can't take this! And your wife…"

"Oh, she'll get over it. Sooner or later even Carla has to accept that Blaine can make his own choices."

Mr Anderson tousled through Sam's hair and pushed the envelope in his hand before he went back to his armchair and got out his pipe, not paying attention to them anymore.

Sam just stood there so Blaine took his hand and dragged him out.

"I can't… here." Sam tried to give Blaine the envelope as soon as they were in his room. But Blaine held up his hands in a refusing gesture.

"Hell, no. My father wants __you__  to have it. It's his adoption present."

"I don't want to get adopted! I have more than enough parents already."

"Sam, don't you see how great this is? He loves you. Doesn't matter that Mum mentions Kurt every time you're here, Dad knows __you__  are my boyfriend and not one I'll be breaking up with anytime soon! And having him on our side is the best thing ever, because he'll talk to Mum sooner or later."

Sam mumbled but shrugged and put the envelope into his bag.

"Your Mum is strange. I don't think she believes it herself anymore, she just talks to hear someone say it."

"Exactly!"

Blaine sighed with relief. Not so long ago Sam had run away screaming from Mrs Anderson and now he didn't even listen to her. And not only because Kurt had updated his facebook status to ' _in a relationship with Elliot Gilbert'_ because Sam had dared to come over to Blaine's long before that already.

"Soon my father will offer you to call him 'Dad' and then nothing will stand in the way of our wedding", Blaine said as he went to his DVD shelf. "I mean, figuratively speaking."

"You are not allowed to talk of marriage for five more years", Sam said. He sat down on the bed.

Blaine looked at him. "What? Why?"

"Because you said so yourself."

Blaine frowned. Had he? He shrugged and continued the movie preparations. Meanwhile Sam went to Cooper's empty room and came back with his arms full of pillows that he spread on the bed. Then he sat down in his pillow castle. Blaine chuckled and joined his cuddly boyfriend, snuggling up to him.

"I talked to Finn", Sam said. "He finally has his eyes on a girl again! I hope they get together."

"You're too good hearted for this world", Blaine mumbled.

"Why, it's normal that you want your friends to be happy."

"Uhu."

"It is!"

"Sam… Can we not talk about Finn now?"

"Sure, honey-babe."

Blaine chuckled. He still wasn't used to Sam giving him nicknames. But he sure was used to the kisses they introduced even if that didn't mean he thought they were ordinary. He could never get enough of them.

And maybe he didn't even have to.

****THE END** **


End file.
